Walmart Man Stuffs Trout In Pants—Distracts Attention By Peeing On Floor

Man Walmart Trout In Pants

A Tennessee man faces charges after he peed over the floor in a Walmart whilst simultaneously trying to hide a packet of trout in his pants according to an arrest warrant.

56 year old David Wylie of Clarksville (who surely arrived on the last train) was arrested last week after staff called the cops when they saw him unable to hold it in near the alcohol section and spraying all over the floor.  Maybe he intended the pissing to be a distraction from his real crime of shoplifting fish, as he was stuffing trout into his pants at the same time (who said men can't multi-task?). He then attempted to leave the store without paying for the item.

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Man knows the law

When questioned, Wylie admitted to peeing but told cops he "was not concerned because it was a misdemeanor".

Not helping his case much, the suspect then told police he had been drinking and repeated that he wasn't remotely worried about being cited for theft or public indecency because he knew they were both misdemeanors.

Stripper Shoplifter Bit Off Walmart Worker’s Finger

The arresting officer said;

"Wylie's statements as well as the detection of alcohol led me to believe that the offenses were likely to continue."

So the cop booked him for vandalism, shoplifting, indecent exposure and public intoxication. The value of the trout was $130 (boy is that a lot of trout!) and the vandalism was judged to be just $10.

Wylie was sent to Montgomery County Jail on $2000 bail, the trout was returned to the shelves.*

Man Walmart Trout In Pants

Man Walmart Trout In Pants

*KIDDING!

Man Walmart Trout In Pants

 

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