TV

Baby Yoda Choked a B*tch & Storm Troopers Vape

"The Mandalorian" Episode 7 Review

Let's get right to it. Baby Yoda is a kinky sexist.

14 minutes deep in Episode 7 of "The Mandalorian," the show's protagonist arm wrestles Cara Dune (Gina Carano), a female ally, onboard his starship. Seeing this, Baby Yoda reaches out and uses the Force to choke Cara. She immediately pulls back from the match, clenching her throat, desperately trying to free herself from the attack. Right then, Baby Yoda tightens his grasp to finish the job.

Courtesy of Lucasfilm

Finally, Mando intervenes, reprimanding Baby Yoda and disrupting his Force hold on the helpless woman. Many will defend BY, claiming he was just trying to protect Mando. But let's be real. Force choking is established in the Star Wars universe as a DARK SIDE technique. It doesn't come from a wellspring of loyalty or heroism, it bubbles up from an abyss of perversion, sick fantasies, and rage. It's clear that if uninterrupted, BY would have choked Cara to death, and would have liked it.

Now if you got off as good as I did from that scene, it's time for a reflective and satisfying smoke break. Luckily, Storm Troopers (or more specifically, Scout Troopers) brought the vape.

Scout Trooper Vaping Cloud God

Some ignorant fools will claim the smoke there is actually just exhaust in the background. But ya boy knows vape clouds when he sees them. And if you're a true fan, you know that there is precedence for this sort of thing in this galaxy. In Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) Obi-Wan is offered "death sticks" while clubbing, which StarWars.com claims contain "highly addictive substance, delivered inside luminescent sticks, was a favorite among desperate addicts and foolish thrill-seekers." Sounds like some real bomb ass dank ass.

Obi-Wan being offered Death Sticks Get Lit

Some other stuff happens in this episode as well. Flashing back to Baby Yoda, the child uses his Force abilities to heal Greef Carga (Carl Weathers) after Greef was attacked by some poisonous, flying bat monster. So let's get this straight. When it's a woman, the little creeper (who, keep in mind is a 50 year old man) tries to choke her out. But when it comes to Greef Carga (a man, presented until now as an enemy), he will tenderly erase all wounds with his devil magic.

Anyway, it's a great episode and probably my favorite so far. 9/10.

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