Nichole Reed, 30, confessed to police that she stuffed seven lobster tails down her pants at Publix super market in Orange City, Florida in the hopes of trading them in for Chinese food or drugs.
But her heist backfired when a security officer kiboshed what would have otherwise been the perfect plan.
The po po were able to track down Reed and her loot, valued at a whopping $11.99, and charge her with petty theft.
"Reed stated she entered the store with the intent to steal food,'' reads the police report obtained by the Orlando Sentinel. "Reed told me she was going to trade the lobster tails to a friend and possibly buy Chinese buffet or Dilaudid."