Who's this Natalia Kills person that will.i.am has attached his Black Eyed Pea shoots to? Here's a quick primer. Single one, "Mirrors," was produced by Cherry Cherry Boom Boom of Lady Gaga's Haus, and it shows--imagine Gaga's sound circa The Fame, just five times darker even by apocalypse-pop standards and a tad wrapped up in its fetish ropes and chains. Single two, "Wonderland," was not produced by Cherry Cherry Boom Boom and sounds like Rihanna's "Disturbia" if it were an answer song to Taylor Swift's fairy tales. (She also recorded as Verbalicious, but that's long abandoned.)

Neither of these crossed over Stateside, so here comes will.i.am. shittin' on y'all with the U.S. connection. Does it work? Listen below:

Natalia's lightened up enough to give us a pleasant-enough piano thump, although the pleasantries are very "California Gurls." But then you start listening to the lyrics. will.i.am: "I got some money in my pocket and I wanna go shopping and go buy me some things I love." These are in fact the very first words. These are what listeners will hear first. It's like sampling "My Humps" before your would-be breakout single, and it damn near wrecks the song.

That said, Natalia deserves a calling-out of her own for "My wallet's anorexic" (how sensitive) or "I could look fresh in a potato sack" (how original) or "wanna be like Midas when my bank account is minus" (how knowledgeable about how the Greek myth ended.) It's enough to make you declare an honorary Buy Nothing Day--and when the idea's to get Americans to drop their fives/tens/twenties on your new single, that's the worst response you could possibly provoke.