Justin Bieber's new single rattles off the merits of why he's an ideal significant other—cheese access, trips to the moon—but how does he well does he do when taking on the world of Ashton Kutcher? Bieber's first episode as guest curator/prank architect on MTV's updated version of Punk'd premiered Thursday night, packed with all the cameos necessary to shut down Twitter for a few hours with too many mentions about somebody "killing it." MTV smartly front-loaded its return to candid video of stars freaking out with reigning teen queens Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus, making that golden inner circle of Young Hollywood still seem as enviable a place as ever, even if such friendships run the risk of inspiring hate songs and leaked drug videos.
Things started off well for the Bieb, who used his deep address book to successfully convince Swift she had ruined one couple's wedding day and may be going to jail because of his pyrotechnic tendencies. But not all artists or notable celebrities are as gullible, nor as willing to flash a surprised face. And while she'll surely use this breach of trust as a jumping off point for her next album—and we encourage it!—Rob Dyrdek exists as the stern warning Tay should have been given before heading over to "write" on a "boat" in "Malibu" with a horny teen star. Cute as he is, that Bieb is not to be trusted. Miley Cyrus fell to a similar fate, trusting the network after they'd given her the same privilege of punking a few friends (stay tuned for that episode!) and making our brain hurt following the premise of punking someone who thinks they're punking you.
Producers warned him against setting his ambitious sights on a fellow MTV star—who knows a thing or two about TV lighting and may or may not hit Dolce with Ashton and Wilmer on the weekends—but, dammit, never say never, you guys. The Fantasy Factory owner's outsmarting of Bieber forced him put in a call to friend and collaborator Sean Kingston, who dropped everything to come out for dinner, because he'll try anything once following that jet ski accident. (Too soon?) Cue a car crashing into the side of the building, and our favorite Jamaican attempting to make peace out of the hysteria that followed. Nothing revolutionary to those who remember Justin Timberlake's epic weed-fueled tax dilemma, or the many scenes that launched Dax Shepard into our lives—and into the arms of Kristen Bell—but roughly 22 extra minutes of Bieber-watching than fans were previously blessed with.
Let's face it: The Bieb is no Kutcher, which, when considering recent events, is a good thing. Plus, everybody knows the ability to lie and sneak around only gets stronger with age (and years in the entertainment industry). At 18, the possibilities are endless. With Adorable Aussie Cody Simpson, and U.K. boy band The Wanted on deck for future episodes, perhaps some of these details will get lost in translation, thus opening the door for miscommunication, minor panic and cheap laughs.
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