Simon van Kempen, Real Househusband of New York City, took his debut single "I Am Real" to the stage last night, leaving all worry, dignity and any ounce of shame he may possess behind (we're still unsure whether he had any to begin with. Have you seen his outfits?). Fine, maybe it was just the tiny set of Bravo's Watch What Happens Live, but still, millions of people saw him "sing" in all his blue, leathery glory. (Perhaps not the best thing to watch before bedtime.) While Simon's attempt at carrying a tune was painful enough for even the most naive music fan or seasoned Housewives connoisseur, we wouldn't want you kids at home to feel left out. Check out his performance below, if only for the beautiful reaction shots from Andy Cohen and Real Housewives Kelly Bensimon and Cindy Barshop. Come to think of it, this song might work better with backup dancers.

While our eyes may be burning, Andy continues to smile... all the way to the bank.