It was theoretically possible. There could be untold troves of lucid, insightful Randy Jackson criticism left in some Fox vault, heard only by video editors, IT folks, janitors and the rare entry-level Fox employee or intern who proves herself trustworthy and cool enough to gain access to American Idol's stash of secret smarts. All it would take was one rogue leaker or hacker for history's assessment of Randy to be completely rehabilitated.

Well, OK, no. The Hollywood Reporter cited a conference call with Jackson, and either the site's expansion plan under former US Weekly editor Janice Min involves cherry-picking the most boring quotes possible, or Randy Jackson really does have almost nothing interesting to say. Behold, the "highlights":

On Idol's longevity, or lack thereof: "[The show could] go on for quite a number of years."

On Hollywood Week: "I don't think we've had a tougher, more challenging Hollywood Week ever." (He also uses the fact that the show's medical staff was called in more than ever as a teaser, which, ugh, think about what you just said.)

On Simon Cowell: "Simon is one of the smartest people I know. I'm sure he's got some very interesting ideas up his sleeve."

On The X Factor hemorrhaging people: "It's sad to hear all that's going on with that show."

On why there are so many talent competitions: "The space of singing shows is definitely a little crowded now. That's what happens when the marketplace gets full."

On Mariah Carey's judging abilities: "She'd be amazing. I don't know if that's ever gonna happen."

At least there's going to be a Madonna video tonight? And the recaps tend to be OK-to-awesome? Damn. Promoting Idol is harder than it looks. See you tomorrow morning, after a show that's sure to be lipsmackingly something.