Selena Gomez recently Instagrammed a photo collage of her, bestie Taylor Swift, and two randoms (charity cases of some sort, no doubt) enjoying what appears to be the most fun night ever had by anyone. "Because you need a best friend that's sings beautifully, another best friend to dance with you and another to listen," Selena explained of the festivities. "Oh and cupcakes... Cupcakes." Yes, Selena, cupcakes. Don't even act like you invited anybody else before you know for a fact that cupcakes were going to be involved.

In addition to these photographs, we also obtained the exclusive list of rules for attendance at Cupcake Party, which seem reasonable enough. And before you ask, yes—we are, of course, seething with jealousy that we were not invited. We can sing, dance, listen and chow as well as anyone, honest. Anyway, here were Selena's list of party directives:

1. The first rule of cupcake party is: You DO talk about cupcake party. With whoever!!

2. Seriously, tell your friends.

3. No beer (except for root beer floats!!), cigarettes (except for candy cigarettes!!) or pot (actually pot's OK) allowed.

4. All text messages sent or received must be shared with the group for giggling and micro-analysis.

5. No mentioning You Know Who. (And no asking who You Know Who is if you don't already Know Who.)

6. Obligatory singalong dance breaks every 30 minutes. (Lip synching not acceptable.) Please bring a change of pajama pants in case your primary pair gets a little gross over the course of the evening.

7. No shoes.

8. No secrets.

9. At least one of your LPs must have sold at least 500,000 copies within the last five years. Please bring your label-provided gold or platinum record to check with Andre at the door. +1s acceptable, but don't push it, guys.

10. MOAR CUPCAKES!!!!!!!