Little Mix's debut album, DNA, drops in America this week, and with it comes "Red Planet," an extraterrestrial jam about falling for a man who is quite literally from Mars. This got us thinking of our favorite subgenre of love song, the kind in which the narrator meets a sultry alien, and then has sex with him/her/it. You laugh, but there are more of them than you'd think! To honor Little Mix's Martian lust, we're presenting our list of the five best songs about alien sex.
Honorable Mention: "Space Cowboy" by 'N Sync, which we were this close to including, until we looked at the lyrics and discovered that while it is a song about having sex in space, both partners in this interstellar intercourse are humans from the planet Earth. Sorry, boys! You've got to have zero-gravity hookups with aliens to make it on this list.
5. THE LONELY ISLAND, "INCREDIBAD"
Gains points for sheer ridiculousness, loses points for being on a comedy album. The best sex-with-aliens songs refuse to let you know whether they're in on the joke or not.
4. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, "SPACESHIP COUPE"
Like most of the songs on The 20/20 Experience, "Spaceship Couple" goes on way too long—seven minutes!—which makes it hard at first listen to grasp exactly how silly it is. And it is a very silly song: Justin lays out excatly how his star-date (with a woman who "everybody knows [is] from outer space") will go down: First they'll fly around in JT's personal spacecraft, then they'll make love—on the moon. Think too hard about the spacesuit logistics of such and act and you'll end up looking like this.
3. LITTLE MIX, "RED PLANET"
The porn-music guitars in the intro give it away: When it comes to space-coitus, the girls of Little Mix are into having sex, not making love. In this case, they're practically begging for some hot Martian loving. "Boy, you make it hot on your red planet, turn it up on your red planet." Whatever it is about Martians that makes them righteous lovers goes unexplained, but it's got to be something good. As the girls sing later: "I never want it to end, do it over again, do it over again, do it over again." (Of course, there is the small chance that "make it hot" just means the girls wanted their Martian man to turn up the thermostat; as NASA explains, "Mars may look hot, but donʼt let its color fool you. Mars is actually pretty cold!")
2. KATY PERRY FT. KANYE WEST, "E.T."
Abysmal racial politics aside, this is the heavyweight of alien-sex songs, with Perry positively shouting about how much she wants to be "abducted" by her alien lover and Kanye taking up his role with gleeful abandon. "I know a bar out in Mars where they drive spaceships instead of cars," he raps. "Tell you what's next: alien sex / I'ma disrobe you / then I'm gonna probe you." It's not good per se, but it was a no. 1 hit, doing more to legitimize the concept of alien sex with mainstream listeners than any other song on this list.
1. R. KELLY, "SEX PLANET"
When you're ranking songs about bizarre forms of lovemaking, you're going to have Robert Kelly at the top of the list. This is a man, after all, who's dubbed himself a "Sexasaurus" in a song about a sex zoo. Like the Lonely Island, you know he's in on the joke; unlike them, though, he plays the space-sex gag completely straight. It's enough to make you wish that R. Kelly really did have sex with aliens, instead of the people he seems to favor in real life.