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Baby Yoda Choked a B*tch & Storm Troopers Vape

"The Mandalorian" Episode 7 Review

Let's get right to it. Baby Yoda is a sadistic little sexist.

14 minutes deep in Episode 7 of Star Wars: The Mandalorian, the show's protagonist arm wrestles Cara Dune (Gina Carano), a female ally, onboard his starship.

Seeing this, Baby Yoda reaches out and uses the Force to choke Cara. She immediately pulls back from the match, clenching her throat, desperately trying to free herself from the attack. But Baby Yoda tightens his grasp to finish the job.

Courtesy of Lucasfilm

This is a dark moment for any series airing on the family friendly Disney+ service. Only when Mando (Pedro Pascal) intervenes, reprimanding Baby Yoda, does the tiny monster release his Force hold on the powerful warrior Cara Dune, suddenly rendered helpless.

Many will make useless attempts to defend B.Y., claiming he was just trying to protect the Mandalorian. But let's be real. Force choking is established in the Star Wars universe as a DARK SIDE technique.

Previously we've seen Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader use this power to abuse his underlings and to accidentally kill off Padmé. It doesn't come from a wellspring of loyalty or heroism. It bubbles up from a dark abyss of rage and perversion.

It's clear that if uninterrupted, The Child would have choked Cara to death, and he probably would have liked it.

And if just thinking about that scene was as good for you as it was for me, it's time for a reflective and satisfying smoke break. Luckily, Storm Troopers (or more specifically, Scout Troopers) brought the vape.

Scout Trooper Vaping Cloud God

Some ignorant fools will claim the smoke there is actually just exhaust coming from a building in the background. But those of us who live in reality know vape clouds when we see them.

This dude is about to start blowing smoke rings. And if you're a true fan, you know that there is precedence for this sort of thing in the Galaxy.

In Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) Obi-Wan is offered "death sticks" while clubbing, an illegal product which StarWars.com defines as a "highly addictive substance, delivered inside luminescent sticks [which] was a favorite among desperate addicts and foolish thrill-seekers." Sounds like some real bomb ass loud dank to me.

Obi-Wan being offered Death Sticks Get Lit

Of course these instances of drug use and misogynist violence are not the only highlights of the episode. For instance, Baby Yoda uses his Force abilities to heal Greef Karga (Carl Weathers) after Karga is attacked by a poisonous, flying bat monster.

Just when things are starting to look grim, Baby Yoda breaks out a never-before-seen force ability to save the life of a man who was planning to betray them to Moff Gideon (Giancarlo Esposito), and had previously tried to kill the Mandalorian to deliver Baby Yoda to "The Client" (Werner Herzog).

So, just to clarify, when it's a woman who has shown herself to be a strong, independent, upstanding warrior, the little creeper (who, don't forget, is in his 50s) tries to choke her out. But, then, when it comes to Greef Karga, a man, presented until now as an enemy, he tenderly erases all wounds with his devil magic.

And this is The Child we're all supposed to adore and worry about? This demonic little creature is the one we're supposed to be rooting for while the Mandalorian kills dozens of people whose only crime is trying to deliver this scourge into a secure facility?

Why shouldn't we want Werner Herzog to suck out all of Baby Yoda's evil goo to sell for a profit? Mando always says "this is the way" to justify saving The Child, but maybe "the way" needs to be revisited to add some exceptions for Sith demon spawn.

Anyway, it's a great episode and probably my favorite so far. 9/10.