Prospective suitors be warned: Taylor Swift doesn't give a dang if you want to sip your latte in peace and anonymity. If you can't handle the attention that comes with dating a Grammy winner, there are plenty of statuesque, musically gifted blondes working at your local Starbucks. (Just expect retaliation. Through song.) "This is my life and if somebody wants to have a relationship or has privacy issues, then we don't have the same viewpoint," Swift told Ellen DeGeneres on Wednesday. The two talked about boyfriends, heartbreak and the kinds of "weird stuff" that inspires her infamously revealing songwriting. "As far I hear people talk about like, 'Oh the intrusions on my privacy...' there are a million other jobs you could have had," she explained. "Live your life, and if people happen to take pictures, then you laugh about it in the car afterwards. Whatever." Fine, Taylor. Just don't date Soulja Boy, or whatever.

After chatting and surviving the Ellen DeGeneres Cover Girl Training Program ("Squint! Squint! Chase the straw!"), Swift premiered "The Story of Us," the follow-up to "Mean" off her super-successful album Speak Now. She does her best Sexy Schoolgirl impression, trading in her guitar for an extra serving of sass, before breaking into some bizarre Miley Cyrus-inspired shakes. (Skip to 2:32 if you suffer from schadenfreude.)