After the craziest season known to mankind, we have reached the end of Vanderpump Rules—for now.
Lisa Vanderpump gathered her gang of minions for a 50s themed photo shoot to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of SUR.
Everyone was in attendance, minus the resident Looney tune, Kristen Doute. Despite her absence, home girl made sure to make her presence known.
Stassi Schroeder was also not present for the shoot. As we saw this season, Stassi essentially secluded herself from anyone that wears an apron at SUR. She wanted nothing to do with all of her former friends, including her bestie, Katie Maloney.
Stassi had a bitch fit when she got wind that Katie took a trip to Miami to celebrate Scheana Marie’s bachelorette party. Stassi felt betrayed and in typical fashion made the whole situation about her. Katie, on the other hand, decided to bury the hatchet with everyone, which royally pissed off Queen Stassi.
At the photo shoot, Scheana asked Katie about where she currently stood with Stassi. She thought things would have gotten better between them after Scheana’s wedding, but they hadn’t. Katie firmly believes that she isn’t in the wrong and that Stassi needs to stop being a selfish bitch. We’re with ya on that one, Katie.
Kristen spent 99.9% of this season talking and obsessing over Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix’s relationship. It was her own personal mission to bring his alleged cheating scandal to light. And honey, she stopped at nothing to do so.
She officially proved she needs to be medicated when she brought the Miami whore to SUR to confront him. He swore up and down that nothing happened and Ariana believed him. Kristen, however, was like a fly on shit and wasn’t letting this go. She claimed all season that Jax Taylor admitted to her, on several occasions, that he knows that Tom cheated.
Jax, who is quite possibly one of the dumbest humans to ever touch foot on this planet, is a pathological liar and says shit literally just to say it. Everyone knows that he talks out of his ass and changes his mind on things like the fucking weather, but Kristen was hell bent that him revealing the truth was the missing puzzle piece in order to bring Sandoval down.
Last week, Jax told the gang at dinner that Tom 100% cheated on Ariana in Miami. Flash-forward to the photo shoot, Scheana pulled Tom aside to discuss what went down with Jax at dinner. She told him that Jax admitted to the rumor being true. Tom said he shouldn’t have to defend himself about this anymore. Scheana then went to Ariana to reveal the same information.
Ariana has made it clear all season that she isn’t picking up what Kristen is putting down. She thinks it is all a scheme put together by Kristen because her obsession with Tom is still very much alive and kicking. Scheana told her what Jax said. Ariana, who looked less than enthused, stopped Scheana in her tracks. Scheana said she wouldn’t bring it up ever again.
While the rest of gang was at the SUR photo shoot, Tom Schwartz spent his time with a therapist. As you may recall, Schwartz worked at PUMP for a total of ten minutes before he was fired. In addition, he hasn’t had the greatest track record with his girlfriend this season either. He admitted to cheating on Katie twice. She was devastated, of course, but gave him a chance to salvage their relationship.
Katie has been adamant about wanting to get married—and Scheana’s wedding surely didn’t help. He gave her a pathetic ring on a string (seriously, Schwartz?!) and thought that would buy him some time before he had to put the real ring on it. He talked to the therapist about his commitment issues, but made it clear that he has no doubt that Katie is “the one”.
Ya know, the one he loves but isn’t ever gonna marry.
Tom pulled Jax aside to ask him about what he said at dinner. In typical Jax fashion, he denied ever saying anything. It’s amazing how he always has amnesia, right? He has spent this entire season running in circles because of the shit that comes out of his mouth. Sandoval is fed up and rightfully so. The kid, and by kid I mean 35-year-old grown man, claims to be his best friend, but will throw Sandoval under the bus any chance he can. Ariana came over mid conversation and asked Jax what the deal was. Jax ran like the fucking wind.
Stassi met Lisa Vanderpump at SUR. Lisa had asked Stassi to style the photo shoot, but Stassi felt she’d be hypocritical if she did it. Lisa pleaded with Stassi to come to the SUR party. Stassi, who would never say no to open bar (and who would really?) agreed to go. She also asked that she speak to Katie and make things right. Unfortunately, Lisa hasn’t learned that arguing with Stassi is like arguing with a brick wall. Actually, a conversation with a brick wall would be more fulfilling than a conversation with Stassi.
Meanwhile, it’s finally the anniversary party and everyone has arrived—including Kristen. I mean, the chick literally has no friends and got fired from the restaurant the party is being held at, yet she still shows up. Kudos to her. James Kennedy asked her to please give up her obsession with Tom after the party. LOL. That’s like asking the Half Ton Teen to stop eating.
Stassi showed up and it was awkward as hell. She asked Katie to talk and I immediately wanted to shove shards of glass in my eyes because of how awkward it was.
Stassi basically wanted Katie to get on her knees and beg to be her friend again—and it wasn’t happening. Stassi thinks that Katie is now kissing Scheana’s ass. If you haven’t learned by now, if you’re kissing anyone else’s ass but her’s, she wants no parts of you.
Katie stood her ground and called her a selfish bitch, which needed to be done. They have spent the past three seasons talking shit on Stassi, but never said any of it to her face. Stassi got backed into a corner and fled the scene. She thinks she’s above everyone and would rather have her pride than some friends. So, Stassi walked off into the sunset (and by sunset I mean a dark alley on Robertson Boulevard, but you catch my drift). The bitch is gone.
Sandoval pulled Jax aside for the 100th time to ask him about the cheating rumors. Once again, Jax was suffering from major head trauma and couldn’t remember saying a damn thing. Kristen came outside and joined in on the conversation. She, of course, swore up and down that Jax admitted to this.
Side note—I pray to the gods above that she watches this season back and see just how truly psychotic it is. The obsession she has with Tom Sandoval’s life is a full time job, which is perfect because she got fired from her other job.
Sandoval screamed at her and told her to leave him the fuck alone and she stormed off. She went back into SUR and approached Ariana. She told her that she’s done everything she can do and wished her good luck. Let it be known that Kristen Doute is SUR’s resident Mother Theresa.
Sandoval came back in and sat next to Ariana. He apologized for Kristen’s bullshit antics and proclaimed his love for Ariana. He even asked her to move in with him. We’re Team Tom & Ariana all the way. Can we get a t-shirt with the hashtag?
Finally, Jax left the party….alone.
He wandered the parking lot only to find that his truck was towed. That was truly the most amazing end to the most ridiculous season of Vanderpump Rules.
About a year after being accused of selling furniture to ICE detention centers, e-commerce site Wayfair is in another controversy.
Wayfair, the e-commerce website beloved by millennials on a budget who don't want their apartments to look just like IKEA showrooms, is no stranger to controversy.
Last summer, employees of the company organized a protest after allegations surfaced that Wayfair had sold $200,000 worth of furniture to border detention facilities. Now, Wayfair is being suspected of trafficking missing children in their furniture.
A vibrant summer earworm.
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Krewella & Yellow Claw - Rewind (Official Music Video) youtu.be
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