Culture Feature

7 Times Ryan Reynolds Proved That He's Too Good to Be True

The teddy bear reward is just Ryan Reynolds' latest good deed...but it conceals a dark terrible secret. Scroll to the end to earn the truth.

Photo by George Pimentel/Shutterstock

There's something not quite right about Ryan Reynolds...

It's not his strong jawline, his muscled figure, his quick, self-deprecating wit, or even his singing voice. Those are all pretty great. No, it's the fact that he has all of those things, and also seems to be a loving husband and father who is passionate about helping others and the planet. Like... pick a lane, dude.

He can't be 2010's People's sexiest man alive, and also be a comic book nerd who makes his nerd-dream come true, and also an avid environmentalist, and also a successful entrepreneur, and also one of the funniest actors in Hollywood, with a beautiful family, and Hugh Jackman for a side piece. He can't. It's too many things, and if it doesn't stop soon, we will have no choice but to dig around until we discover the dark, terrible secret that he must be concealing.

Because no one is that good. No handsome, successful, clever man who isn't trying to hide something would do all that. He's too good to be true. Just look at...

Keep ReadingShow less
CULTURE

Meet the Failed Humans Pretending Bullied 9-Year-Old Quaden Bayles Is an 18-Year-Old Scam Artist

Facts can't stop the absolute scum of the Internet from coming after a nine-year-old, and oh man, they're coming at him hard.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

*Trigger warning: suicide-related content*

In a heartbreaking video out of Brisbane, Australia, mother Yarraka Bayles filmed her nine-year-old son, Quaden, experiencing a suicidal breakdown after a bullying incident at school.

Keep ReadingShow less
CULTURE

Robert Pattinson Can't Be "The Most Handsome Man in the World"

That concept is nonsense—and also, it's Jason Momoa.

Photo by Richard Shotwell/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Keep ReadingShow less
CULTURE

Can Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds Just Kiss Already?

They can joke all they want, but we all see the way they look at each other

Hugh Jackman Montblanc MB 01 Smart Headphones & Summit 2+ Launch Party, New York, USA - 10 Mar 2020

Photo by Kristin Callahan/ACE Pictures/Shutterstock

They say that shared trauma binds people together.

So perhaps it was the experience of filming the mess that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine that cemented the strange, sexually charged bond between Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds. Certainly Reynolds' appearance in that film as a bafflingly mute version of Deadpool has become fodder for a lot of the comedic jabs between them.



Most recently their love/hate/lust relationship involved Jackman replacing Reynolds in a promotional image for Free Guy and an interview with Australia's Today in which Reynolds called Jackman "an evil person," and worse still, accused him of being Canadian. Whatever the original source of this electric energy, Reynolds and Jackman have been going after each other for years, like the kid on the playground tugging pigtails as an expression of love—except that there are two of them, chasing each other in circles.



Their flirt-feud first came to the attention of the general public in 2015, during the filming of Deadpool. In a post on Jackman's Instagram, Reynolds appeared in full Deadpool makeup and put on a flimsy Australian accent. Claiming to be Jackman, he asked the public to vote for him for People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive." Jackman and Reynolds had both already been picked for that honor—Jackman in 2008, Reynolds in 2010—as heavily referenced within the Deadpool films themselves. But the suggestion that Jackman was eagerly seeking to reprise that title—and also that his face is a horrific mass of scar tissue—became the first comedic jab in a back-and-forth that has continued to this day.


From a fake truce involving commercials for each other's brands to a political attack ad and a complex, deeply sexual bromance-triangle with Jake Gyllenhaal, Jackman and Reynolds clearly want to be the sexiest men alive all over each other. But for some reason, they seem to be permanently stuck in the middle part of the rom-com where they tease each other lovingly, but aren't quite willing to acknowledge their true feelings. Stop holding back, guys!

Two ripped, charming dudes with killer jawlines should not be kept away from each other by society's expectations or, you know, committed, loving relationships with their wives. It's time for the world to call upon Blake and Debora-Lee to sanction this holy union. It's time for Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman to finally make out, and for the angels to rejoice.

TV

What Franchise Will "Game of Thrones" Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss Ruin Next?

What's next for the geniuses behind the "lady-folks and jocks" model of human interest?

D B Weiss and David Benioff

Joanne Davidson/Shutterstock

When I learned that Game of Thrones alum David Benioff co-wrote X-Men Origins: Wolverine–the movie that portrayed the 4th-wall-breaking antihero Deadpool as a skinhead with his mouth sewn shut–it made a lot of sense.

After all, Benioff and his GOT co-showrunner D.B. Weiss have a proven knack for treating beloved franchises like sh*t.

Finally breaking their silence after the overwhelmingly negative fan reception to the Game of Thrones series finale, Benioff & Weiss participated in a, quite frankly, baffling panel at Austin Film Festival. One Twitter user live-tweeted the discussion, wherein Benioff & Weiss almost seemed to brag about how inexperienced they were going into the project and how little respect they showed to the source material.

Highlights include Benioff & Weiss removing fantasy elements from the...you know...fantasy series in order to better appeal to "mothers" and "NFL players."


Then, right after revealing their ingenious "lady-folks and jocks" model of human interest, Benioff and Weiss abandoned the massive Star Wars project they were planning to helm in favor of their massive two million dollar deal at Netflix. But while this is certainly a boon for Star Wars fans, whose beloved franchise is now safe from the dull-blade hands of the two biggest hacks in Hollywood, it begs the question: What other franchises are now at risk of being destroyed by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss?

The Legend of Zelda

the legend of zeldaNintendo

There have long been rumors that beloved Nintendo franchise, The Legend of Zelda, will be adapted for Netflix by Castlevania producer Adi Shankar. And while not everyone loves the idea of Zelda getting turned into a TV show by anyone, Castlevania is an incredibly promising example of a great animated adaptation of a great video game franchise.

But the problem with rumors is that they're unconfirmed, so here's a worst case scenario that still exists within the distinct realm of possibility:

Netflix really is putting out a show based on The Legend of Zelda, but it's being run by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Worst of all, Benioff and Weiss subscribe to a particularly venomous brand of awful whereby their work initially seems great and competent, only to sh*t all over itself halfway through once you're already invested. In other words, Benioff and Weiss aim to truly waste your time, getting you excited and then crushing all your hopes and dreams with terrible writing and ridiculous plotting.

Their Zelda adaptation would probably follow Link and Zelda as they wage battle against the evil Ganondorf in order to save Hyrule. We'd spend the first half of the story experiencing Link and Zelda's growth as characters, juxtaposed with Ganondorf's descent into madness as he's built up into an unstoppable foe. Then, halfway through, Ganondorf would get anticlimactically murdered by Tingle, who would then become the God-Emperor of Hyrule, much to everyone's chagrin. The next four seasons would follow Tingle as he romances Epona the horse and opens a pie shop. Benioff and Weiss would probably think this was a good idea, because there are too many Zelda games for them to properly draw themes from, and "a man in spandex having sex with a horse" would probably really speak to them on a visceral level.

Naruto

NarutoShueisha


In a lot of ways, the beloved anime/manga series Naruto is right up Benioff and Weiss' alley: It's an epic saga spanning many years (and even generations), it has a rich lore full of deep characters and tactical battles, and best of all, Naruto is full of things that, if done incorrectly, could turn the story into an absolute trainwreck––the ol' Benioff and Weiss specialty.

In their version of Naruto, just like in the original, we would meet our plucky ninja hero as a young boy. The first season would follow him through Ninja school and his first few missions, his rivalry with Sasuke, his unrequited love for Sakura, and finally his confrontation with the mysterious killer assassin Zabuza and the real world of ninjas––a world full of violence and bloodshed.

Except in the Benioff and Weiss telling, subsequent seasons would shift perspective to a singing ninja (a bard, if you will) played by Ed Sheeran, who travels the ninja world showing his genitals to townsfolk and sometimes using ninjutsu to molest the women. That would be it. No more Naruto becoming a ninja; this isn't about Naruto. What, the fans wanted Naruto? Sorry, this is meant to appeal to a more general audience, namely "sexual predators." Benioff and Weiss won't be reading the Internet comments either, because what the fans want doesn't matter and they'd rather not have their feelings hurt.

Star Wars

Darth Vader20th Century Fox

What if: PSYCHE! Benioff and Weiss really are coming back to Star Wars; they just made you think they weren't, so you wouldn't be mad.

Imagine it's time for the new Star Wars movie, and oh boy, you nerds better be prepared for some crazy lightsaber action. Benioff and Weiss' Star Wars introduces us to a brand new Sith Lord, Darth Phallus, who uses his evil force powers to forcibly have sex with Stormtroopers during every exposition scene. This is because Benioff and Weiss aren't very good writers, and they hope that watching Darth Phallus assault Stormtroopers will make their shoddy dialogue seem edgy or something. But it's not, and there are no battles. This is just three 2-hour movies dedicated to an unhinged man raping Stormtroppers. Eat your hearts out, Star Wars fans, Benioff and Weiss are back!

But for now, the pair have wisely stepped away to focus on their deal with Netflix. Beware.