The greatest threat to the human race has always been our own bodies.

Our vulnerability to infectious diseases has caused the greatest calamities in recorded history, from the Black Plague to the astounding threat still posed by the common flu. But behind each health catastrophe is a story of blind greed or hubris, with humans spreading diseases due to rampant consumption, ecological destruction, or just plain ol' bureaucracy. Such is the case with the coronavirus, which, despite emerging in humans only recently, has made historic disruptions to everyday life. The World Health Organization recently declared the virus a pandemic, in addition to being a global emergency.

Luckily, we have movies to turn to in times like these to educate us on how to survive (and prevent) a global pandemic. So what can we learn from virus outbreak movies?

1. Contagion

Contagion is an especially relevant thriller that follows the global spread of a deadly virus, along with researchers' attempts to contain and cure the disease. As the plot progresses across several lines of perspective, we witness the mass social disorder caused by the pandemic.

But the real twist comes at the end, when we see the virus' source [SPOILER]: A bulldozer plows through a Chinese jungle, which disturbs a bat that infects a pig, which is then handled by a chef who doesn't wash his hands before shaking hands with Gwyneth Paltrow, who is Patient 0. So the lesson here is that the virus is entirely humans' fault for engaging in deforestation, and also wash your f*cking hands.

Satire

Elder Gods Apologize for Delay in Rollout of the Apocalypse

Production on the end of the world has been a mess since day one

With June of 2020 nearly here and no sign of the final cataclysm we've been promised, it's beginning to seem like The End Times will forever be near, without ever being upon us.

While the early phases of civilization's collapse into a burning hellscape were promising, progress on the more dramatic culmination of armageddon has been repeatedly stalled by restructuring, miscommunication, and the high rate of turnover within the ranks of the Great Old Ones' loyal subjects.

"The slow burn is great and all," said John Knӕlgghyrt, née Phillips, who was briefly the high priest of Cthulhu's Dark Order—prior to being scooped unceremoniously into his lord's tentacled maw—"but trying to get the big stuff done has been a real challenge." The main struggle he points to is the lack of cohesion and structural order among the death cult working haplessly to hasten Earth's return to a state of desolation and chaos. "It's like herding cats sometimes. Insane, death-obsessed cats."

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FILM

Comeback Season: How Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt Ruled 2019

Jenny from the Block and People's two-time Sexiest Man Alive are back.

Michael Stewart/WireImage | Getty Images

Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt

Two larger-than-life stars of the 1990s, Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt, are having the best year of their careers. 2019 has been so good to them that it might end with Oscar gold.

Thanks to the streaming era, the number of financially successful original movies has dwindled at the box office. During the summer months, it's rare for studios to put anything that's not a sequel or a superhero film in theaters. Critically acclaimed hits like Long Shot and Late Night failed to get butts in seats, and even big franchise features like Men in Black: International and Godzilla: King of the Monsters performed poorly (overall box office numbers are down 6.4% from last year).

Are superhero flicks, franchise sequels, and reboots the only films that make money? Not necessarily, but it's much harder for a an original screenplay to compete. However, the one element that counteracts this pattern is star power. Name recognition still matters; A-list stars can still sell movies.

A study in 2017 showed the two biggest age demographics of moviegoers were 25-39 and 60+. Which group of stars do these demographics identify with more easily: 20-something-year-olds like Ansel Elgort and Ashleigh Cummings or wizened Hollywood veterans like Jennifer Lopez and Brad Pitt? The resounding answer is Lopez and Pitt.

Hustlers | Official Trailer [HD] | Now In Theaters www.youtube.com

In fact, Elgort and Cummings' recent film, The Goldfinch, bombed at the box office, making just $2.6 million on a $40+ million budget. You know whose films didn't bomb? Lopez's (Hustlers) and Pitt's (Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood and Ad Astra). Lopez and Pitt have only been in a total of five films since 2017, but if box office success serves as evidence, their names still carry weight.

Both Lopez and Pitt are experiencing a career renaissance in 2019. To be clear, neither of them has ever vanished from the public eye. As long as they are living and breathing on this Earth, their names will still have currency in celebrity gossip circles and entertainment forums. Although Lopez hasn't starred in a lot of films since the end of 2015, she's just as relevant as ever. Lopez starred on NBC's Shades of Blue, held both a Las Vegas residency and world tour, and currently judges on World of Dance. On top of that, Lopez is in a high-profile relationship with Alex Rodriguez, has over 100 million followers on Instagram, and will co-headline the 2020 Super Bowl Halftime Show with Shakira.

Now, thanks to Hustlers, J-Lo has the Oscars in her sights, too. Based on the The Cut article by Jessica Pressler titled "The Hustlers at Scores," Hustlers follows a group of New York City strippers who steal money from wealthy Wall Street executives and businessmen. Lopez stars as Ramona, a feisty veteran stripper who helps lead the scheme with her coworker, Destiny (Constance Wu). Hustlers is already Lopez's highest opening weekend of her career at the box office (for a live-action film), as well as the highest opening weekend for the film's studio, STX Entertainment. In fact, the 50-year-old actress has generated Oscar buzz in the supporting actress category, which would be her first ever nomination.

Pitt is, without a doubt, one of the best actors of the last 30 years. At the turn of the 21st century, Pitt was arguably the biggest movie star on the planet. In the 1990s, Pitt had been nominated for an Oscar, won People's Sexiest Man Alive, starred in Fight Club, and dated Jennifer Anniston. And that was before his charming character in the Ocean's series stole America's heart.

Unfortunately, Pitt doesn't act a lot anymore. Instead, he's chosen to produce more films with his company, Plan B. From 2015 to the release of Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood, Pitt was only in four movies. Then, Pitt decided 2019 was the time to remind the world that he's "Brad Effin Pitt," one of the last movie stars we have. For the first time in almost a decade, Pitt starred in two movies in one year, Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood and Ad Astra. Let's start with the flashy role in Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood, which, as of Sept. 26, has grossed over $340 million worldwide. Pitt plays Cliff Booth, a stuntman to Rick Dalton (Leonard DiCaprio) who navigates the changing landscape of Hollywood in 1969 Los Angeles. Pitt is so fantastic in the role that he's one of the favorites to win Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars. Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times said Pitt killed it and "turns in one of the most memorable performances of his career."

Ad Astra | IMAX Trailer [HD] | 20th Century FOX www.youtube.com

However, Pitt's true powers were on full display in James Gray's Ad Astra. Pitt plays Major Roy McBride, an astronaut who goes into space to search for his father, whose experiment threatens the entire solar system. It's a father-son love story disguised as a sci-fi epic. Ad Astra is a character study in what it means to be alone and how to find the true meaning of life. Pitt successfully channels these emotions of solitude and grief and gives one of the best performances of his career (again). The film recently launched overseas and grossed $26 million.

The changing of the guard is inevitable when it comes to Hollywood. New stars will eventually surpass the old ones. Maybe the box office will eventually sway back towards original movies and away from flashy superheroes and unwanted sequels. Lopez and Pitt are much-needed reminders that the reign of superhero franchises and reboots is temporary: The Old Guard of Hollywood is still a powerful creative force. And maybe, just maybe, A-listers of the 90s are the key to scaling back the pit of recycled material that Hollywood has fallen into.