MUSIC

From Lizzo's Tiny Purse to Selena Gomez's Shaky Return: The Internet's Hottest AMA Takes

In terms of memes, the AMAs didn't disappoint. In other respects, of course it disappointed. It's the AMAs.

Billie and Dua Lipa at the AMAs 2019 #billieeilish #dualipa #shorts

As we know, the Internet is the world's most accurate and knowledgeable arbiter of talent, and Twitter users and entertainment bloggers are the definitive arbiters of taste and quality.

Also, the AMAs are notorious for selecting top-tier talent, never catering to the whims of the music industry and their own moneyed interests, but rather elevating the voices of artists who deserve to be honored...That said, here's what the Internet had to say about the AMAs.

1. Selena Gomez's performance was off-key—but it wasn't her fault

After nearly two years away from the stage, Selena Gomez returned to perform her new song "Lose You to Love Me." The Internet immediately responded with harsh criticism, calling her performance off-key, but many leapt to her defense, arguing that nerves and her long absence from performing played a role.

Apparently, the performance was plagued by technical difficulties from start to finish, and Gomez also had a "panic attack" before the show, according to E! News. Fortunately, Gomez seemed to be doing well later in the night, and, after hearing about the technical difficulties, fans have swarmed to her defense.

2. Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello gave us more of the same

Heterosexual icons Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are milking their "Señorita" success for all it's worth, and they brought the same recipe to the AMAs. Unfortunately, the repetition caused fans to actually listen to the song instead of being mesmerized by Cabello's hair and Mendes' biceps, which caused some confusion and doubts.


3. Lizzo's purse was the best part of the entire show

Lizzo's tiny purse made headlines in TIME magazine, CNN, Harper's Bazaar, Jezebel, Buzzfeed, and many other major news sources, many of which argued that the purse was "the best part of the entire show," so if anything, that ought to tell you something about the show. It also inspired a flurry of delicious memes.

Admittedly, the purse was pretty iconic. Maybe we can all resolve to belch extra-tiny amounts of fossil fuels into the atmosphere next.


4. Taylor Swift "avoided controversy"

Taylor Swift won Artist of the Decade at the AMAs and, after asking the entire Internet for help and gaining sympathy and support from everyone from Elizabeth Warren to Cher, it turned out that she was able to triumph over adversity in order to perform her old hits. She also won all five of the awards she was nominated for and became the most awarded artist in the history of the AMAs.

5. Post Malone is adorable

Post Malone won the award for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop album for Hollywood's Bleeding, but he also won the award for king of good vibes when the camera caught him dancing along to Shania Twain's medley.

All in all, Posty had a great night. He performed with Ozzy Osbourne and Travis Scott, and during his album acceptance speech, he solidified his place in awards show history with a peculiar closing line. Just as he was finishing up, he said, "We love you very much and I love grapes."

This sparked a flurry of speculation about the meaning of that cryptic phrase and also caused the Internet to conclude that Post Malone is someone who would be really fun to have a beer with. Maybe we should just elect Post Malone for president; after all, the mark of a great elected official is how fun they'd be to have a beer with. Right?



6. BTS won big, and the ARMY can sleep well tonight

The K-pop powerhouse group won all three of the categories they were nominated in, taking home the awards for Favorite Social Artist, Tour of the Year, and Favorite Duo or Group. Fans were ecstatic, especially since BTS has been slighted by awards shows (cough, the Grammys) in the past.



7. Kesha, Green Day, and Shania Twain returned

The AMAs provided plenty of nostalgia to tug on the heartstrings of their older viewers. Kesha returned to blow everyone away with her hit "Tik Tok"; Green Day celebrated the 25th anniversary of the release of their album Dookie and reinvigorated emo with their performance; and Shania Twain blew everyone (most of all Post Malone) out of the water.9. Halsey threw shade at the Grammys

We all know that the AMAs are just a somehow more watered-down Grammys, and Halsey reminded us that though she won the award for Favorite Pop/Rock Song for her smash hit "Without Me," she's bitter over her Grammys snub and disillusioned with the trappings of fame and awards on the whole.

In spite of her speech, most people were impressed with her performance.

8.Lil Nas X made everyone emotional

Despite being 20 years old and set for life thanks to the success of his very first single, the wunderkind (clad in an instantly iconic neon green suit) reminded everyone that it's never too late to shine.


9. Ciara and Megan Thee Stallion invented knees

Ciara hosted, performed her new single "Melanin," rocked every one of her looks, received her first platinum plaque as a music label owner, twerked with Megan Thee Stallion (who also delivered some priceless moments), and cemented her place as an eternal star and a person entirely immune to the passage of time.





10. Billie Eilish is really scary and very talented—but she's not alt-rock

I don't think I'm alone in saying Billie Eilish is the embodiment of everything that terrifies and amazes me about Gen Z teen girls. During her first awards show performance, she literally lit the stage on fire.

Despite her talent, viewers were quick to criticize the category she won in (alt-rock).

Then again, music is perpetually changing, genre is just about as real as gender (which is to say it's not real and was created by capitalism), and all of us old folk who don't understand how Billie Eilish won for alt-rock will be dead soon or relegated to the dusty attics of "Ok Boomer" land soon enough anyway.


11. We're all going to be telling our kids about this someday

Apparently nobody's sticking to their vow not to have kids until we stop the climate crisis, because almost every performance in the AMAs become the subject of a "gonna tell my kids" meme. Poor kids.








MUSIC

SEVENTEEN Satirizes Pop Music with New Album "An Ode"

"An Ode" is still a really good pop record, though.

SEVENTEEN wants you to know they've grown up.

[M/V] SEVENTEEN(세븐틴) - HITwww.youtube.com

They're no longer the charismatic lovesick teens depicted in "Oh My!," and they no longer have the relentless optimism of "Call Call Call." Ok, they're still charismatic as hell, but it's more complicated now. Summer is over, and Seventeen has been on an absolute tear in the K-pop scene since they began. "I want a new level," the hip hop unit raps on "Hit," their latest comeback single and intro to the boy band's third album An Ode. "We're so hot," the vocal unit sings on the refrain, (the 13 members are divided into three separate units: vocal, rap and performance.) The members of the K-pop ensemble are painfully aware of how talented they are; every release since their debut in 2015 has shot them further and further into the stratosphere of superstardom. But they want a new challenge. They're bored with how easy it is to make good pop songs. "Hit, hit, hit, hit, hit sound," they sing on the chorus.

It's hard to hear An Ode's "Hit" as anything but satirical considering the "wow, wow, wows," the autotune, the abrasive EDM instrumental, and the rap unit stating blatantly that "this is a hit."

It becomes difficult to distinguish whether the boys are genuinely pushing "HIT" as their big crossover smash, or if they're just making fun of the formulaic ease with which popular music is made. While impeccably well-choreographed, the music video is a mish-mash of classic western pop archetypes, like aggressive rain-dancing. Right before the chorus takes hold, the ensemble calls out, "From this day forth, we're free, jump!" which is a melody that sounds eerily similar to the way the Backstreet Boys chanted, "Backstreet's back, alright!"

Regardless, the "Carats," as their fans are called, are eating it up. To point out the formulaic nature of their music is not to say that SEVENTEEN doesn't deserve the same acclaim as other K-pop groups. Their music, while thematically much more focused on the stresses that fame brings, is melodically primed for western radio. "Network Love" is a tight, tropical house-infused pop song that shows the vocal unit in their prime. "247" is a fantastic R&B slow jam, and "Snap Shot" sounds like Chance The Rapper and The Jonas Brothers made a musical baby.

An Ode is a compelling pop record that paints a more complicated narrative than your average K-pop group. In fact, it seems painfully easy for SEVENTEEN to make radio hits, which isn't exactly a bad problem for a boy band hoping to find international fame.

An Ode

MUSIC

BTS Isn't Paving the Way with Its BMA Nominations

If artists who sometimes contribute to their music is the low standard for groundbreaking K-pop, then sure, BTS is at the top.

BTS at the American Music Awards

Photo by Featureflash Photo Agency (Shutterstock)

The BTS Army is rejoicing, as their boy kings are nominated for their first Billboard Music Award for Top Duo/Group.

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