The Razzie nomination committee probably had just about everyone involved with the movie Battleship penciled in for their respective honors before the movie even came out—after all, it's not like there was gonna be a Connect Four film adaptation likely to split the "Movie Based on a BOARD GAME" vote. Indeed, this year's Golden Raspberry Award nominations were recently released, and Battleship is, unsurprisingly, one of the year's most-decorated movies, scoring an impressive seven nods. (Only That's My Boy and Breaking Dawn Part II received more.) And included in those honored is the primary reason we bother to talk about Battleship on this website—our old friend Rihanna, up for Best Supporting Actress.
We're no Razzie expert prognosticators, but looking over the nominees, Rihanna seems like she'd have to be considered the clear front-runner. She might split the Battleship vote a tad with co-star Brooklyn Decker, and the pop star vote a bit with Jennifer Lopez in What to Expect When You're Expecting (J. Lo was in that movie?) but from what we remember of the Razzies, the awards usually go to whoever would be the funniest winner, and in this case, that's certainly Rihanna. We'd start preparing our acceptance speech now if we were her, just in case.
Anyway, we're sure Rihanna will be a good sport about the whole thing. After all, previous Razzie winners include such pop legends as Britney Spears, Mariah Carey, the Spice Girls and Madonna (six times!!), so Rihanna is in some fairly esteemed musician-turned-actor company here. Just hide the statue behind your many Grammys and Video Music Awards, nobody will even notice the difference.
The Trump-Twitter Industrial Complex continues to fester and mutate.
This week, President Donald J. Trump tweeted a false statement about mail-in ballots.
He wrote that secretaries of state were sending mail-in ballots to every person, when actually states are only sending out ballot applications. For the first time, Twitter jumped in to fact-check Trump's statement, adding a link to a webpage full of information about mail-in ballots.
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Rita Ora will star in the sixth installment of the Fast and the Furious series, aptly titled, The Fast and The Furious 6. Even IMDB is stumped as to how this thing hasn't died yet, but instead managed to rake in more and more cash. The 2013 film will be Ms. Ora's big screen debut—unless you caught her in the 2004 U.K. crime flick, Spivs—and her unnamed character is a role apparently once coveted by none other than Rihanna. According to the U.K.'s The Sun, Ora charmed her way through auditions enough to leave casting directors comfortable offering her the part instead of the nomadic RiRi.
She's had a busy year, with no signs of slowing down come January. So like her pseudo-big sister Beyoncé, we understand the need to let certain things go. But these career desicions aren't nearly that simple when played out in the tabloids. Shouldn't Rihanna be so mad that Rita took a part that was supposed to be hers? What would Jay-Z think? "At first Rihanna thought Rita’s 'copycat' act was sweet," a source tells The Sun. "But she kicked off after seeing the red dress Rita wore to the [EMAs]. The umbrella prop annoyed her too." As if anyone would even think to even look at an umbrella after Rihanna's dedicated her best song to the foul weather accessory.
We're all for feuds, both legitimate and for PR purposes, but to us there's no reason Rihanna should bat a heavily-mascared eyelash about this alleged copycat. If you need further proof to help you distinguish between the Bajan and the West Londoner, join us for a little "Rihanna/Rita" refresher, below. Hint: Only one has 12 No. 1 singles.
Rihanna: Ri made her big screen debut in 2012's Battleship, which wasn't great in theory or practice.
Rita Ora: The Fast and the Furious 6 won't win her an Oscar, but it might cut her a nice-looking paycheck.
Rihanna: Friday Night Lights alums Taylor Kitsch and Jesse Plemons hopefully taught Ri how to play American football.
Rita Ora: Ora can run lines with quintessential '90s supporting player turned action hero Paul Walker and Vin Diesel, who still has the power to become a Twitter meme.
Rihanna: RiRi has had a long aversion to wearing pants in public and is guilty of frequently staring at her butt.
Rita Ora: Re-ah is partial to nip slips.
Rihanna: She's hit the athletes (Los Angeles Dodgers' Matt Kemp and J.R. Smith of the New York Knicks) maybe had a fling with Drake, and might be together with, um, He Who Shall Not Be Named.
What's wrong with your left eyes, guys?
Rihanna: Where to begin? There are seven.
Rita Ora: Debut album Ora, home to current Pop-Off contender, "R.I.P."
Given the evidence, we think you still have the edge, RiRi. No need to worry about your place atop/adjacent to The Throne. But if she plans a seven-day tour to seven cities around the world, gifting hungry and tired journalists with perfume, socks and conflict-free diamonds, you're officially welcome to throw a fit.