CULTURE

This Week in Internet Hell: A Bear, a Bunny, and a Bird (Also, Thanos)

The Easter Bunny is a criminal, and there’s still no joy in Idaho.

Venus via WeHeartI

Happy belated Easter! Did you hear that the Easter Bunny was arrested in Florida? Or that you can now stay in a giant potato in Idaho, because how else would you experience joy in Idaho? Also, Thanos is back. Welcome to this week in Internet Hell.

1. Thanos Is Google. Google is Thanos.

The release of Avengers: Endgame may have flooded Twitter with spoilers and broken box office records, but mostly it's real. I mean Thanos is real. Sure, Google is working a cool, kitschy marketing ploy here, but also it's a warning. Guys, he's coming.

2. 11% of the World's Population Lives on $2/DayBut Others Pay $200/Night to Sleep in a Potato Airbnb

With “hash browns for cushions, fries as shelves, and a giant bowl of fluffy mash to snuggle into at night," the cost of spending one night in the Big Idaho Potato Hotel is the same as sponsoring a child's education for six months. Also, where are the windows? How is this safe?

Popdust internet hell This Is Insider


This Is Insider


3. Killer Pets Deserve Homes, Too

Some pets murder their owners and are put to death. But, like humans, if you are too pretty to die, then you can murder whomever you'd like and probably get away with it.

4. The Easter Bunny Got Arrested—in Florida

Antoine McDonald dressed up as the Easter Bunny “for laughs," but then he saw a man in a parking lot spit at a woman, so he intervened. The unidentified man became aggressive, and so McDonald, who told WKMG that he's the type of person "to avoid fights," began punching the man until police arrived. He did it all in a bunny costume, guys—somewhere in Florida, a man has bruises from the Easter Bunny.

5. Anti-Vaccers Held a Rally and They Used a Grizzly Bear to Prove Their Point

Yes. This (sort of) occurred this past week. Gizmodo published, “This Was Supposed to Be a Story About a Bizarre Anti-Vaccine Rally and a Sedated Bear. Then It Got Weird." It got weird after you heard about the bear? How? When? Why? And how bloody were the inevitable injuries that ensued? I won't spoil it for you. Here is an excerpt of the organizers' proposed plans for the rally:

Gizmodo



Meg Hanson is a Brooklyn-based writer, teacher, and jaywalker. Find Meg at her website and on Twitter @megsoyung.


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Music Features

On This Day: Shakira Liberated Everyone's “She Wolf”

"I was in the studio in a bad mood that day, then I got inspired and went to a corner and I wrote the lyrics and the melody in 10 minutes. The image of the she wolf just came to my head, and when I least expected it I was howling and panting," Shakira said.

By Fabio Alexx

11 years ago, on July 10th, 2009, Colombian singer Shakira released the first single off her third studio album.

"She Wolf" is a synth-pop banger built on a B minor progression. It was, in many ways, an insane song, born out of the singer's own frustration and ennui.

"I was in the studio in a bad mood that day, then I got inspired and went to a corner and I wrote the lyrics and the melody in 10 minutes. The image of the she wolf just came to my head, and when I least expected it I was howling and panting," Shakira said.

Though the music was composed by John Hill and Sam Endicott, lead singer of post-punk band The Bravery, the lyrics were all Shakira's own. "[Shakira] contacted him (Hill), asking if he had any stuff," said Endicott. "We never had her in mind. We just made the thing independently of her, and then she liked it a lot, and she sang over it. She used some of the melodies we put in there and then wrote these crazy lyrics about being a werewolf. And that's how it happened."

Shakira - She Wolf www.youtube.com


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FILM

Top Fan Predictions for “Avengers: Endgame”

Our final picks involve a bald Tilda Swinton, what Thanos dreams about at night and Nick Fury’s lost eye.

CNe

The moment of reckoning is approaching. Hope for humanity could still be salvaged. Samuel L. Jackson may once again don an eyepatch.

In the final countdown to Avengers: Endgame, it's time to consolidate your embarrassing amount of knowledge about the 21 films that comprise Marvel's cinematic universe. Thanks to Thanos' epic Bitch Snap™ at the end of Infinity War, half the universe is dead (including the most beloved Avengers) and the Infinity Stones have become accessories on a glove so ugly that it's capable of un-making existence. But considering Marvel's reported plans to release 10 more films by 2022 (including sequels to Black Panther, Spider-Man, and Doctor Strange), we doubt that any of the Avengers will remain dead since that would mean missing out on Marvel Studios' paychecks.

Before Endgame kills most of the wild fan theories that have infested the Internet, we're placing our bets on one of these three contenders. If we're wrong, snap at us.

1. Time Travel Theory (Doctor Strange Knows All)

Likelihood: ⚡⚡⚡ out of 5

Have we forgotten that Doctor Strange can see into the future? In 2016's unfortunate flick Doctor Strange, a bald Tilda Swinton warns him that he can only see as far as his own lifespan. But then the end of the movie features him creating endless time loops that reset each time he dies. As BuzzFeed News points out, there's a scene at the end of Infinity War that's only possible if Doctor Strange was within a time loop at the end of the film. Tony asks him how many outcomes foretell the Avengers winning. He answers ominously, “One." Theoretically, if he's seeing past his own death, this means that the entire ending of Infinity War could be reset.

BuzzFeed

via: Reddit

2. Gamora Isn't Dead and Maybe Saves the Universe

Likelihood: ⚡⚡ out of 5

Sure, the most glamorous Guardian of the Galaxy was thrown into the pit of Vormir when Thanos sacrificed her to obtain the Soul Stone. But as Den of Geek's editor-in-chief Mike Cecchini points out, in the Marvel comic books the Soul Stone actually preserves the souls of many characters who are believed to be dead. He says, "There's a lot of precedent for that from the comic book stories [in which] the Soul Stone was where various characters would cool their heels until they were ready to take on Thanos properly."

In fact, Infinity War director Joe Russo confirmed (at least part of) this theory last year. In a Q&A, he said, "When [Thanos] goes inside the soul stone, he has this kind of conversation with the younger version of his Gamora." So when it comes to whether or not Gamora's soul in inside the stone, "She, in fact is, yes," said Russo. "It was an attempt on our part because we don't like two-dimensional roles or three-dimensional villains. Every villain is a hero in their own story and as insane and psychotic and brutal and violent as Thanos is, he's a more complex villain if you go on a journey with him emotionally. He does care for things and it is complicated for him to execute his plan and it cost him something."

3. Not All Cats Are Jerks (The Tabby Will Save Us All)

Likelihood: ⚡⚡⚡⚡ out of 5

The Wrap

Captain Marvel introduced Goose, Nick Fury's (Samuel L. Jackson) orange tabby cat. Actually, he's a Flerken, a "very rare, apparently extremely dangerous alien animal with human-level intellect that just happens to look indistinguishable from earth cats. They're also able to do some really freaky things." One of their powers is to produce poisonous venom, which is actually how Nick Fury lost his eye. Another power is the ability to swallow anything—even an Infinity Stone. Oh, and they can also unlock portals to other realms. So, should the infinity stones be freed from Thanos' gauntlet, Goose could swallow them and transport them to another realm. How? The portals are in their cheeks. You heard me.


Meg Hanson is a Brooklyn-based writer, teacher, and jaywalker. Find Meg at her website and on Twitter @megsoyung.


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