Taylor Swift is more than just a pop superstar; she is a modern Jezebel.
If the term is new to you, it refers to a character in the Bible who was a little bit naughty.
Here's a description:
Guided by no principle, restrained by no fear of either God or man, passionate in her attachment to her heathen worship, she spared no pains to maintain idolatry around her in all its splendor.
The idolatry, too, was of the most debased and sensual kind
Today, the term Jezebel refers to a crafty, shameless woman who deceives people to get what she wants.
Taylor's reputation as a Jezebel is as significant as her artistic output: She wouldn't be Taylor Swift without all the feuds, branding, and boyfriends.
Especially the boyfriends!
The boyfriends run the gamut from fairly innocent cutie-pies to obnoxious ab-flaunting Lothario cutie-pies.
Some may look the same but each one is different, like a snowflake.
Many have been immortalized in Taylor's songs, an honor that surely all her suitors now expect on the first date.
Many have pointed out that it's more than a little sexist to criticize Taylor's serial romances. When men rack up a long string of conquests, they're congratulated for it, not shamed.
And those who would shame Taylor for the swath she has cut through the world's most eligible and newsworthy young men are just mean. In fact, they are haters. Who are gonna hate, hate, hate.
We have come not to slut-shame Taylor, but to praise her.
Who among us has not written an ode to a faithless ex-boyfriend?
Okay, not an ode, but a journal entry or a Facebook rant or a text message?
I myself once wrote a long screed to a guy who dumped me, comparing him to a horse and advising him to get plastic surgery. He threatened to publish it or something but that's a story for another day!
Let's review Taylor's many Ex's, and the songs they inspired. May she go on to document each kiss or disappointment for many years to come.
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Jordan Alford
Picture To Burn
A high school boyfriend of Taylor's who dumped her for he one of her friends! Yes, he started it all! All's well that ends well though, as Jordan went on to marry the girl he left Swift for, and we all know what happened to Taylor.
Drew Hardwick
Teardrops On My Guitar
Taylor didn't actually date Hardwick—she had a crush on him in high school and wrote a song about it. Apparently when he found out the song was about him, he asked if he still had a shot with her. Errrr....NO!
Brandon Borello
Song: "Tim McGraw", "Our Song", "Fifteen"
Brandon was Taylor's high school sweetheart and their relationship ended when he had to go to college. She wrote Tim McGraw as something for him to remember her by, and apparently he loved it.
Sam Armstrong
Should've Said No
Another boyfriend who cheated on Taylor, only for her to get her revenge musically. In the CD booklet, every S, A and M was capitalized in the correct order. Scary!
Martin Johnson
Love Story, White Horse, If This Was A Movie
This was a shortlived relationship, an apparently Swift fell hard for Johnson, lead singer of Boys Like Girls. Apparently though, TayTay's publicists didn't feel he fitted in with her image.
Joe Jonas
Forever & Always, Jump Then Fall, Today Was A Fairytale, Better Than Revenge, Last Kiss, Holy Ground
Joe provided a whole ton of inspiration for Swift—it's actually a wonder she had any time to spend with him during their relationship she was so busy scribbling notes.
Taylor Lautner
Back To December
Taylor Squared started dating after meeting on the movie Valentines Day and he was way way more into her than she was him. The song is an apology for dumping him.
John Mayer
Dear John, The Story of Us, Superman, I Knew You Were Trouble
Notorious womanizer Mayer provided no end of inspiration for Swift.
Cory Monteith
Mine
The official line is that Taylor and Cory never dated but that she just wondered what it would be like to be with him. Creepy much?
Jake Gyllenhaal
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, State of Grace, All Too Well, Girl At Home, The Moment I Knew
Famed for his dislike of any invasion of his privacy, you can understand why that maybe didn't fit in with Taylor's tendency to stage manage her relationships. They broke up a couple of time and Swift let the world know why with this song.
Conor Kennedy
Begin Again, Everything Has Changed, Starlight
Taylor wrote this when she started Kennedy after a really bad relationship—seems like her romantic side hadn't died.
Harry Styles
Style, Out Of The Woods
One Direction star Styles and Taylor had a brief and rock relationship that was played out mostly in the media spotlight.
Calvin Harris
This Is What You Came For
This is actually a Calvin Harris track that Swift wrote. But she kept that to herself until they broke up and then tried to embarrass him.
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