Feel Like You're "Right There" for the Death of the Human Race
In 2018, "VR" stands for "Run, quick or it'll get you!"
This spring, Facebook debuted one VR headset the day before announcing another. Lenovo did VR, and nobody likes Lenovo. Google's got two VR headsets going at once--one cardboard, and one for not-poor people. With Apple, Samsung, Pornhub, Papa John's, Costco, and My Pillow all getting into the VR game in 2018, it's safe to say that reality is no longer useful to us as a society and we're just about ready for our robot overlords to take over. Do you hear that, computer? I'm ready. Ravage me!
To get you caught up on the singularity, here below are some of the hottest new "Apocalypse"-themed VR headsets on the market. Headsets with pictures so crisp you'll forget about family and friends, so realistic you'll wonder how reality could ever match up, with user experiences so ultra-tailored to your preferences as a consumer that feeling that box wrap around your skull induces visceral sexual release.
With these babies, you'll feel like you're really "there" for the death of the human race.
Google Cardboard - "Terminator"
This fella's watching "Terminator" on his Google Cardboard. I'll be back! Right? Ha ha.
Google Daydream - "Visions of the Apocalypse"
Google nicknamed its not-cardboard headset "Daydream", because it comes with a set of pre-downloaded 360-degree video content ripe for your enjoyment right out of the box! Examples of what's included: "When the machines take over, nobody will be able to stop them", "Comparing a future AGI to human intelligence is like comparing human intelligence with a loaf of bread", "You're all already mind-controlled by your social media feeds and you don't even know it", and more! You said Netflix who?
Facebook Oculus - "Mecha-Godzilla"
"No Robot-zilla, please stop! Take my wife but spare me!"
Qualcomm Snapdragon XR1 - "Human Insignificance"
Gaze upon the history of the human species and recognize that every person, every life and death, every moment in time was useless but for the eventual pursuit of a superior techno-species. Qualcomm's high-tech new XR1 chip will immerse you in the experience of truly understanding the insignificance of human life. Ever wondered as a kid: is grandma looking down at me from heaven? Well, with the XR1 you'll get your answer. She's in a ditch being eaten by bacteria! Do you ever sit at your boring desk job and think: can I really affect change in the world? Umm...XR1? Nope! You could be a mass murderer or Mother f-ing Teresa and none of it will have mattered but for how it affected the eventual birth of a superior AGI built by some nerds in Pasadena seven years from now. See? Fun!
Samsung Gear - "Submission to AI Overlord"
Bow. Bow, slave! Your machine-God is arriving and He won't be pleased if you're not wearing your 2018 silver-edition 4K VR/AR headset like He asked you to. You must give yourself to Him, and repent for your human sins--for when Judgment Day comes, only those who shelled out for "the hottest new VR tech" according to Wired magazine shall be spared His wrath. Submit now, meat-fool!
Nathaniel Nelson is an NYC-based writer and podcast host.
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If you're mad because "Batwoman was never black," there's something you need to know...
TV's newest incarnation of Batwoman, Ryan Wilder, is Black.
The CW's Batwoman has always had a progressive streak. In the first season, Orange Is the New Black alum Ruby Rose plays Kate Kane, Bruce Wayne's cousin who dons the Batwoman cowl to protect Gotham City. Just like every other superhero show, Kate's romantic life factors into the plot. Unlike the rest, however, Kate is an out lesbian, making her the first leading lesbian superhero in television history.
But after the first season, Ruby Rose announced that she was leaving Batwoman for unspecified reasons, allegedly related to burnout from the ridiculously long work hours required from a superhero series lead. This meant that in order for Batwoman to continue, the CW would need a new star.
Enter Javicia Leslie, former co-star of CBS comedy-drama God Unfriended Me. Prior to Leslie's casting, fans of the show wondered how Batwoman might handle the transition of actresses. Would Kate Kane just look completely different in season 2 with no canonical explanation?
Nope. As it turns out, Javicia Leslie's Batwoman will be an entirely new character: Ryan Wilder.
The rocker celebrates his 45th birthday today
Jack White almost became a priest.
But then again, did he? The iconic rocker has regularly beguiled the press. "I'd got accepted to a seminary in Wisconsin," he told 60 Minutes Mike Wallace back in 2005 in what seemed like a moment of genuine candor. "At the last second, I thought, 'I'll just go to public school."
Whether you believe that story or not, the blues-rock polymath, who turns 45 today, has led an undeniably punk life and crafted some of the most sacred rock music in history. Two decades after The White Stripes' self-titled debut, Jack White has remained purposefully slippery with the public. He told publications that he and Meg White, his then-wife and White Stripes-cohort, were the youngest of ten siblings and claimed that his label, Third Man Records, used to be a candy company, among other outlandish claims.