We’ve all been there. First week at a new job or a new college, (or most likely high school) and we’ve found ourselves a truly magical new group of friends that we’re just dying to impress! For most of us, we got highlights in our hair, a belly button piercing or pretended to be into Bob Dylan (so deep).
But none of this was enough to please David Cameron’s chums at the prestigious Oxford University, as reports are emerging that he… well he er… The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom porked a pig…
That is to say, Mr Cameron (allegedly) unzipped his pants, whipped out his penis and plopped it straight into the mouth of an unsuspecting dead pig. He then (in my imagination) proceeded to wiggle it around as his mates whooped and cheered, threw their top hats in the air and burnt some money.
Of course the allegations come from a rather dubious source, an unofficial and scathing biography of David Cameron written by his ex BFF and former Conservative Lord Ashcroft. In Call Me Dave, Ashcroft admits some personal ‘beef’ towards his old pal, since Dave failed to give him an important role after winning the 2010 election.
Well we bet poor old Dave is feeling the wrath now, as extracts of the book appeared in that beacon of truth The Daily Mail this morning. Amongst several claims of debauchery in his youth, the weirdest has to be that the British Prime Minister entered ‘a private part of his anatomy’ into a dead pig’s mouth as part of an initiation ritual to a private dining club. Apparently at these dinners, the food eats you!
The dining club, named Piers Gaveston (after the lover of King Edward II) was known for it’s excessive displays of vulgarity as well as bizarre initiation rituals by the posh members.
As of yet, Mr Hameron has refused to comment on the embarrassing story. Other Conservative representatives have dismissed it as ‘total crap’.
Just another day in the world of politics!