B.S.

Something's Rotten in the House of Drew: Justin Bieber's Starting a Cult

Bieber's new fashion line screams of ripped off Yeezy, POW uniforms, and the lost innocence of 2010's "Baby" fans.

Justin Bieber is finally embracing his full potential.

On Tuesday, the singer's much-awaited clothing line, Drew House, debuted online. The apparel exacerbates the same slouchy, oversized look as Kanye's Yeezy line, but its mental asylum color scheme suggests that Bieber is evolving his cult following into an actual cult. Officially trademarked as the House of Drew, the brand is swathed in beige, corduroy, and Bieber's signature deranged smiley face logo bearing his middle name. The 24-year-old has created a fashion line that screams of ripped off Yeezy, POW uniforms, and the lost innocence of 2010's "Baby" fans.

But Drew House's inflated price points confirm that mega-success in the music industry qualifies anyone to market their bad taste as high fashion. Starting at $48 for a T-shirt and sliding up to $148 for plain corduroy pants, the brand's website captures its commitment to the comedy bit called fashion. Its About Us section reads, "Drew House is a place where you can be yourself. Blah blah blah blahsdbksjdfhl. Wear like you don't care. Come chill. K. Bye."

Some fans felt duped after looking forward to the full line's release since last month's preview, which featured a simple pair of slippers donning the branded emoji, that cost only $4.99. The company's marketing campaign seems hellbent on swaddling gangs of dead-eyed, unsmiling Beliebers (who have yet to find their purpose like the movement promised in 2010) in colors of prison-beige and one possessed doodle.

But aside from all that, the most irksome aspect of Bieber's clothing line is the lack of originality. Anyone who's ever shuffled into Walmart at 1 AM, sockless and in sleepwear, has borne a striking resemblance to one of Bieber's models. Come to think of it, so does Walmart's mascot:

So does the symbol of a fictional murderer in Alan Moore's Watchmen:

So does the symbol of real-life murderers from The Smiley Face Killers:

It's confirmed. Something's rotten in the House of Drew.


Meg Hanson is a Brooklyn-based writer, teacher and jaywalker. Find Meg at her website and on Twitter @megsoyung.


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Amal Clooney will let you join her for a power lunch, at a modest price of just $2,200! In Clooney dollars, this is equal to a small designer handbag. The money will get you a meet-and-greet, and a photo with Amal herself!

This exciting opportunity will take place in October, when Amal is speaking on workplace equality at the Women World Changers Summit in Australia.

Tickets for the conference are $895, but who among us would hesitate to shell out for the VIP meet-Amal package at only $2,200?

Really, the price is minuscule compared to the cost of dinner with Amal and George at their Hillary Clinton fundraising bash. Tickets for that event went for $44,000, but one special couple paid $353,000 to sit with the Clooneys.

Before marrying George Clooney in 2014, Amal was just a junior lawyer with a penchant for short skirts and high-profile human rights cases. While once she was happy to advise dictators and to wear the same outfit more than once, Amal has been elevated by her marriage to celebrity status.

She has been busy flying around giving talks and press conferences, and appearing beside George at red carpet events.

Earlier this week, People reported that Amal doesn't work with a stylist, but rather hand picks every outfit herself. This fiction was passed on by William Banks-Blaney, founder of WilliamVintage, an upscale boutique that has become a favorite of Mrs. Clooney. He confided in an interview:

Amal has impeccable taste and understands fashion perfectly, irrespective of whether the piece is from WilliamVintage or from the contemporary collections.

Amal has been shopping at Williams since 2015, so it looks like her impeccable taste emerged only after marrying. But that happens, right?

In any case, Amal's stylist is John Galliano’s long-time partner, Alexis Roche. But if she wants credit for picking out the over-priced and age-inappropriate frocks and accessories she's been splurging on, so what.

Amal has reinvented herself, which is hard work, and if she's a little caught up in her own PR, let's forgive her.

Now, what's for lunch??

 

Amal Clooney took a break from her busy shopping schedule to meet the Pope on Sunday, at a Vatican event honoring George's work for an arts foundation.

The other honorees besides George Clooney were actors Richard Gere and Salma Hayek.

Amal wore a lace dress by Atelier Versace for the occasion, with a pleated turban-style hat. She was clearly delighted to meet the Pontiff but looked a bit downcast when she was not the center of attention. Sitting next to Hayek, who felt no need to cover her head, the turbaned human rights lawyer appeared to need either a stiff drink or an anti-depressant.

Just a day earlier, Amal and George were seen dining out in Rome, where Mrs. Clooney showed off her $6,300 Giambattista Valli frock for the appreciative paparazzi. She chose a pair of $720 pumps by the same designer. George had to drag her into the car as she attempted to cast her radiant smile upon one last photographer.

It's nice to see a professional woman take such care with her style, isn't it? Who ever said human rights lawyers need to be frumpy? Amal is determined to prove that money is no object when it comes to dispelling that old stereotype.

Perhaps there was some kind of pre-nup contract wherein Amal promised to spend as much money on clothes as humanly possible. George appears to be quite happy to squire her around from event to event, and photo op to photo op.

Amal has attended events on her own in the last few months, meeting with news reporters and speaking to various professional groups, but she never shines as much as when she's on her husband's dutiful arm.

In fact, on Sunday evening after meeting the Pope, Amal and George were out on the town again, to showcase Amal's off-the-shoulder striped duchesse silk-satin mini dress ($2,695) from the Monse fall 2016 collection. She accessorized with a $963 clutch by Jimmy Choo and silver Dior shoes.

If we stopped to add up Amal's weekly fashion expenditures, we might be upset by the gratuitous amount of money thrown around in the name of blatant attention seeking...so let's not!

Keep up the good work, Amal! Spending money is a human right worth defending, and we thank you for taking it so seriously.

 

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Khloe Kardashian reached out by Twitter and Instagram with a casting call for would-be models to star in promotions for her new denim brand, the GA Project.

She announced the worldwide search with a classic pouty selfie, captioned:

I'm looking for beautiful, powerful women to star with me in a campaign for my new denim brand! Details at theGAproject.com.

A visit to the brand's website reveals the nature of Khloe's exciting project: a new definition of sexy.

Uh oh. I smell trouble. Do we need a new definition of sexy?

Hasn't the Kardashian/Jenner family given us enough new definitions of things we had already defined satisfactorily before they came along?

I don't like the word 'powerful', when used by a Kardashian woman. I'm taking it as a euphemism for 'monstrous.' But that's just me.

Here's the brand's mission statement - actually, more of a manifesto - in full.

The Body Revolution is here.

There is a new definition of sexy. The shape we lust for has curves, not the body of the Fashion Establishment. Some call it a new silhouette, we just think of it as embracing the body you were given.

We do not look to authoritarian fashion titles for guidance. Our content is unedited. It is about celebrating one another. We create movements because we no longer follow the same old leaders. Knocking down stereotypes when we prove that gorgeous can be powerful and intelligent can be sensual.

We believe in America and we believe in our community. We are all good regardless of our shape or heritage. Our story starts today.

WOW! Who wrote this, Donald Trump?

It looks like Khloe wants to be the Donald Trump of denim, a slot that we stupidly failed to anticipate.

And she wants to make American women great again, in their non-stereotypical  intelligent-but-sensual denim.

Fight the Power!

If you're up for this revolution, go to the GAproject website and fill out their application form, which we have thoughtfully reproduced below.

Examining the Madonna new Cher mystery

Fine, Madonna has had a rough year but why does she want to be the new Cher?

We've already had Cher!

Madonna is so good at the reinvention thing, you'd think she would come up with something original!

Maybe she's decided that since Lady Gaga has veered into her lane and won't budge, she had to veer into Cher's lane.

A bad choice, Madge!

Let Cher be Cher, and you be....just don't be Cher.

It's no surprise that Madge wants us to see her noteworthy bosom.

We have admired them now for decades.

But it's time to put them away. Most of us would rather close our eyes and visualize them.

Less nude bosom is so much more at a certain age, and same goes with your Sitting Down Area.

In creative writing, the rule is Show, Don't Tell.

For Madonna, the rule is reversed. Please!

Her outfit at the Met Gala on Monday night is nothing less than a desperate cry for attention help.

Let's not  stoop to throwing in Rocco here, okay? We are better than that.

Sure, Madge is embarrassing him but she's embarrassing all of us and we're not running off to live with our dads.

No one expects Madonna to be dignified. She's not Helen Mirren for god-sake.

Helen Mirren already has the Helen Mirren Lane, anyway.

We have worried at times that Madonna was poised to become the post-modern Mae West, but perhaps that's not a bad idea.

Being Mae West means using your age as part of the joke.

It's so much better to be in on the joke than to BE the joke. Hear what I'm saying, Madge?

Does Madonna need an intervention? Who would she listen to?

We could probably get Guy Ritchie, Sean Penn, Lourdes, Diplo, that dancer who tripped her, a couple of ex-Boytoys....

WAIT! Let's just get  Cher!

Can't you just hear Cher advising Madge to knock it off?

Maybe Cher could slap her like in Moonstruck

Okay, perfect.

Shout out to Cher, hashtag MadonnaIntervention.

We need you, Cher. Please get back to us before the next Met Gala!

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The annual Met Gala is easily the most anticipated event in the world of fashion, and the celebrity attendees did not let us down on Monday night.

Let's jump right in to the evening's worst looks, spearheaded by this year's co-chair Taylor Swift.

Taylor went for a punky futuristic look and the result was disastrous. A hideous mini dress by Louis Vuitton that mixed metallic snakeskin, flounces, leather and cut-outs looked like a cheap Halloween costume, and the strappy gladiator high heeled sandals upped the awfulness. Her new platinum hair and dark purple lipstick should teach girls not to mess with a winning style.

Competing with Taylor for Worst Look was indie recording artist and overall darling Grimes. Grimes really brought the hideous. Her outfit was also by Louis Vuitton, who may have been expressing some kind of death wish.

But as ugly as Grimes' look was, she was playing to her base, demonstrating her fearless rejection of mainstream beauty. Grimes is saying 'Ha ha!' with her WTF get-up, whereas Taylor is saying 'Oh my god, am I hot!'

Diane Von Furstenberg won the Crazy Cat Lady award, usually snagged by Sarah Jessica Parker, who settled for a boring, wannabe Hamilton costume.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West arrived fashionably late in order to guarantee attention, as if her clunky Balmain silver robot gown and his wildly inappropriate torn jeans could escape the eye. While we're on eyes, check out Kanye's bright blue contact lenses. Oooooh, right?

Kimye didn't rank anywhere near either worst or best, but no celebrity event is complete without them so that's what they're doing here. Kim will be mad that she looked so huge after losing all her baby weight but that's not our problem!

Now, the best. Because Rihanna was away on tour, Beyonce had no competition. Behold Bey in peach latex by Givenchy. Ta da!

For all the Red Carpet pix and to vote for your favorite,head straight to Vogue.