Is The Franchise Really Back?
Okay let’s just start off by saying that I do unironically enjoy Love Island.I love the chaos, the characters, and shameless self-promotion. Every season, two people on average fall in love while the rest compete for screen time to land brand deals. Isn’t all drama better served in a British accent?
While The Bachelorreigned in my childhood, it certainly dwindled in popularity over the years. Riddled with recent scandals, I thought they would cancel it entirely. However, the recent popularity of Gerry Turner in The Golden Bachelor launched us back in the rose ceremony swing.
So, here I am, watching another insufferable television show for the sake of my readers. And what’s better than a little live-action commentary?
Here is everything I thought while watching The Bachelor.
This year’s Bachelor is Joey Graziadei, hailing from Royersford, PA. Apparently he’s the bee’s knees. Personally, my ideal man won’t simultaneously date 30 other women, but whatever — I can only hope he’s an Eagles fan.
@annashellabella Girls r down bad tonight #boston #postgrad #girlsnight #thebachelor ♬ original sound - smiski
We begin this episode with the lovely group date, which is wedding-themed. The girls are dressed to the nines in wedding gowns, and only one of them is going to fake marry Joey. This will go swimmingly, I’m sure. I can’t imagine anything more torturous than putting women who all share a boyfriend in wedding dresses.
Oh my goodness, they’re making them play musical chairs and already we have a girl launching herself, linebacker-style, across the table to get into a seat. The only thing holding her back was her dress. Seriously, NFL agents, you’re missing out if you don’t sign Evalin.
Now we have a cheesy, yet eloquent speech from Rachel, who is an ICU nurse. She also gets to dance with Joey. The camera people, ready to instigate drama, keep zooming in on the other brides who are mentally murdering her as she leans in for the kiss.
Seriously, they keep kissing in front of everyone. I don’t know what I expected. I am surprised Evalin isn’t throwing herself over the table by now…I would be.
I need to be honest: at this point in the episode, I still don’t know anyone’s name. All of these girls could be named Jess and Lauren and I’d believe you. I’m trying, but I grow weary with every minute.
I’ve learned that one-on-one time during a group date is the equivalent of a Hail Mary in football. You’ve got about 10 seconds left on the clock, you need to do something borderline insane to win the prize (Joey). If you’re not sharing your sob story, you’re going in for the kiss.
And Joey always has the right thing to say, doesn’t he? Either he’s the best person ever or he’s been programmed by AI technology by ABC. I wouldn’t be shocked by either.
Maria sitting Joey down, “changing into something more comfortable”, and going in for the kiss is awesome. Joey is living the American dream right now.
@daisyykent I didnt know what i expected but taking it all in as the show goes on & remebering to be kind to myself. Bc we can be our biggest critic #thebachelor #bachelornation #realitytv ♬ original sound - Daisy Kent
Now, we have the one-on-one with Daisy, where they get to go to a pseudo-music festival and dance onstage in front of the crowd. The best part is when they have to act like they know a single song by these artists. Give me “Things I Could Never Do In Front Of A Large Crowd” for 100, please.
In potentially the busiest episode in Bachelor history, there is a second group date. How is Joey not exhausted and, also, does he really know their names yet? More torture, the women have to compete in bootcamp and a paint battle. At least they got to see Joey shirtless for like one unnecessary second.
This show has me questioning the things I’d do to find love. But then again, I’d probably run through a paint battle course for Harry Styles.
Inevitably, a bunch of women of any age shouldn’t live in the same house together and date the same man. Drama is bound to ensue. According to some women, Madina (first time hearing her name) thinks Maria made ageist comments against her…this totally won’t come up before the dreaded Rose Ceremony.
….And there it is. They’re all fighting the most ridiculous battle: did Maria call Madina an old hag who will never be loved by Joey or not?! Even Maria says this is dumb. I agree. I think everyone’s just bored at this point…including myself?
In the midst of it all, Lauren (who is here with her sister, no comment), declares she is leaving and she does not want to even speak to Joey because she’s in a bad mood. Poor Joey is apologizing for anything he’s done…and she’s throwing a fit because the cake she ordered was not red velvet? Wait, I need her gone, I’m getting anxious.
Honestly, everyone has gotten really invested in the matter of one episode. This is my level of delusion as well, so I can’t even judge them. Joey even says this is the first week of dating and we have girls clawing up the walls already.
To quote Madina, “This has been, like, emotionally taxing with everything that’s going on,”...I need a glass of wine after this.
New Taylor, snubs everywhere, and lots of outfits
The 66th annual Grammy Awards were last night at the Crypto.com Arena in the not-so-sunny Los Angeles, California. As storms raged outside the arena, I tuned in for close to five hours of red carpet coverage and the sparkling ceremony to watch music's biggest night and make my own judgments.
At some points agonizing, the Grammys truly take their time. Packing performance after performance, people going well over their speech time, and leaving the main awards for the very end can feel never-ending. However, this year's Grammy Awards had everything: Taylor Swift announcing a brand new album, Tortured Poet's Department, Miley Cyrus getting her first two Grammy's and delivering iconic speeches and performances, nods to Barbie, a visit from Celine Dion and a few controversial decisions.
I mean, even Jay-Z took a shot at the Recording Academy for not giving Beyonce any Album of the Year awards despite having the most nominations. Taylor Swift brought Lana Del Rey on stage while accepting Album of the Year for Midnights to recognize how many artists' sounds Del Rey's influenced despite never having won a nomination. The Academy gets it wrong, and often.
Who Won At The 2024 Grammys?
Record of the Year: "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus
Album of the Year: Midnights by Taylor Swift
Song of the Year: "What Was I Made For" by Billie Eilish and FINNEAS
Best New Artist: Victoria Monet
Producer of the Year: Jack Antonoff
Best Pop Solo Performance: "Flowers" by Miley Cyrus
Best Pop Duo Performance: "Ghost in the Machine" by SZA and Phoebe Bridgers
Best Pop Vocal Album: Midnights by Taylor Swift
Best Pop Dance Recording: "Padam Padam" by Kylie Minogue
Best Rock Performance: "Not Strong Enough" by boygenius
Best Country Album: Bell Bottom Country by Lainey Wilson
Best R&B Song: "Snooze" by SZA
Who Should've Won At The 2024 Grammys?
The Grammy Awards are decided by the Academy- a group of voters within the music industry who I sometimes think forget to listen to the music of the nominees. It's why Jay-Z spoke up while receiving the Dr. Dre Global Impact Award, it is quite shocking that Beyonce has never won Album of the Year.
While everyone at the Grammy's deserves their awards, multiple artists got onstage to say this is not what they make music for. Artists like Miley Cyrus said she felt this happy yesterday because she's doing it for herself. Taylor Swift thanks her fans, and says she's happiest when making songs and doing what she loves...but sometimes, the awards gods are fickle.
Olivia Rodrigo's "Vampire" went home empty-handed, which was another surprise. While GUTS may not be my favorite work of Rodrigo's, "Vampire" was a chart-topping, viral song that I truly thought would win something. SZA's SOS album was on top of the Billboard Hot 100 every week but failed to receive a mention in the top categories like Album of the Year.
Lana Del Rey, who's been nominated upwards of 10 times and wrote one of the best albums in the culmination of her already iconic discography with Did you know that there's a tunnel under Ocean Boulevard? Received zero awards throughout the night. In a controversial move, Taylor Swift brought her up on stage so the world can recognize all Lana's done.
In the Best New Artist category, Ice Spice and Noah Kahan were betting favorites to win...but ultimately, it went to Victoria Monét.
The Best Performances From The Grammys
It's been years since Cyrus has graced any sort of stage, and she didn't disappoint. Every bit as honest, exciting, and a true rockstar as she's ever been, Miley Cyrus is one-of-a-kind. From chiding the audience for not singing along to celebrating her first Grammy win during her performance of "Flowers", you could tell that Miley just wanted to have fun.
She even shared she was doing this performance so she could watch clips of it later...and also admitted to foregoing underwear. It was fun, carefree, and exactly how these award shows should be.
You may wonder how someone with as illustrious a career as Joni Mitchell has never performed at the Grammy's. Singing a song she wrote at 21 years old, over half a century later, "Both Sides Now" was both moving and refreshing. She's won nine Grammy's herself, nominated 18 times, and has inspired the sounds of our favorite artists.
She took folk music and made it her own, and after having to re-learn how to talk (and sing) from a brain aneurysm, no one is more well-respected in the industry than Mitchell.
Luke Combs + Tracy Chapman
Luke Combs' cover of Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" dominated the charts this year. One of the most highly covered songs in the world, and Luke Combs put his country spin on it to create a beautiful, acoustic version. It feels almost entirely his own, but his performance with OG Tracy Chapman shows that music is, indeed, art.
The song itself is a timeless classic, with Luke Combs being one of the most talented country vocalists in the game right now and Tracy Chapman reminding us the deep roots of the song.
Other Notable Grammy Moments
It was a crazy night, in all honesty...with too many moments to mention, but there are a few major points to be made:
- Killer Mike won three Grammy awards including Best Rap Album, but was immediately arrested at the ceremony
- Upon announcing The Tortured Poet's Department, Swifties quickly uncovered a report that ex-boyfriend Joe Alwyn, Paul Mescal, and Andrew Scott's group chat was once called "Tortured Men's Club" - so count your days, Alwyn.
- "Water" singer Tyla won the first-ever Award for African Music Performance
Yes, it's been a few weeks and I can tell we are all desperate for a good playlist...one that scratches all the itches. And with UMG taking their music off TikTok, I'm already missing listening to clips of Taylor Swift songs and Harry Styles' greatest hits. And with the 2024 GRAMMY's happening on Sunday, I'm playing all the music I can in anticipation of music's biggest night.
So, if you're tired of work and are ready to blare some tunes to get you ready for the weekend, get your Spotify up...and let's get listening!
ROSIE - "Lose Me Too"
In honor of her 24th birthday, ROSIE releases her new single, "Lose Me Too," a breakup anthem about the struggle of trying not to lose yourself when you lose someone you love. It sums up the challenges you go through with your own identity during a breakup, where ROSIE's melancholic pop track shines. The light beat perfectly juxtaposes the sad truth of the lyrics, which is just another reason ROSIE deserves to shine this year. She says,
“‘Lose Me Too’ is about someone leaving me, but not letting them take all of my favorite things with them when they do! There are certain songs, places and memories that will always remind me of the person I lost and part of me finds that terrifying. This record is about reminding myself that all of my favorite things still belong to me, and in that way, I am reclaiming my power. ‘Lose Me Too’ is the start of a new era, where I face, confront, and ultimately overcome my biggest fears.”
"Dreaming" - Tones And I
Tones And I has this unique, scratchy sound that wiggles into your brain and stays there for days. It's the reason her song "Dance Monkey" went so insanely viral, she knows how to sing a bluesy pop hit that feels both retro and new all at the same time. With "Dreaming" you get that same playful energy, with a country/folk/stomp-and-holler sound that works just right.
"Dreaming" is about a partner who may not be all you thought they were. It has you begging the question: is this real or am I just dreaming?
"The Feminine Urge" - The Last Dinner Party
The Last Dinner Party encapsulates this Kate Bush, synth-y 80's sound that is both haunting and catchy all in one. With "The Feminine Urge", their surf-rock-esque indie sound exhibits their vocal range, and encapsulates female rage all in one. In a feminist tune, The Last Dinner Party asks the pressing questions: "Do you feel like a man when you can't talk back/Do you want me or do you want control?"
Playing with the idea of what it means to "breathe like a girl" and referencing ballerinas crushing under the weight of it all, The Last Dinner Party's jeering lyrics sum up the feminine urge women feel to fix everyone and everything. It's apart of their debut album, Prelude to Ecstasy, a must-listen this year.
"Turn The Lights Back On" - Billy Joel
Billy Joel still has it, which we already knew considering he's still touring all these years later. "Turn the Lights Back On" is a beautiful, loving ballad that hones in on his strengths: his voice, the piano, and his songwriting. You don't need much more than that when you're Billy Joel.
"Turn The Lights Back On" reminds us to be thankful for the great artists like Billy Joel, Stevie Nicks, and The Rolling Stones, who are still making music. Just sticking to what they know, no need to impress anyone anymore.
"Hunned Racks" - THE WHALES
The animated music group composed of TK and Leven Kali have released "Hunned Racks", a funky rap-infused jam with catchy beats and sweet, smooth vocals. It's a conglomeration of refined sound: G-funk, raps by MadeinTYO, and a hook from the always amazing Tkay Maidza.
What I love about THE WHALES is that you can hear how much fun they have going into every song. "Hunned Racks" is an easy choice for this playlist because it reminds you just to let go, and that's what the weekend is all about.