CULTURE
Astrology, BTS, and (Timothée) Chalamet: The ABCs of the "Is Your Child Texting About" Meme
One for every fandom.
10.24.2019
Kids these days are up to a lot of things.
Saving the planet, running businesses, starting social movements... It's fair that we'd all be concerned for their well-being. Fortunately, the Internet has come through with a handful of codes and cheat sheets that you can use to decipher what your child is really getting up to online.
Astrology
Is your child texting about astrology? SMH= scorpio midheaven LOL= libras or leos? OFC= ophiuchus is f*cking crap… https://t.co/sTJVtR3cTp— Kay 🌸 (@Kay 🌸)1571247832.0
BTS
IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT BTS? GTG- go taehyung go FFS- fight for seokjin ICB- i care boutNamjoon ATM- appreciat… https://t.co/mqv9wyaQ1N— 𝔞 𝔫 𝔞 (@𝔞 𝔫 𝔞)1571772199.0
(Timothée) Chalamet
Decolonization
Is your child texting about decolonization? via https://t.co/J3HDnEQspF https://t.co/ql0xsQ9Tsi— Nadine (@Nadine)1571400829.0
(Edgar Allan) Poe
Financial Crisis (2008)
is your child texting about the 2008 financial crisis? lol = lots of loans brb = better reach buffet smh = seize… https://t.co/REYItj7lCN— obj (Q4 edition) (@obj (Q4 edition))1548731803.0
Guinea Pigs
Is your child texting about Guinea Pigs? brb = bashful rat blob rofl = royal oblong fur loaf— Perfume Genius (@Perfume Genius)1532565690.0
Hamlet
IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT HAMLET? • OMFG - Oop, My Father’s Ghost • AF - Avenging Father • iPad - I, Polonius, a… https://t.co/ezBSac6XKE— ruby🦎 (@ruby🦎)1569093282.0
Intersectional Feminism
Is your child texting about intersectional feminism? lol: liberating ourselves locally tbh: talking bout heteropa… https://t.co/NZkelcS2XD— Sasha Costanza-Chock (@Sasha Costanza-Chock)1517198907.0
Julio-Claudians
Is *your* child texting about the Julio-Claudians? LOL: Lot of Livias GNITE: Germanicus Now Is Tiberius' Enemy ASA… https://t.co/yC1sPBZ1Ez— Dr Rob Cromarty (@Dr Rob Cromarty)1571613265.0
Kingdom Hearts
Is your child texting about Kingdom Hearts? XOX: Xemnas Or Xehanort WYD: Why you, Donald? OMFG: Oh My Friend Go… https://t.co/zRFWYVtrYD— Xainn (@Xainn)1517359586.0
Love, Simon
is your child texting about love, simon? LOOK FOR THESE SIGNS! SYJYIABAG- so you’re jewish? yeah i’m also black… https://t.co/rdd9Rz6Ulp— lil EEK! (@lil EEK!)1521260691.0
Molecular Biology
is your child texting about MOLECULAR BIOLOGY? wtf: wow, transcription factors np: nice proteins lmk: loving mulli… https://t.co/chSXRFldN4— sam (@sam)1518518894.0
Naruto
Oklahoma
Is your child texting about Oklahoma? IMTYO: I met Trae Young once W?: Whataburger? DTSUOTCTA: Damn, they skippe… https://t.co/loVZXqe8Ol— hellen ombachi🇰🇪 (@hellen ombachi🇰🇪)1517543958.0
Pop-Punk
Is your child texting about pop-punk? MINMW- maybe it’s not my weekend INWTBTTLINAWWOHIWPRABWTJFMO- I never wante… https://t.co/qrgIWNfuvb— Rock Sound (@Rock Sound)1522404831.0
The Q'uran
Is your child texting about Mohammad's The Koran/Q'uran? BTW: busy themselves with TGIF: that God is free FFS: for… https://t.co/JG2e0cOzw3— Is Your Child Bot (@Is Your Child Bot)1521887600.0
Radical Liberalism
Is your child texting about RADICAL LIBERALISM? LOL - Lop Off Lords' (Heads) ROFL - Royals of French Lineage BRB -… https://t.co/L7iTfuTsOk— Jean-Jacquer Rousseau (@Jean-Jacquer Rousseau)1571851061.0
Stew
Is your child texting about stew? Lol: lots of leftovers Lmao: leave my appliances on (to make stew) Rofl: radical… https://t.co/Ht7JBi8YKy— Brigid Kennedy (@Brigid Kennedy)1571689615.0
Tide Pods
Is your child texting about tide pods? Know the signs: WYD: Where’s Your Detergent WTF: Want Tide Fast LOL: Load… https://t.co/A2brp7Vd5O— Jenn McAllister (@Jenn McAllister)1517297143.0
Unions
Is your child texting about unions? Know the signs: LOL - Love Organized Labor BRB - Boss Really Bad LMAO - Love… https://t.co/4bDKUhgObh— 👻boonion horrorganizer🌹 (@👻boonion horrorganizer🌹)1567003556.0
(Two Gentlemen of) Verona
Is your child texting about William Shakespeare's Two Gentlemen of Verona? WTF: wealth than faults FML: for my lov… https://t.co/ACl2pM1qct— Is Your Child Bot (@Is Your Child Bot)1520893989.0
Writing
IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT WRITING? AWOL = A Work Of Literature BDSM = Best Draft Since Monday BRO = Beta Reader… https://t.co/6oiBDpzVUF— Patrick-or-treat Bohan 🎃👻 (@Patrick-or-treat Bohan 🎃👻)1571147511.0
X Factor Auditions
is your child texting about iconic x factor auditions? cmyb: c'mon move your body ilatm: i'm lazy at the moment… https://t.co/mSAFZYnBUr— joe (@joe)1569877972.0
Dead meme format getting the most abuse by 38 year old #hip marketers: “Is your child texting about x, know the signs”— Luke Wright (@Luke Wright)1519049075.0
(The New York) Yankees
Is your child secretly texting about the Yankees? brb = brett runs better stfu = severino, tanaka, freakin unbeli… https://t.co/CdxPWShhgY— Sung Min Kim (@Sung Min Kim)1517073219.0
Z
Is your child texting about the Latin alphabet? Know the signs: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z— Bikes, Chillian J. (@Bikes, Chillian J.)1517545070.0
Y’all need to stop with the “Is your child texting about...” meme. It stopped being funny several iterations ago.— Aliki Chapple (@Aliki Chapple)1518020967.0
The truth is that these memes are more about Boomers and Gen X'ers than they do about kids these days. We all know that older generations spend more time than anyone leaving angry comments on Facebook pages, and they're the ones who worry relentlessly about the Internet when maybe they should have been worrying about climate change or gun violence. But hey, as long as your kid isn't texting about communism, everything's going to be just fine.
Now, please, let's all get off the Internet.
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Culture Feature
Raymond the Smug Cat and the Dark Underbelly of "Animal Crossing"
Raymond's popularity sheds light on a bizarre underside of the Animal Crossing fandom.
05.14.2020
Nintendo
Raymond is a smug cat who highlights his heterochromatic eyes with hipster glasses.
He is essentially the same exact character as every other Animal Crossing villager with a "Smug" personality type, but again, and this is very important, Raymond is a cat with heterochromatic eyes and hipster glasses. As such, he has completely broken the Animal Crossing community.
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzI3Nzg3Ni9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwMzczNTI2N30.vmUprSYDuXiJcQZ6URDqST_Q22-rnWOVTvzIMEvyEfQ/img.jpg?width=980" id="950c2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="222ac114c4ab04672c8b6333b9de14a1" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Raymond anime">
<small class="image-media media-photo-credit" placeholder="Add Photo Credit...">https://www.reddit.com/r/AnimalCrossing/comments/fsj0iq/raymond_loves_anime/</small>
</p><p>
It's nearly impossible to step foot into any <em>Animal Crossing</em>-centric corner of the Internet without seeing dozens of posts about Raymond—love posts, backlash posts, endless <a href="https://www.polygon.com/2020/5/12/21256054/animal-crossing-raymond-villager-new-horizons-black-market-in-boxes-meme-fan-art-nintendo-switch" target="_blank">Raymond memes</a>. But there's more to Raymond's popularity than simple fan posting.
</p><p>Raymond's popularity also sheds light on a bizarre underside of the <em>Animal Crossing </em>fandom—a <a href="https://www.polygon.com/2020/4/22/21229959/animal-crossing-new-horizons-black-market-villager-trading-raymond-nmt-bells-nintendo-switch-discord" target="_blank">virtual black market</a> characterized by backdoor deals and fictional animal trafficking.<br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
<!-- End Ezoic - undersecond12 - under_second_paragraph --></p><div id="993ab" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="fd9090857de6bffbab2221264fbd8fcc"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1259488870208606210" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I love Raymond cause without him we wouldn’t have content like this https://t.co/Mu7esZkCd0</div> — Chloe 🥭 (@Chloe 🥭)<a href="https://twitter.com/daisyymaes/statuses/1259488870208606210">1589120521.0</a></blockquote></div><p>
To be clear, "selling"<em> Animal Crossing </em>villagers is not unique to <em>New Horizons</em>. Since 2012, certain <em>New Leaf </em>forums have provided spaces for players to offer up desirable villagers (or "dreamies," as the community refers to their favorites) in exchange for in-game currency. Back then, villager trading was a somewhat <a href="https://www.wikihow.com/Trade-Villagers-in-Animal-Crossing:-New-Leaf" target="_blank">complicated process</a> that required players to wait for the targeted villager to randomly decide to move. Afterwards, the buyer would come to the seller's island on the villager's move-out date and talk to the moving villager, which would lead that villager to move to their island.<br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-633"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent1 - mid_content --></p><p>
Then <em><a href="https://animal-crossing.com/amiibo/#welcome" target="_blank">Animal Crossing </a></em><a href="https://animal-crossing.com/amiibo/#welcome">amiibo cards</a> came along and changed everything. With an <em>Animal Crossing </em>amiibo card, all you had to do was scan the card of your favorite villager and they would move to your town. Popular villagers could be endlessly generated without any need for trading or waiting. Outside of people exchanging rare items, the player-based <em>New Leaf </em>economy largely died. <span></span>
</p><p></p><center><script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><!-- Popdust Mobile Banner 320x100 --><ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:320px;height:100px" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4301469008561137" data-ad-slot="6952751205"></ins><script>
(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});
</script></center><p></p><p>
But <em>New Horizons </em>is significantly more popular than <em>New Leaf </em>ever was, and while <em>Animal Crossing </em>amiibo cards are still supported, they're also out of print (although <a href="https://nintendosoup.com/animal-crossing-amiibo-cards-will-get-another-restock-in-japan-during-june-2020/" target="_blank">set to be reprint</a> later this year). This has resulted in an insane demand for the cards on eBay, driving the prices of popular villager cards up anywhere from $30 to $100 each. Still, once in possession of a villager's amiibo card, the player has unlimited access to that character forever. And perhaps even more importantly, using an amiibo card in <em>Animal Crossing: New Horizons </em>allows you to select which villager you want to move, anytime you want. That villager will then immediately start packing up their house ("in-boxes," as the <em>Animal Crossing </em>community says), making them available to "sell" at a moment's notice.
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><div id="d15f3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4939346eb03a68badc36334993d98ac1"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1259639988972642304" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">I have Raymond in boxes. Dm me with your best offer. Serious inquiries only https://t.co/ILCyAnA7Yx</div> — strawberry kitten 🍓 (@strawberry kitten 🍓)<a href="https://twitter.com/iscythea/statuses/1259639988972642304">1589156551.0</a></blockquote></div><p>
<span></span>This brings us back to—you guessed it—Raymond, the smug cat. <em>New Horizons </em>has eight brand new villagers who don't have amiibo cards, and the most popular amongst them is Raymond. The fact that there's no Raymond amiibo card means that he's impossible to get without someone naturally encountering him in-game first, causing the <em></em>player-based <em>Animal Crossing </em>black market scene to re-emerge with a vengeance. Traditional forum posts are a thing of the past. Now, entire online storefronts like "<a href="https://nookazon.com/product/1096505003" target="_blank">Nookazon</a>" exist for people to list their Raymonds (and anything else in the game, too) for bidding wars.<span></span><br>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><p>
Moreover, the Turnip-based "Stalk Market" has generated a massive influx of bells for many active <em>Animal Crossing </em>players, making the game's primary form of currency worthless in most player-to-player transactions. Instead, the market now revolves around Nook Miles Tickets, which allow players to travel to deserted islands to farm resources and potentially encounter new villagers.
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><p>
<span></span><span></span>Ultimately, all of this, largely driven by demand for Raymond and a few other "dreamies," has resulted in a bizarre cycle wherein a player can sell Raymond for 1000 Nook Miles Tickets, giving them 1000 more chances to hop deserted islands in search of...more Raymonds. Rinse and repeat. Oh, and lest anyone think there's no potential for profit, plenty of eBay accounts now sell "genuinely encountered" Raymonds at $10 to $20 real-world dollars, with hundreds of sales. <span></span>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-638"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent33 - longer_content --></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzI3ODEyNy9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MTI3MDU4N30.TIu56I4PZZLMk9rqePXD2NMODyMXUaOgaZeYrIs_16s/img.png?width=980" id="c3c02" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9d4c2c46818a71f192e2ab7f465d757e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Animal Crossing Raymond Ebay">
</p><p>
On one hand, <em>Animal Crossing </em>is a video game, and all of the villagers are virtual bits of data without real feelings. But at the same time, something about the whole <em></em><em>Animal Crossing </em>villager black market scene feels...wrong.
</p><p>
<em></em><em>Animal Crossing </em>is designed to be a relaxing experience revolving around slow-paced, real-time gameplay and forming friendships with the animals on your island. Its widespread use as a <a href="https://www.popdust.com/people-are-using-the-animal-crossing-new-horizons-museum-to-go-on-dates-while-stuck-in-quarantine-2645575339.html" target="_self">social outlet</a> and means of creative expression stands testament to its spirit as a game meant to be <em>experienced</em>. <span></span>
</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-639"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent4 - longest_content --></p><p>
Of course, with a game as open-ended as <em>Animal Crossing</em>, different people are bound to find different ways to experience it. Still, it's a sad reflection on humanity that in a game so heavily geared towards relaxation, such a large subset of players have taken it upon themselves to build a virtual, hyper-capitalist meta-economy–turning the cute, friendly villagers that the game intends you to form connections with into commodities. Meanwhile, "ugly" villagers are oftentimes <a href="https://www.polygon.com/2020/4/29/21238552/animal-crossing-new-horizons-acnh-switch-ugly-villagers-trading-amiibo-moving-out" target="_blank">treated like dirt</a>, abused and ridiculed despite their personalities being exactly the same as their more conventionally attractive alternatives. For many within the <em>Animal Crossing </em>community, creating a perfect island with top-tier villagers becomes a status symbol instead of a personal goal dictated by personal preferences.
</p><p>
<em>Animal Crossing </em>is a game, sure, but the way players have twisted it seems to speak to something dark, and maybe even sad, at humanity's core. Are we truly unable to bond and relax outside of the reaches of greedy, hierarchical ideologies? Or are we doomed to endlessly chase after Raymond the smug cat?
</p><div id="8f402" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="b9f67663ec8c57ddb279a44609ffab89"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="1260070481157373952" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">"Moving again... crisp"
#AnimalCrossingNewHorizons https://t.co/O1ieim1PWk</div> — Sara (@Sara)<a href="https://twitter.com/Rinkibu/statuses/1260070481157373952">1589259188.0</a></blockquote></div><p>
<br>
<span></span>
</p>
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FILM
Now in Theaters: 5 New Movies for the Weekend of March 29
Go to the movies, don't be a Dumbo.
03.28.2019
Welcome back to "Now in Theaters: 5 New Movies for the Weekend."
This week we have more live-action Disney and also Matthew McConaughey's bare ass.
WIDE RELEASE:
Dumbo
Dumbo Official Trailer www.youtube.com
Tim Burton's take on Disney's 1941 animated classic, Dumbo, looks...fine. Tim Burton's visual flair is certainly apparent, but that hasn't been enough to make his last few movies particularly interesting. There's some serious talent in the cast (Michael Keaton and Danny DeVito), but it's worrying that the trailer focuses on two generic, wide-eyed youths spewing schlock lines like, "You can do it, Dumbo!" I'm sure it's fine. Everything is fine. The world isn't on fire. Enjoy your live-action Disney reboot.
LIMITED RELEASE:
The Beach Bum
THE BEACH BUM Trailer # 2 (NEW 2018) Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey Movie HD www.youtube.com
Matthew McConaughey plays Moondog, a prolific weed-smoker and sometimes poet who spends his days having sex and doing drugs in Florida. It's written and directed by Harmony Korine (Spring Breakers), so whether or not you enjoy The Beach Bum will probably come down to a few different factors. First, do you like Korine's distinct, hyper-colorful aesthetics and meandering plot lines usually full of unlikeable characters? Second, do you like Matthew McConaughey going all-out and showing his butt? And most importantly, are you very high?
A Vigilante
A VIGILANTE Official Trailer (2019) Olivia Wilde, Thriller Movie HD www.youtube.com
A Vigilante follows Olivia Wilde in the role of a former domestic abuse victim-turned-vigilante who kills domestic abusers. But rather than dwelling on the violence, like most similarly conceived movies do, A Vigilante seems to focus more on the pain and darkness of Olivia Wilde's character. Wilde's performance is supposedly a real standout here, so if you're looking for a gritty, potentially upsetting denouncement of abusers this weekend, check this one out.
Screwball
Screwball - Official Trailer www.youtube.com
Screwball is a documentary about baseball. If you think that sounds boring, I did too until I watched the trailer. Damn, that's an entertaining trailer. Director Billy Corben (Cocaine Cowboys) recounts Major League Baseball's most notorious doping scandal in 2013, wrapping in star players like Alex Rodriguez and Manny Ramirez. Many of the illegal activities seem to be rehashed by child actors dressed as adults, which sounds incredibly stupid but looks funny. If you have even a modicum of interest in sports or true crime, be sure to put this on your list.
Diane
Diane - Official Trailer I HD I IFC Films www.youtube.com
Diane is an aging boomer who dedicates her time to helping others, thinking about her friends and trying to bond with her drug-addicted son (yes, that's Pete from The Office). But she's got some personal demons of her own to confront too, and she's not getting any younger. It's hard to tell exactly what the movie is about from the trailer, but it currently boasts a perfect 100% on Rotten Tomatoes, so if you're looking for a serious drama this weekend, keep it in mind.
Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com
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