80s night! 80s night! 80s night!

It’s 80s night on X Factor and everybody looks like Tiffany tonight. Even the judges! Kelly Rowland and Demi Lovato have eye make up on that makes them look like tropical neon mall-birds. Pretty ones I mean.

Before the performances start, though, Mario reminds us one of our beloved 13 has to say buh bye tonight, even though they performed and practice their song for tonight along with everyone else. And who’s going home tonight? It’s… *Long Pause. Actually maybe the longest pause in live television history. Why is this still happening?* Carlos Guevara. Aw maaaan! He gives the sweetest parting speech and handles his exit with grace and then he’s gone forever. We’re gonna miss you babiboi!

So on to the rest of 80s night. Lillie McCloud is up next. In the 80s, Lillie went by the name of Nicole McCloud, and had a single called “Don’t You Want My Love” that didn’t blow up. I can’t understand why— I’m already on my fourth listen of it on Youtube and this song is a verifiable #BAAANGERRR. Lillie is back with a brand new ‘do and a dance song. She sings Chaka Kahn’s “Ain’t Nobody” and shimmies herself round stage. Lillie is basically a genetic anomaly because she honestly does not look any older than 25. Lillie, as always, gets great notes from the judges, even if Simon tells her dancing “Isn’t really her thing.”

Carlito Olivero is next with Gloria Estefan’s “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You” and, real talk, this dude is floundering really hard. Feel like his days are numbered out here on X Factor. After Carlito, Rion Page takes the stage to sing Pat Benetar’s “We Belong.” She really can’t do any wrong dis girl. I was like “Ohh, mmm,” listening to the first thirty seconds of her performance because I found it pitchy, but the judges were just like LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, so that shows how much I know about voices being in tune! Also fun Rion Page moment tonight was when Demi told her it was 80s night and she was all “I really love the Spice Girls.” Mawwwhhhh<3.

Sweet Suspense sings “Mickey” and it’s a super fun performance that only Simon Cowell liked (and me and hopefully everybody in the audience because these girls seriously can’t leave because they are just so cute and sparkly and fun omg pleeeease don’t vote Sweet Suspense off they light up my night). Tim Olstad obviously sings a Phil Collins song (“Against All Odds,” of all things) and there are studs on his suit jacket and just… bleeeeeeague. Khaya Cohen sings “Borderline” by Madonna and Simon finally apologizes for calling Khaya boring a few weeks ago. Khaya is the strongest singer in the competition and homegirl deserves respect.

Restless Road sings “Footloose” and the judges (actually Kelly, go Kelly) finally point out that one of them, Colton Pack, has the X factor, and all the other two is sit around looking cherubic and sometimes sing. Rachel Potter sings Heart’s “Alone” from behind a chain link fence— why do they always give Rachel the strangest sets?— but it’s unanimous that this was a super performance for her. GO RACHEEEL!

Ellona Santiago aka The Energizer Bunny (just nicknamed her this two seconds ago, let’s try it out) is up next, singing and dancing to “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” by Whitney. Ellona can just perform perform perform. It’s really crazy to watch someone be so consistently professional on a singing competition show. Ellona is totes going somewhere. Feel like she’d make a perfect EDM pop star. Did I say that already? Maybs.

Well good thing we didn’t vote Josh Levi off the show for good before the live shows started, because he is bringing the heat 2night with Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up.” Uh, what? This performance is…amazing? He’s like a mini Usher in training right now. I love Josh Levi, I just decided this tonight.

Jeff Gutt got all karaoke on us tonight with “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight”… who picked this? I demand to know. This song is too obviously 80s to perform on 80s night, Kelllyyyyy. Alex and Sierra round out the night with Robert Palmer’s “Addicted to Love,” which they sing on a set that makes it seem like they are two different rooms (why? why why why) For the big finale, though, Sierra bursts through the “door” separating them and they sing the song standing next to each other, finally sounding their best. I really like them. And Sierra’s irish jig dancing she does during the promo vid is too cute, I wanna see her dance on stage.

And that's a wrap on 80s night, which, I think we can all agree, was tons more exciting than Motown night was. Tomorrow two acts leave AND Selena Gomez performs. TGTT! (Thank God Tomorrow’s Thursday. On X Factor.)