Swipe till your fingers go numb.
While hook-ups among athletes at the games are nothing new, the use of Tinder has made it easier to expend that extra energy during down time.
In fact, Tinder matches in the Olympic Village increased by 129 percent over the weekend, the company reported.
You can currently find Tinder profiles from athletes of nearly every sport, with photos and updates like "Got plenty of time to kill," or "Looking for fun in Rio!" (Try to hear these dumb phrases in a romantic foreign accent.)
The 2016 summer games are the perfect environment for hook-ups, with ten thousand athletes crammed into a 31-building compound. The tensions of competing combined with adrenaline makes for a large market of would-be dates. A Swedish athlete told
AP reporters that he got ten Tinder matches on his first day at the village.
Olympic organizers are aware that sexy time will be a priority, providing 450,000 condoms for the athletes.
That's around 42 condoms per athlete.
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Isn't it wonderful how healthy and fit these competitors are? Just think of the testosterone!
Of course, we mustn't be sexist. I'm sure plenty of the female athletes are swiping right like nobody's business.
However, let's focus on the men, because I want to. Imagine the luxury of hooking up with gymnasts, swimmers, soccer players and fencers?
While there is tight security around the Olympics, the various countries' committees seem to tacitly approve the use of Tinder. Some are content with a 'Don't ask, Don't tell policy'.
So, you want to see those profiles, not out of prurient interest but just out of curiosity. But you're too cheap to pay the $10 to search outside your geographic region.
Just browse the photos at SportSwipe on Instagram.
We need this on pay-per-view.
A witness and exhibit list filed by Heard's lawyer on Monday cites purported evidence that Johnny Depp was abusive to Heard throughout their marriage.
Heard is seeking a permanent restraining order against Depp.
Meanwhile, Depp's lawyers have submitted a list of almost two dozen witnesses to back up his claim that Heard is lying about domestic abuse.
Why can't we have this battle on pay-per-view? The proceeds could go to either a charity for abuse victims or a PSA warning against marrying gold-diggers. Or both!
Amber's evidence includes photos of injuries she sustained before she filed for divorce, medical records relating to a prior incident of domestic violence, and, mysteriously, a photo 'of Petitioner holding pills in hand on August 19, 2014.'
Her witnesses include two close friends and a psychologist who will testify about 'characteristics and traits of victims of domestic violence.'
But Depp is locked and loaded for trial, according to TMZ.
Depp's witnesses include the 2 responding officers from the night Amber says Johnny attacked her. Both will testify they saw no evidence of injury nor was anything broken in the loft. Two security guards at the unit will also testify that Depp didn't strike Heard.
The housekeeper will testify, as will Amber's publicist, both of whom will presumably support Depp's claim of innocence.
Exhibits in Depp's defense will include Amber's arrest record for domestic violence against her girlfriend back in 2009, and records about the Australian dog smuggling case. (Don't ask.)
Most exciting of all these tidbits is a SECRET PHOTO that Depp's lawyers will reveal in court. Legal docs explain:
For privacy reasons, this exhibit is being served on petitioners [Amber and team] and will be supplied to the court at the time of hearing.
Ooooh, please, we need to see this! What kind of photo would prove Amber is lying? A picture of her beating up Johnny?
Admit you're excited.
Either he's a violent drug addict or she's a scheming gold digger. But the moral remains: Get A Fucking Prenup!
READ MORE ABOUT AMBER HEARD AND JOHNNY DEPP
Does body-acceptance apply above the neck?
She narrated an entire waxing appointment, blaming her mustache on her ethnicity:
This is the real beauty, you guys. This is what happens when you're half Jewish, half Italian!
It's nice that Lea feels so confident about revealing her beauty rituals, but to some, her efforts might signify a reaction to strict male ideas about feminine appeal.
Why does she have to wax her mustaches and eyebrows to feel acceptable?
In an interview with Women's Health UK, Lea says:
I'm not trying to represent myself as being some perfect girl, but I love myself, flaws and all.
On the other hand, she is happy to endure the pain of waxing, informing her Snapchat viewers that waxing her thick brows was going to hurt, 'really bad.'
What would happen if Lea decided not to suffer for a hair-free face?
If she had a hormonal condition like 25 year old Haraam Kaur, she would sprout a full mustache and beard.
Haraam challenges stereotypes of female beauty by embracing her natural appearance.
With more than 60,000 followers on Instagram, Haraam presents a unique look that celebrates diversity. The more you get accustomed to her face, the more you find you can tolerate female facial hair. With lipstick and eye-liner, she is not only glamorous but a true beauty.
It's the rare woman who would leave any visible facial hair alone. In our current culture, overall hairlessness is a must for most women, who don't dare risk offending men with anything less than waxed, baby-smooth perfection.
Will we raise our daughters to pluck and wax their faces, even as we spout off about body-acceptance and diversity?
What about those hairy Jews and Italians?
Oy, mama mia!
Unfortunately, the more things change, the more they stay the same, especially with female mustaches.
READ MORE ABOUT LEA MICHELE