CULTURE
The Greatest Boomer Love Story of All Time: The Saga of Bill and Linda
Witness a forbidden love played out in the public comment section of a Facebook profile picture.
07.04.2019
Who could have ever guessed that the greatest love story of the Boomer generation would play out in the comment section of a public Facebook profile picture?
Now shared over 19,000 times, the viral romance of Bill and Linda plays out like a modern, boomer take on Romeo and Juliet.
It all started when Bill––just a regular, horned up, single Boomer from Wisconsin––changed his public Facebook profile picture to WWE superstar Roman Reigns.
<p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzODg5NS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTU5OTIwNTIwMH0.kXOaW_uSSR8zDV0ZpQTfJ9dqK66wV75_D9RSsCQcXNA/img.jpg?width=980" id="f5acc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ccf0e1c05e90eb1274f5c048edf2c455" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="roman reigns ">
</p><p>
The image laid dormant for over a year, "liked" only by some lady named Lindsay, some dude named Matt, and also Bill's Mom.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzODk0Ny9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMDkxNjQxNH0.d_NRXp5arL4_45I8afd2aotOY91OnqFjoQ1FjknIsyE/img.png?width=980" id="504a1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="cd9d8e2ebb58f9bfd4ac63b63ad9c1d2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Then, Linda flowed into Bill's life like a stream of syrup sloshing onto a pancake at Waffle House. How did she find Bill's profile? Did she think he was actually Roman Reigns? Whatever the reason, love works in mysterious ways. Linda responded to the picture with a robot thumbs up. Then she asked Bill if he had "hangouts" and wanted to go there to talk.
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Bill responded, "Bars," presumably because he thought Linda was asking him where he liked to hang out. This brief interaction was enough for Bill to realize he loved Linda, which he expressed with two "I Love You" emojis. Linda asked if he really did.
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"Yeah baby," said Bill.
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Linda accepted Bill's feelings. In fact, she loved Bill too. But fate had a twist in store. Linda was married. Bill asked her outright about this hitch in their plans. Linda admitted she was married, but not happy.
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"...he's mental and calls me names and s**t baby," Linda explained.
</p><p>
Bill suggested that she move to his hometown of Oshkosh, Wisconsin, but Linda told him that she didn't drive. This really turned Bill on for some reason.
</p><p>
"Oh s**t I am getting a hard-on," Bill said.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTAwMS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1ODMwMzg0MH0.HW1vHCB2hl0HwcF7jVT1kv8vU22Wi1x4ZymlM98JU9k/img.png?width=980" id="08179" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0d636679578ca3a140d4e9df38148d9b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Linda liked this. Bill continued to talk about his "hard-on" and then suggested that Linda should get a divorce. Linda agreed, so Bill wanted to talk dirty.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTEyNy9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwOTU3ODY4NX0.tODA2EfELse0zO_y_S6AiSkdnHOL8VtI_3FGNPP9iqg/img.png?width=980" id="23b9d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="78870f5b546776d49c65f237ddd948d3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Linda agreed to talk dirty in "hangouts" but quickly decided that this public Facebook profile picture comment section would be just as fine a venue. And so they did.
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"Want to suck your big d**k," said Linda.
</p><p>
"I'll f**k ur t*ts, a** p***y and mouth," replied Bill, so excited that he forgot to continue using punctuation.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTE0MC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzODE3OTU2N30.PVnm5Z-XsxSOyOjcg42UaUkcI1MICNMUcIgfPdoHUWY/img.png?width=980" id="db0ea" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c1944973e6dee04306a6ceb87ffc669f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Their romance took a sad turn when Bill mentioned that he wanted to impregnate Linda.
</p><p>
"I have sad news about that," said Linda. "I can't have baby's [sic]."
</p><p>
Bill took the news well enough.
</p><p>
"I wanna f**k ur breasts," he replied, before suggesting they exchange pictures.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTE2Ni9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMDM2Nzk0MH0.FxcB7vAUOdmuZHksQvS-g22988A68oX4_rAvL5ll65s/img.png?width=980" id="ffddc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="65e21291f83baafe1479f45a074882ce" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>
So Linda did.
</p><p>
"Okay get ready for my t*ts," said Linda in, again, the comments section of a Facebook profile picture open to the public. Then she posted a naked selfie.
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But after a lot more sex talkin', Linda seemed to have some doubts about Bill's true intentions.
</p><p>
"Is sex all you want me for?" she asked.
</p><p>
"No," assured Bill. "I wanna get to know you better."
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTIzNC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwMzMwODMwN30.ZHlrt9rbPU_P8teQJP0bKMuWS3rXdEjww1fqNOoMo-Q/img.png?width=980" id="cd47d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="433a98c408616ecfbfd941faed72cbf3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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But Bill was lying. He admitted this a few comments later: "And I kind of lied about getting to know you better. I just want sex from you and only you."
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTI0Mi9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxMzM5NTg4M30.AincXPQAYsQRWoihPl2esvWNN0LVPrxuQLxdvH72ey8/img.png?width=980" id="de7d7" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f974d0737301c84ab3b35fcc624b0f6c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Linda remained undeterred. Their love was too strong. This made Bill very excited.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
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Bill repeatedly asking Linda if she wanted any of his expulsions really seemed to make her yearn for their future together.
</p><p>
"I fell [sic] like I am in a dream that you're not real," she said.
</p><p>
"Me too," replied Bill.
</p><p>
But then, a seed of doubt sprouted in Linda's brain.
</p><p>
"Your [sic] not playing me are you?" she asked.
</p><p>
"I'm not playing u babe," promised Bill.
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It was too late. The doubt had festered. Linda wanted to know if Bill was talking to other women. Bill admitted he was, but they were only friends "at this time."
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Luckily, Linda accepted Bill's explanation, and together, the couple weathered the storms of jealousy.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTI1OC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MTU3MTI3OX0.q3Fey2w16p3KfCnRr-JILpf7fg_J6uCc14sTWrmtwoQ/img.png?width=980" id="ba8dc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2e4ab569abbaf58a66319bf4b3a8949c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>
Linda wanted to know why Bill wanted her.
</p><p>
"Cause it so sexy," Bill told her.
</p><p>
"What so sexy?" asked Linda, not understanding.
</p><p>
Bill responded with an emoji of a confused referee for some reason.
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTI2My9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYwNzg4MDMzNX0.dzSm1k56m6LAq1_bbfYN-A0XeVQci2vsq38dfXEQFnE/img.png?width=980" id="eb6d2" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9e7907292aa59e9153d11267b783a060" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Finally, the wait was too much to bear. Linda yearned for Bill's big Boomer arms.
</p><p>
"Well come get me," she begged.
</p><p>
"Hurry up with the divorce please," Bill insisted. "As long as you are married no sorry about that."
</p><p>
Sticking to his guns, Bill proceeded to ask if Linda wore a thong. Linda did not, but clarified that she would be willing to.
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</p><p>
But true to <em>Romeo and Juliet</em>, fate is never kind to star-crossed lovers. And so Bill and Linda met their bitter enemy in the form of Bill's relative, Sharon.
</p><p>
"Do you realize that all your conversations are public?" commented Sharon. "Everybody is reading them as you type them grow up both of you."
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<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTI3My9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNDU3OTQ2Nn0.eJG4NasXMijXbac3OD6wdA2HIqyYSPrE-1-KM6cagWE/img.png?width=980" id="a57cc" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="a6823b6840a93fa600b4fc218688d58e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
</p><p>
Bill suggested that they move things to Linda's profile, which was also public. Linda said she couldn't get into her account, even though she was already commenting from it.
</p><p>
Linda professed her undying love, sending Bill a kiss emoji. But it was too late.
</p><p>
"I was playing u," said Bill.
</p><p>
"What," said Linda.
</p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTI3OC9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzIzNDA1Mn0.xMtE5T0_snRIwrHkCMJoZgjHfLDK38Ow6-OtTItUi84/img.png?width=980" id="09c0c" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1e78176cb35808617aff1367c6388d34" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
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Thus concluded the forbidden love of Bill and Linda, the greatest Boomer romance of all time.
</p><h2></h2><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-rebelmouse-image">
<img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTYzOTM0OC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NDQzMDc4OX0.dcL3vkLdv-V3HonI5--J0lXplJtuVUQnxdpYU3TFNks/img.jpg?width=980" id="7dfbe" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="ba812fa96a0589ffbaa51da2c9ad4c6a" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image">
<small class="image-media media-caption" placeholder="Add Photo Caption...">Linda pining after Bill instead of her husband.</small>
</p>
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Music Features
CeeLo Green Has Less Than Zero Room to Criticize Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion
The "I Think You're Crazy Singer" has come through with another tone deaf take.
08.12.2020
Singer-Songwriter CeeLo Green, AKA Thomas Callaway, has one of the best voices in the music industry.
It's why he was chosen as one of the original celebrity coaches on The Voice. He can hit notes that other singers wouldn't dream of and deliver them with some serious power. But too often the way he chooses to use that impressive voice is...not great.
When the Gnarls Barkley singer isn't harkening back to the golden era of soul music with breathy tones and soaring notes, he's harkening back to the fetid era of old school misogyny, with takes that are completely tone deaf.
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</script></center><p></p><p>Take, for instance, <a href="https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/ceelo-green-interview-gnarls-barkley-music-today/" target="_blank">his recent interview with <em>Far Out Magazine</em></a>, promoting his new album, <em>Ceelo Green Is Thomas Callaway</em>, during which he took a break from patting himself on the back ("My music is believable, it's real, it's authentic, it's convincing, it's genuine, it's integrable, it's commendable") to throw some shade at three of the most prominent Black women working in music today: Nicki Minaj, Cardi B, and Megan Thee Stallion.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-632"></div>
<!-- End Ezoic - undersecond12 - under_second_paragraph --></p><p>Setting aside the fact that his complaint that music has "regressed" and no longer meets his "personal and moral" standards has been around for as long as people have been getting old—CeeLo turned 45 this year—his specific accusations against these icons are pure cringe. Calling Nicki Minaj one of the "heads of state," he claimed that the way she approaches her career "feels desperate."</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-634"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent11 - mid_content --></p><div id="931df" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6e96bfeb4246d1dc322cf10efc1e5658"><blockquote class="twitter-tweet twitter-custom-tweet" data-twitter-tweet-id="830936867788972033" data-partner="rebelmouse"><div style="margin:1em 0">When Cee Lo Green looks like a Ferrero Rocher. #GRAMMYs https://t.co/NxmE8e3oTd</div> — Cal (@Cal)<a href="https://twitter.com/Panayisalad/statuses/830936867788972033">1486945761.0</a></blockquote></div><p>By way of contrast, a move that is not at all desperate is a man in his 40s—who hadn't had a hit in six years—rebranding as "Gnarly Davidson" and <a href="https://variety.com/2017/music/news/ceelo-green-grammys-gold-outfit-memes-1201986670/" target="_blank">attending the Grammys coated in gold, with some bizarre head gear</a>. That's what CeeLo did in 2017. <strong>Because looking like an off-brand C-3PO is a sign of artistic integrity.</strong><br></p><p>CeeLo's main complaint seems to be with these women's open embrace of their sexuality, saying, "There was once a time when we were savvy enough to code certain things. We could express to those it was meant for with the style of language we used. But now music is shameless, it is sheer savagery."</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-635"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent2 - long_content --></p><p>In particular he calls out Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, accusing them of using "salacious gesturing to kinda get into position." CeeLo joins the prestigious ranks of people like <a href="https://www.popdust.com/3-worst-ben-shapiro-quotes-2640383704.html" target="_self">Ben Shapiro</a> in criticizing the explicit sexuality in the music of the <a href="https://www.popdust.com/cardi-b-and-megan-thee-stallion-2646922542.html" target="_self">"WAP" collaborators</a>.</p><h4>Music Used to Be Clean!</h4><p>But even if he finds himself in some awful company—and has since issued a half-assed apology via Instagram—maybe he has a point? Like, was there a need for explicit language like "wet-ass p****?" Back in the day musicians could cover adult topics with coded language, as in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaFfJSC6uz8" target="_blank">Dinah Washington's 1954 single "Big Long Slidin' Thing,"</a> which was about her boyfriend's trombone…</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-636"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent22 - long_content --></p><p class="shortcode-media shortcode-media-youtube">
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<small class="image-media media-caption" placeholder="Add Photo Caption...">Cardi B - WAP (w/ Ben Shapiro) [iMarkkeyz Edit]</small>
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</p><p>Or, if they had really wanted to sing a song celebrating their bodies, they could have used the kind of clever double entendre that British Jazz musician Harry Roy used in his <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIfcKy-VcXo" target="_blank">1931 song "My Girl's P****"</a>. Wait? Why is that censored? He was talking about her cat!<br></p><p>The reality is that standards change over time. A word that used to have a polite primary meaning that provided a tenuous cover for sexual subject matter is now considered purely obscene. At the time, a title like "My Girl's P****" probably raised some eyebrows, but the idea of a song like CeeLo's 2010 "**** You" would have been unthinkable.</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-637"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent3 - longer_content --></p><p>Likewise, the long tradition of using clever sexual language to shock and amuse audiences hasn't gone anywhere, but modern audiences would probably find the old way of doing that through labored, winking metaphors corny. We prefer lines like, "He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it / I let him taste it, now he diabetic."</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-638"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent33 - longer_content --></p><p>At least these days we can <a href="https://www.vulture.com/2020/08/we-asked-a-gyno-about-wap.html" target="_blank">celebrate the anatomical realities of healthy genitalia</a>, unlike Harry Roy who said of his girlfriend's "cat," "No matter what the weather's like / It's always dry and warm" (you might be doing something wrong then, Harry). <strong>Standards change, and if that means treating sexual content with less shame and secrecy, isn't that a good thing?</strong> Maybe we can all just figure out how to enjoy this kind of music without exposing it to children who are too young to appreciate its message.</p><p></p><center><script async="" src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script><!-- Popdust Mobile Banner 320x100 --><ins class="adsbygoogle" style="display:inline-block;width:320px;height:100px" data-ad-client="ca-pub-4301469008561137" data-ad-slot="6952751205"></ins><script>
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</script></center><p></p><p>As for CeeLo, would he have been offended by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlZqfNNtvVM" target="_blank">the 1951 hit "Sixty Minute Man" by Billy Ward and His Dominoes</a>? That song featured lyrics boasting, "There'll be fifteen minutes of kissin' / Then you'll holler 'Please don't stop' / There'll be fifteen minutes of teasin' / Fifteen minutes of squeezin' / And fifteen minutes of blowin' my top."</p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-639"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent4 - longest_content --></p><h4>A History of Bad Takes</h4><p>Is that the kind of "code" CeeLo misses, or is it just the fact that women are now allowed to be "salacious" and brag about their sexual prowess that bothers him? CeeLo claims to "get it" when it comes to "the independent woman and being in control, the divine femininity and sexual expression," but then he asks, "at what cost?" Which is another way of saying "I definitely don't get it."</p><p>Of course, this is hardly the first time CeeLo Green has let his toxic masculinity show. In 2011, after music journalist Andrea Swensson published a review that was critical of a lackluster concert performance, <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/voices-cee-lo-green-responds-202966" target="_blank">CeeLo tweeted at her</a>, <strong>"I'm guessing ur gay? And my masculinity offended u? well **** U!"</strong></p><div id="821c8" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="6169882c15c6bf69c8ee68d190865db6"><blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="4" style=" background:#FFF; border:0;
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</div></blockquote></div><p>And, of course, we can't forget why CeeLo left the voice in 2013. Supposedly it was an "amicable" parting of the ways that just happened to line up with a legal case in which <a href="https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/the-juice/6738230/ceelo-green-the-voice-heart-blanche-interview" target="_blank">CeeLo was accused of slipping a woman drugs in a restaurant and sexually assaulting her.</a><br></p><p><div id="ezoic-pub-ad-placeholder-640"> </div>
<!-- End Ezoic - incontent44 - longest_content --></p><p>Regardless of the facts of that case—he accepted one charge of "furnishing a controlled substance"—the way CeeLo addressed it on Twitter was, to borrow his phrase, "disappointing on a personal and moral level." He claimed, <strong>"Women who have really been raped REMEMBER!!!"</strong></p><p>He would later delete that tweet, but a couple days after the fact his <em>TBS</em> reality show <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/celebrity/ceelo-greens-tbs-show-good-life-canceled-after-tweet-rant-n194076" target="_blank"><em>CeeLo Green's The Good Life</em> was canceled</a>, along with multiple concert appearances. His career never really recovered, which may explain why he's now coming after three women with much higher profiles than his own. Is he just trying to start beef and garner some headlines? Because if that's the move, it "feels desperate."</p><h2></h2><p><em>CeeLo Green Is Thomas Callaway</em> premiered in June to widespread indifference. "WAP," meanwhile, has sold nearly a million copies in its first week and is slated to be among the biggest debuts in decades.</p>
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