It was a busy end to the holiday weekend, what with Chris Brown threatening to fart on a comedian and temporarily deleting his Twitter account. (Did his publicist finally crack the code?) But despicable online behavior and even worse TV movie acting would not distract us from watching Justin Bieber swag it out with Oprah. The long-awaited interview finally aired on Sunday night, with a lot of purple and plenty of adorable Selena Gomez comments that made us want to grab poor Bieb and rock him to sleep, but virtually zero declarations of "swag." Call a doctor?

During their hour-long chat, Oprah touched on almost all of Bieber's 2011- 12 talking points: Mariah Yeater, his now ex-girlfriend and those pesky haters, while also allowing him some room to express himself via praise for his family and revealing himself to be one of those Smallville fans holding on until the bitter end. Behold, the 10 most important gems from their televised conversation, presented without commentary.

1. "What's goodness?"

2. "I try to be as normal as I can with the abnormal life that I have."

3. "I love the screams and girls thinking I'm hot—that's a good thing."

4. "I mean, I wouldn't say I DON'T have nice hair."

5. "I get days where I'm just down and gloomy... just because I'm human."

6. "I am all about really genuine people and I feel she's one of the most genuine people. She has a good heart and I can talk to her about anything."

7. "Always just touching each other, yeah..."

8. "You are Oprah, and [if] you are telling me to not get married by 25, I should probably listen."

9. "Beyoncé... she's amazing to me."

10. "They live in Canada so there's a lot of that, a lot of wind and snow."