MUSIC

Tove Lo Keeps it Crazy, Sexy, Cool with New Track, "True Disaster"

Tove Lo's latest dance floor anthem is a must listen!

TGIF! Today, the pure pop goddesses gifted our grateful ears with Tove Lo's slinky and synth-y track, "True Disaster", the latest offering from her buzzed-about sophomore album, Lady Wood, out October 28th via Island Records. The Swedish singer and perpetual smash hit maker's latest Top 10-ready bop comes replete with fantastic… everything. Which isn't so shocking because Tove Lo perpetually proves that she is inarguably, for a lack of a better word, every fucking thing.

"True Disaster" kicks off with haunting, sort of dead girl-ish, vacant vocals over a dreamy, Robyn-esque beat. Then comes the sassy finger snapping pre-chorus, which finds the 28-year-old cooing about giving zero fucks re: inevitably getting hurt because of her penchant for bad boys. Oh! And the explosive chorus does NOT disappoint: "Keep playing my heart strings faster and faster / You can be just what I want, my true disaster," she sings over a thumping beat. In other words, hi Rihanna, there's another Bad Gal in town.

The "Cool Girl" singer's unapologetic lyrics are very #FBF AIM away message-friendly for Tove Lo's fellow bad gals/bois. Proof: "Pretty girls like it fancy but we don't keep it clean" and "We get dirty and we go hard, some things we don't mean." She also shouts out her inability to hide her "feels". #Same. She is a badass, straightforward Scorpio, after all, and she knows what she wants, even if doom is around the corner. Still, there's a hint of fragility and sadness behind the pipes, the production, and her apparent affinity for hedonism and escapism. Like the aforementioned and incredible Robyn, Tove Lo is a deep, complex dance-floor diva whose tunes resonate with many a millennial. In other words, we totally feel you, (cool) girl.

Based on "True Disaster" and Tove Lo's first single, the summer smash, "Cool Girl," Lady Wood is giving us cohesive, crazy, sexy, cool thematic vibes. "When you want someone to be brave, you say 'grow some balls,'" she recently told Vogue about the album title. "'It's kind of like saying a chick with balls, but since we don't have balls, it's lady wood. Things that kind of terrify me and turn me on at the same time." Yas queen. If these tunes are any indication, then there's no sophomore slump in sight for our favorite Queen of the Clouds.

PS. Tove, pretty please release the Wiz Khalifa track ASAP. Stay true to your words, and continue to keep us high, all the time, with your kick ass and catchy as hell, losing-our-damn-minds-on-vodka-drenched-dancefloor-ready bangers.

Take a listen to the track below, which we highly suggest blasting during your Friday evening pre-game. You're welcome.

MUSIC

Is The Spice Girls Very Messy Reunion Cancelled? (Ginger Spice is Having A Baby!)

All is not right in the Spice World...

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On May 31st 1998, Geri "Ginger Spice" Halliwell announced her evil departure from the Spice Girls at the height of their fame, resulting in millions of tweens around the (Spice) World to experience their first trauma. I spiraled. I was ten-ish, so my version of unraveling meant attacking the snack cabinet, furiously swallowing Gushers, Fruit Roll-ups, Capri Sun, and the psychotically sugary such. How could she? What happened to the "friendship never ends" thing, Ging? Alas, my heart finally began the healing process when Ginger reunited with the Girl Power gang for their 2007-08 'The Return of the Spice Girls' global tour, and then for 2012's iconic and pristine performance at the Olympics in London.

Yesterday, October 10th 2016, Geri announced via her Instagram that she's expecting her second child at 44-years-old, which made my sister and I scream-o text things (replete with the coffin emoji) like: "Why does Geri have to ruin everyfuckingthing!! WHY!" Hi, we were referring to her breaking up with the gals right before the American leg of their '98 tour, and NOW, sabotaging their (sort of? kind of?) forthcoming (subject to change...) reunion. Reminder: a few months ago, Ging, Emma "Baby Spice" Bunton, and Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown tossed a video onto a site with the (interesting/potentially problematic) URL, SpiceGirlsGem.com. GEM (painfully) = Geri, Emma, Mel B. Yes, they looked absolutely gorgeous and downright thrilled in the vid, offering this kind and cute gem: "Happy 20th birthday to all our fans! You've stood by us for over 20 years, so we want to say thank you. We hope to tell you soon what you want, what you really, really want."

Post-sibling meltdown, I simmered. Because, while it's gut-wrenching to admit such a terrible thing, I'm just not so sure if I really, really want GEM. Something just does not sit well. For one, GEM is an awful name. I mean, I could barely handle their greatness as a foursome. It was the zig without the ah! Anyway, I didn't mind and wasn't surprised with Victoria Beckham's "I think I'll pass" when the reunion rumors were first swirling, because a miserable Spice Girl is not my cup of tea. (In related news, Posh recently expressed she'd be "a bit sad" if they sang the Spice Girls' songs instead of new material, because "what we did as the Spice Girls was so special." THE SHADE OF IT ALL!) But the lack of Mel "Sporty Spice" C, who's unarguably the most talented of the Spices with those power pop pipes? I am so sincerely sorry, but I just cannot.

So, on second, Mature Spice thought, maybe Geri's baby bump is a beautiful thing. Baby Spice seems quite happy about the news. Proof: Ginger's Instagram post last night reveals a smiling Baby Spice with her hand on Ginger's Baby Spice bump. Geri had an "amazing night," which involved Emma presenting her with the 'Attitude Award.' (No, I'm not sure what that is, but it sounds accurate re: the most spicy of the Spice Girls.) She ended her caption with #mamaspice, and Sporty Spice "liked" it. AW!

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Does the burgeoning bump really interfere with the Spice Girls, errr, GEM's upcoming plans? (If the rumors are true, and they're holding auditions to tragically replace Sporty and Posh, then I hope fucking so.) Let's investigate. Looking back at their '98 Spice World world tour, you may recall Posh and Scary performing up to three months preggers! So, there is hope for GEM! Oh, but if you're a freak like me, you'll notice that Scary Spice has recently un-followed Geri, perhaps in the wake of the pregnancy. She also no longer follows Sporty or Posh. She's only sticking with, for now, Emma. When 5 Becomes 2, anyone? Is Mel B the true Baby Spice? Are we gonna be stuck with EM instead of GEM?! This is all "Too Much"! (Iconic Spice Girls ballad reference.)

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Today, October 11th, 2016, my heart hurts. It seems like the "friendship never ends" thing is long gone like Geri's Union Jack minidress and my tween bowl cut. But I choose to be #StrongSpice and hold onto the joyful memories. Today, I will proudly rock my Spice World tour snapback. (Okay, I've been doing so since '98.) While the glisten may be no longer for GEM, Geri, forever my fav spice, shines on. #HappySpice! Now that's what we really, really want. Right?

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Review: A Million Reasons Why We're Not Going So Gaga Over Lady Gaga's Stripped-Down 'Joanne' Ballad

We were rooting for you, Gaga!

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Let's talk about Lady Gaga's latest release from her forthcoming Joanne LP, shall we? It's a melodramatic, countrified ballad called "Million Reasons," in which the uber-talented Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta's musical theater-friendly bravado is in endless overdrive. The references/comparisons are already pouring in for the stripped-down number, as seen via a quick #MillionReasons Twitter search. Bruce Springsteen-meets-Tracy Chapman! Johnny Cash-goes-on-a-date-with-Carrie Underwood! Also, the Indigo Girls...?!? Jesus, please take the wheel! My ears are experiencing something a bit different/semi-grating from the pop superstar, though. Like, maybe she had a few envious summertime slumber parties with musical theater royalty and multiple Tony Award winner, Patti Lupone, where activities included smoking many a joint while belting and harmonizing to Dixie Chicks' records. Can you even imagine being a fly on that royal blue, velvet wallpapered wall?! *Faints, convulses, dies.* Also and obviously involved were an array of artisanal cheeses paired with fine red wine teeth.

It's apparent that Lady Gaga's Joanne era has found her once again reinventing herself in true "I'm an artist from New York!" form. I'm actually so here for her hanging up the meat dress for daisy dukes, midriffs and cowboy hats. It's very on-trend. But, this tune, albeit very different for Gaga compared to her previous global superstar-making bops, isn't anything groundbreaking or forward-thinking. It's fine. I live for a roaring vocal over simple guitar strums and piano chords. And the verses and pre-choruses are super hooky and lovely, so much so that they almost distract from the saccharine, rhyme-y lyrics. (See also: "If I had a highway, I would run for the hills. If you could find a driveway, I'd forever be still.") This should've been the pleasant sonic surprise we've all been waiting for/rooting for since learning about her working with Mark f'n Ronson. A break from the rocket booms and robotic synths and soul-drenched torch songs and Tony Bennett jazz duets! But we've already heard this song. For me, it makes me hum P!nk's stripped-down "I Don't Believe You," which was her sixth single from Funhouse. That's the thing! "Million Reasons" is sixth single material. It'll be a good karaoke jam, but I'd rather belt out off-key another bittersweet ballad from another Lady -- that'd be, and don't you dare judge, "Need You Now" by Lady Antebellum.

So, do we really need this song now, replete with lyrics about cutting through tattered leather, from Lady Gaga? Debatable. And sure, I'll take it. But perhaps I/we just expect so much more from the talent considering her incredible body of work. Her reinvention and rawest sound yet is definitely commendable. The song is good. It's just nothing to go Gaga about. (Here's hoping that we'll lose our damn minds over that Florence Welch duet.) Final "Million Reasons" verdict: one Lil Monster paw up.

(PS. This review is the writer's own and does not represent other Popdust-ers.)


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Arts

Grunge Legends Garbage Release Their Creepy Chemistry Class Gone Wild Music Video for “Magnetized”

Shirley Loses her Marbles in Garbage's New Must Watch Video!

Can somebody pretty please hit up the one-and-only Garbage frontwoman that is Shirley iconic grunge queen Manson for us? Because it's a struggle attempting to analyze the maniacal madness that is going on in "Magnetized," the second single and music video from Garbage's sixth studio album, Strange Little Birds. One thing is for sure: it's creepy and it's kooky. And the dark song, like the entirety of the alt-rock legends' roaring tunes found on the LP, is fan-fuckin-tastic. It's seriously giving us major "Push It" 2.0 vibes.

But the video, people. THE VIDEO! First off, it proves that Shirley remains to forever be the flaw-free grunge goddess and badass style icon that we all live and die for. She looks so damn good! I mean, those powder pink punk locks are made of spiked punch dreams. Also, the '90s-ish cherry red velvet baby doll dress is simply incred.

So, there's a lot happening in the Sci-Fi-heavy, Scott Stuckey-directed clip. This includes Shirley finding herself in a mad science laboratory, I think, where she furiously croaks about not being in love and being "magnetized by you." (I feel you, girl.) Perhaps the getting-tangled-in-a-neon-rope thing is a lovelorn metaphor. Unclear. There's also a tween, adorable Shirley doppelgänger, who roams a spooky hallway while clutching a teddy bear, plays dress-up in a witch costume, and experiences a super static-y bad hair day. Those are the worst.

The most magnetizing (LOL) highlight is the gorg Shirley of today rocking a witch hat while swinging on... a swing. The childlike playfulness VS. the evil (or maybe just misunderstood!) witch juxtaposition! It's quite poetic, or something. And on that note, Shirley would have unarguably been a fantastic addition to the American Horror Story: Coven badass crew, am I right? (Although I'm really not sure my mind could've handled Stevie Nicks AND Shirley Manson sharing scenes. *DEAD*) There's needles, lasers, surgical gloves, wind machines, smoke machines, boiling potions, enlarged (AKA terrifying) pupils, flashing television screens, really nice and severe eye-makeup moments and the thematic-friendly magnifying glasses. Okay, so, still not really sure what's going on. (Note: I nearly failed Chemistry class, so…) But it all looks very stylish and edgy and Halloween appropriate. Perhaps the final lyric from the grunge gem does the finest explaining of the musical horror story: "There's nothing I can do. It's all a fantasy."

Shirley, you'll always reign supreme.

Correct response:

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Arts

Rihanna Makes a Badass Beauty Statement With the Debut of her Killer Dreads

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In a not-so-shocking (albeit still extremely pleasing) pop superstar news update, the always fearless Bad Gal RiRi has revealed her latest badass beauty moment. Hi there, head-turning, nearly knee-length, gorgeous dreadlocks. We heart you hardcore. Slaying specifics: Just last night, Rihanna stepped/strutted out of the perma-trendy celeb hotspot known as SoHo's Mercer Kitchen, all the while clad in a 2Pac off-the-shoulders, oversized vintage tee. It was paired with a leather jacket, form-fitting leather pants, leather sneakers and a massive bag. But aptly twas the seriously lengthy locs that everyone is still Tweeting about/losing their damn minds over. #SAME

Rihanna Rocking Beautiful Dreads in NYCGetty Images

We can all agree that the no-fucks-given "Kiss It Better" singer has gifted our eyes/given us many a goose-bump for years and years via her killer style and slew of beauty reinventions. (Madonna, who? JK!) I mean, who else can switch one's sartorial-slaying shit up from majorly over-priced street wear and scandalous S&M-inspired numbers to designer-clad elegance and that fantastic "ghetto gothic" era. (Not one soul.) Oh, there's also her recent rocking of a Halloween/Valentine's Day-friendly enormous fox fur heart during a night on the town. She also, gasp, wore its zaniness in the morning. (We love a celeb who doesn't follow the "you can only wear it once" silly rule.)

Bad Gal RiRi's Dreads are EVERYTHING!Getty Images

Back to the gorgeous dreads. It's important to note that the Barbadian beauty Instagrammed the locks with a "buffalo $oldier" caption. That'd be a reference to Bob Marley's song of the same name, which brings us to believe that this is a political beauty statement. Reminder: that recent and messy "Should dreadlocks be banned in the workplace?" debate. (Answer: hell no. Also, who ARE you vile people?!) So, yep x1000, the 2014 apt recipient of CFDA's Style Icon trophy has just made us respect and live for her iconic, fearless self even more. In short: Badgal RiRi is our kind of pop star. #NeverChange


PS This wasn't Rihanna's first dreads moment...!

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Watch Viral YouTube Comedian Drew Droege Bring Chloë Sevigny to a Haunted House

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It has recently come to our attention/delight that comedian/national treasure/YouTube viral star, Drew Droege, has triumphantly returned with his iconic/hysterical embodiment of forever the alt queen, Chloë Sevigny. If you aren't familiar with the amazingness, get on with it/WTF is wrong with you?! (Hi, his debut video, "Birthdays," boasts over 600K views.) In Drew's latest sure-to-soon-be viral video, "Haunted House," he kicks things off with the "Good evening, America" signature intro. In other words, put down the Xanax, as the aforementioned three magic words will surely brighten one's darkest of days. Without it, it'd be like Wendy Williams sans her perpetual "How You Doin'?" AKA it'd be a downright bloody mess.

Let's keep it moving. Chloë's version of a haunted house translates to identity theft, being forced to watch The English Patient, and seeing "a fully realized Nordstrom rack," amongst other travesties. We have to say that those are pretty mild frights compared to these terrors which we 100% share with Chloë. You know, like, sampling "the mildest of mayonnaises, unactivated almonds, and a popped tart" in a VIP tasting suite. The horror! Also, if you survive that madness, throw on your chicest armor in preparation for the assault of all assaults -- AKA a psychotic onslaught of "amateur art." (Speaking of art, the psychedelic backdrops are every f'n thing. Also, the exploding Chloë/kittens, the Sharknado-ish attack, and the "it's raining eggs" moment.) Spooky spoiler alert: the biggest scare of them all is definitely the blink-and-you'll-miss-it-Chloë-morphing-into-Ann fucking-Coulter maniacal moment. *Hides under the covers for all eternity* As Chloë herself says it/pronounces it, obviously with perfectly executed pretentiousness, "Happy howl-ting."

Take a ghoulish gander yourself, and thank us later.

PS. Who's dressing up as Drew's tweed-clad Chloe Sevs this Halloween? (Answer: me.)

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