As ten years' time has taught us, Mariah Carey is capable of some interesting television. HSN isn't always capable of interesting television, unless you're interested in slowly draining your bank account over the phone. The problem is, Mariah Carey's capable of lengthy television, two late-night hours in this case, but never fear: the Internet--specifically, Matt Cherette of Gawker--has made her appearance safe for your attention span with a four-minute cut! Hear her go on about her nail-care regimen and the jewelry items she wears as tiaras, mention how hot it (still) is in New York, lament how drama follows her everywhere, sound off on her pregnancy and give clothing models the camera-facilitated once-over.

In the midst of all this rapid-fire rambling, she does manage to maybe sell some stuff, but it's much more likely that people were just endeared out of their funds than that they actually wanted some rhinestone butterfly lollipop glitz earrings (or whatever the brand name was; we forgot, but it had at least one of those nouns.) Can you retain more of this in your memory than we did?