Popdust

✖

7 People Besides Greta Thunberg Who Need Donald Trump's "Anger Management" Advice

Why are these people always getting mad about major societal injustices?

Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg arrives to deliver a speech at the Assemblee Nationale, French parliament, in Paris, France, 23 July 2019.

Photo by IAN LANGSDON/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

In the wake of Time Magazine's selection of Greta Thunberg as their "Person of the Year", critics of science, ice caps, and the existence of youth have come out of the woodwork to criticize the choice.

She's a scold! A puppet! She's "mentally ill!" She's too young to have anything of value to say! But perhaps none have had more trenchant criticisms of Thunberg than the two Donald Trumps, both Junior and Senile. Don Jr. lashed out at Time for overlooking the Hong Kong protesters, a common thread among critics of Time's choice.

After all, the protests have been going on for more than six months now, and they give Americans an excuse to ignore the protests in the Middle East and Latin America—which implicate US foreign policy—and focus on the crimes of mainland China and the thank you messages to Trump. Instead of honoring the people who honored his father, Time Magazine devoted their cover to, in Junior's words, "a marketing gimmick."

It's unclear which marketing department came up with Greta Thunberg. The planet's? Generations-of-people-yet-to-be-born's? Whatever Madison Avenue genius came up with an impassioned teenage girl with Asperger's trying to save the world, give that guy the Don Draper award for clever gimmicks. Bravo. Never would've thought of it myself.

https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg

Not to be outdone though, President Trump tweeted some advice for Greta. Apparently, she needs to work on her "Anger Management problem" and stop involving herself in the grown-up business of destroying the future. Instead, President Trump advised that she should just "go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend. Chill Greta, Chill!" And she took his advice—yay!— altering her Twitter bio to reflect this sage wisdom from one of her biggest moral role models.

With this rousing success, maybe Trump should consider sending similar advice to some other angry people. Here are some current and former rageaholics who could really use a Trump-brand chill pill.

The Parkland Teens

"If you don't do anything to prevent this from continuing to occur, that number of gunshot victims will go up and the number that they are worth will go down. And we will be worthless to you."

Wow, calm down, Emma Gonzalez, why don't you go to a water park or something to take your mind off the trauma you've experienced and the lack of action to address this uniquely American type of horrifying violence.

FDR

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan."

Damn, Frankie, hold a grudge much? You're almost as bad as your boy Winston "Beach-Fight" Churchill. I know you guys are worried about those Axis powers trying to take over the world, but why don't you go fly a kite and see how you feel in the morning.

Rosa Parks

"The only tired I was, was tired of giving in."

Geez, it's just a bus seat—and the systematic oppression of black Americans that deprives them of society's best resources and the opportunities to improve their lives. Go get a couple scoops of ice cream and you'll feel better.

The Standing Rock Sioux

"The invisibility of our humanity in this country is literally killing our women; they are offered up as easy prey and their disappearances are often lacking consequences for the perpetrators."

Okay, Chairman Archambault, so the decision to run a hazardous oil pipeline through your tribal lands actually points to a general disregard for the humanity of indigenous peoples, and that results in terrifying mistreatment. But have you considered going to a good old fashioned game of baseball? Might help you relax.

Simone De Beauvoir

"All oppression creates a state of war. And this is no exception."

What is it with these feminist political thinkers always getting so hot under the collar about not having the same rights, freedoms, and legal recognitions as men? Just go to a barbecue and stop worrying so much!

James Baldwin

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time."

Okay, James, but have you tried not being relatively conscious? Try huffing some good old-fashioned ether, or downing a couple bottles of high-strength chill pills.

Now if these other hotheads would just take President Trump's sound advice before the year is over, maybe Time will change their minds, and give "Person of the Year" to the kind of calm, chilled out person who deserves it.

Rico Nasty Drops One of the Best Albums of 2019 So Far: "Anger Management"

The Maryland rapper's newest mixtape, a collaboration with producer Kenny Beats, is a caustic celebration of anger, catharsis, and Rico herself.

"Aren't you tired of the same old thing?" a disarmingly calm computer voice asks—right before Rico Nasty gleefully shatters that same old thing with a sledgehammer.

Rico roars in her signature yowl, and a wall of jaw-breaking sound surges right behind her: "No it won't fade away, shots like a fade-away / Smile in a hater's face, watch what the fuck you say." Anger Management, her latest mixtape, sets its savage pace with opener, "Cold," and never slows down. Co-headlined with producer and frequent Rico collaborator, Kenny Beats, Anger Management is a mad-science experiment in cathartic rage, and the Maryland rapper has never sounded more at home than she does here, her punk sensibility and jagged flow staking out real estate in Beats' patchwork-banger production.

Following in the footsteps of Vince Staples' FM!, Earl Sweatshirt's Some Rap Songs, and Tierra Whack's kaleidoscopic Whack World, Anger Management barely scrapes twenty minutes in length, a brevity that demands a charismatic efficiency. Rico and Kenny Beats elect to fill out that time with bruiser after bruiser, rolling mosh-pit immediacy into a tight sonic discipline. Kenny Beats gives a cohesive edge to each track without sounding one-note, employing everything from John Carpenter-horror-gone-rap on "Cheat Code" to an irreverent jangle on the tongue-wagging "Big Titties." And it works: Anger Management's controlled rowdiness enhances Rico's eclectic personality, giving her bars room to grow into the sound.

Rico's clearly writing and rapping her ass off on Anger Management, to the point where the mixtape feels like the clearest expression of Rico Nasty to come out yet. Her cadence and vocal control are at their sharpest, but her skills as a narrator in the center of a sonic storm becomes the project's biggest pull: "Bitch, I got a family, everybody gotta eat / So keep that shit in mind when you thinkin' about tryin' me," she raps on "Hatin," a powerful threat wrapped in a loving fist. Rico tries on a few different registers during the album's breakneck tempo, spitting machine-gun acid and syrup-thick braggadocio alike (even some Juice Wrld-Drake sing-song warbling on album closer, "Again") and nails them all, but her point on Anger Management isn't just to flex, the album serves as a reminder that she's not going anywhere. "The kids stay around even though doors let out / 'Cause they just wanna tell me about how I helped them out / I won't let them down," Rico promises on "Sell Out," one of the most reflective songs she's released to date. Rico's made it, and life is good, but she's still defending her own—her talent, her hustle, the kids who hear those things in her music and pack into her shows looking for something they recognize. Rico Nasty is staying in the game for them as much as she is for herself, and she refuses to give anything up along the way.

Anger Management

Matthew Apadula is a writer and music critic from New York. His work has previously appeared on GIGsoup Music and in Drunk in a Midnight Choir. Find him on Twitter @imdoingmybest.

POP⚡DUST | Read More...

Cynister Declares Independence in Their Latest Single "No Man"

Taylor Swift's BBMA "Mayochella" Performance Angered the Beyhive

Woodstock 50 Has (Thankfully) Been Canceled

From Your Site Articles