Readers! You've just been shown up by a 9-year-old kid, and for all we know, you were shown up before you were born. His name is Robert Jeffrey, and he's a sensation of childhood glee and awesome early-'90s production values, not to mention a sensation of today's Internet viral-video landscape. Watch below:

ME AT NINE, PERFORMING TO MADONNA IN SUMMER '91! from Robert Jeffrey on Vimeo.

It's like witnessing some kind of embryonic YouTube, except with less source code and more awesomeness. Even better: There's no need for the usually inevitable weekend-long "who is this kid? Where is he now???" spree. He's already explained that, and more:

I performed to MADONNA's "VOGUE" in the Summer of 1991 when my parents took me to Hampton Beach Casino in Hampton Beach, New Hampshire. A business in the casino at the time gave tourists the chance to lip-synch to their favorite pop songs in front of a blue screen background, and I was lucky enough to partake that summer.

In honor of the twentieth anniversary of MADONNA's "TRUTH OR DARE" and in celebration of MADONNA's upcoming "W.E.", here is my nine year old self paying tribute to the woman who changed my life and continues to inspire me just as much today as twenty years ago.

As far as what Jeffrey's doing now? Screenwriting and supplying YouTube with a lot of vintage Bette Davis. Noble pursuits, both! Just perhaps not as danceworthy. Now go do some "Vogue" yourself. It's Friday, everyone'll understand.