Two days ago, Gillette, the razor company, released their new Super Bowl spot on YouTube.

Its title, "We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film)," lets you know that this isn't just another commercial. No sir, this is a short film. Gillette isn't just about selling razors anymore. Gillette is about real issues affecting real men. Gillette is woke. So listen up, dude, because Gillette is slicing up some hard truths: toxic masculinity is bad.

Here's the deal: Pretty much nobody likes this commercial—sorry, short film. The problem isn't that it's offensive. The message behind it— that "boys will be boys" is a damaging sentiment that holds men to a lower standard, and that we should be better than that— is spot on. The problem is that it seems disingenuous and pandering coming from a company owned by Procter & Gamble. These issues are too important to be paraded out in a ploy to get us to buy branded razors.

That's not to say the people behind the campaign don't genuinely care about toxic masculinity and the myriad ways in which it negatively impacts both men and women. But if you're actually a woke dude™, you don't need a razor company to tell you toxic masculinity is bad; you already know. And if you're not a woke dude, you're probably not going to become enlightened by a corporation whose primary interest is making money.

Make no mistake, the ad is a bust, missing its target audience completely.

THAT BEING SAID...

Some men are mad about the campaign for a different reason: Gillette is clearly attacking masculinity.

Take professional waste-of-space Piers Morgan, for instance:

Imagine seeing a razor commercial that basically says, "hey guys, let's be nice to each other and not sexually harass women," and thinking, "this is a global assault on masculinity." Imagine that headspace. You would have to be so delusional, so completely immersed in your own victim-complex, that you internalize any piece of commentary on a well-documented phenomena affecting most women as a personal attack.

But Piers Morgan isn't alone in crying about his manflake feewings being hurt by a commercial. Former talented actor and current total nut job James Woods is also getting in on the fun:

Ah, yes, the "men are horrible campaign," the one that, after decades of powerful men getting away with sexual abuse, is finally holding some of them accountable. James Woods is right. Men should be mad! How dare we not be able to assault women unchallenged! Isn't that what it means to be a man? We spit and fart and beat people up and allegedly try to leverage our celebrity to pick up underage girls. And we'll be damned if a stinking razor blade commercial tries to take that away from us.

Some pathetic, non-famous dudes are also mad that their precious manhood is being cut off by big bad Gillette. They've been posting their outrage under #GilletteFAIL.

We're talking about pillars of masculinity here, men to emulate.

Guys who know that the most victimized men are the white ones.

Guys who think "soyboy" and "cuck" are insults instead of confessions of deep-seated insecurity.

Guys who definitely don't have manginas.

And of course, guys who are protesting by not shaving their handsome, oh-so-manly faces.

Let's be honest here. If you claim to value traditional masculinity, but then proceed to get so deeply shaken by a commercial that you need to cry about it on twitter, you are not a reflection of your own values. You are a whiner. You are a complainer. You are a little baby crying into a void and your diaper needs changing. So sure, the Gillette ad may be "virtue signaling," but to the toxic "men" who are so, so offended by it: you're proving their point.

Oh, and check out the video above because as bad as corporate pandering may be, toxic dudes are a whole lot worse.

Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com

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