Before Blake Lively was a Gossip Girl, and Megan Fox pissed off everyone in Hollywood—and long before Justin Bieber turned into a monstrosity of a douche bag, they were all just a bunch of losers trying to get a break...auditioning for crappy parts in crappy TV shows and movies...
But, no one suffered quite as much humiliation as Chris Klein, whose audition is so epically bad it kinda makes me wanna snuggle him against my heaving bosom and tell him everything is going to be okay.
Meanwhile, that Mandy Moore is a whore....Just kidding. I’m just jealous. Plus Moore and whore rhyme,s so it’s kinda fun to say out loud.
Popdust gives you ten make or break moments from your favorite famous faces.
Chris Klein: Mama Mia
Let's kick it off with the most epic audition fail since William Hung. By Chris' own admission, this was a "dreadful audition," but we hope Mandy Moore (fucking whore—it rhymes...it rhymes!!) threw him a bone after the fact.
Emma Stone: Easy A
They say a lot of actresses sleep their way to the top. Never has that clearly been more true than for Emma Stone, who didn't even get out of bed and still managed to win the part of Olivia—the lovable faux slut in Easy A....
Justin Bieber: Bum F*$& Talent Show
We're not sure if Justin Bieber is dancing or if he has to pee, but the fact that he keeps grabbing his stomach strongly suggests the latter. We're also not sure how the fuck he became a mega star, considering without auto-tune, he sounds like an injured cockatiel. But we're pretty sure this after the camera went off, Bieber was egged by an angry and disappointed crowd of Canadians, which is probably how he got the idea to pay it forward 7 years later.
Natalie Portman: The Professional
Natalie Portman kinda sucked in this audition. Sure, she was only 12, but check out the 11-year-old Scar-Jo below. She rocked it. Portman then went on to totally suck in Star Wars, before ultimately redeeming herself in Black Swan.
Scarlett Johansson: Jumanji
Scarlett's greatest fear is cockroaches. Once she woke up with one on her face, which is weird 'cuz one time I dreamed she woke up with my balls on her face.
Megan Fox: Transformers
Casting directors were told to find the most gorgeous 18-year-old there was. Enter Megan Fox. Director Michael Bay then reportedly asked her if she could run and if she had a nice stomach, and, well, that was pretty much it.
Blake Lively: Gossip Girl
Did you know that Aaron Paul was only supposed to be on Breaking Bad for one solitary season, but he was so effing awesome that producers re-constituted the whole show to accommodate his awesomeness for all 5 seasons? See a genius in the making.
Miley Cyrus: Hannah Montana
A then 12-year-old Miley actually came up with the Hannah Montana moniker, “after I got the part as a unknown character, I had another interview with Disney Channel about the show’s name,” she told Teen Scoop blog. “They were set and ready to use ‘Alexis Texas’ and I didn’t like it. I don’t know why, but it just wasn’t it. So late this one night, I was reading OK! magazine. And I came across the name ‘Hannah,’ and I really like that name. Then right when I turned the page, there was an article about Montana. And I was like ‘Hannah Montana! That’s it!’ ”
Rachel McAdams: The Notebook
A 25 year-old McAdams knocks it out of the park in this audition, making casting directors want all of her forever. Or at least until the wrap party.