Moving right down the list on their busy promotional schedule, One Direction taped a large-scale concert for The Ellen DeGeneres Show last week. It doesn't air until Thursday, but after their eye-opening performance on Today Tuesday A.M.—seriously, that much screaming at such an early hour will do a better job than coffee—we thought we'd continue to provide you with a taste of their Take Me Home media tour. The gents are looking awfully dapper, yes?

In the first of two previews, Harry Styles chatted with Ellen about his latest body art acquisition. Yes, he has even more than we thought! "I went straight from work," he says of his new ink—two little birds on his chest, which is nearly a Bob Marley homage—before pulling down his collar just enough to illicit rioting in the streets of downtown Los Angeles. 

Soon enough that "he's got 27 tattoos" line Louis sings so poignantly on "I Would" will have no other choice but to be directed at Harry—just as they always intended it to be? Maybe that's why he's still single.

This is not the first time 1D have been asked about significant others in the presence of television cameras; consider it further proof that the report their team supplied media with a list of "banned questions" was taken out of context. Since it's been almost six months since our last relationship check-in, let's review:

NIALL: Still single, despite the Demi Lovato chatter.

LOUIS: Still taken, despite the intensity of certain 1D fan fiction forums.

ZAYN: Going strong with Perrie Edwards, of Little Mix and X Factor fame.

HARRY: Wild and unattached to any lady, much like his hair.

LIAM: Newly single—hence the rebound 'do. This should shake up the nightly wingman rotation.

As for our beloved Niall, what will it take for a lovely lass to tie him down? Looks, laughs and an American passport.