Hollywood's love of reboots doesn't have to be depressing.
Eddie Murphy's 1988 movie Coming to America is the latest classic movie to get a Hollywood revival decades later.
At this point it's a familiar formula. Rather than investing any money in the risk of an original concept, a film studio will dig up a beloved movie—long after anyone was expecting anything out of it—and run it through the reboot assembly line.
Some things just don't go together.
We all remember how mortified we felt in 2019 when Adam Levine and Travis Scott started bouncing around the stage together, Levine strumming a few power chords on the guitar, trying to excite a crowd that he knew was vehemently disinterested in him.
But the embarrassment we felt for the Maroon 5 frontman's dated rocker boy antics didn't distract us from seeing the performance in its shirtless, misogynistic entirety. There's a particular sort of dread that comes when celebrities clash–when fans' rose-tinted glasses come off and we witness something highly anticipated dissolve into a debacle. We can't look away, as much as we so desperately want to.
In music especially there's been a slew of uncomfortable collaborations that we can't believe actually happened. Fergie actually butchered "Sweet Child O' Mine" next to Slash himself at Super Bowl XLV in front of millions of people. We didn't just have a fever dream.
Here are other absurd music collaborations that should never have happened, but unfortunately did.
Justin Bieber and Busta Rhymes<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="974275f31d195610de9994a497863758"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/txpdpWyY2xg?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>Off of Bieber's oddly beloved 2011 Christmas album, <em>Under The Mistletoe</em>, the Busta Rhymes collaboration on "Drummer Boy" was a lost cause once the high-hats started kicking from the tracks start. At first glance, it's easy to think that a splash of high hat drums is the only slight variation to the 1940 carol, but then the song completely breaks down and mutates into an agonizing hip-hop beat, with Bieber spitting bars like: "I'm surprised you didn't hear this from the bible / I'm so tight I might go psycho." </p><p>Busta Rhymes serves as a splash of gasoline on the already raging dumpster fire, merely telling the story about how he came to be featured on this song and just not mentioning Christmas at all: "At the table with the family, havin' dinner / Blackberry on our hip and then it gave a little flicker / Then I took a look to see before it activates the ringer / Came to realize my homie Bieber hit me on Twitter." The whole ordeal is just bizarre.</p>
Dolly Parton and Sylvester Stallone<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e9a9e5f4c59bdcaa824933e895cd49ca"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tKJpj2uqZ5E?start=24&rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>The best movie plot ever: Jake Farris (Dolly Parton) a down and out country singer stuck performing at a sleazy urban cowboy nightclub in the Big Apple, tells the club manager that she bets the remainder of her contract she can turn anyone into a country star in two weeks. The club manager agrees to the bet, but if she loses then another five years will be added to her tenure, and she'll have to sleep with him. He also gets to pick the man, so he picks Rambo.</p><p>A critical and commercial failure, 1984's <em>Rhinestone </em>should never have happened. Sylvester Stallone's tone-deaf grumbles cripple every ounce of charm this movie could have had, even when Parton's talent swoops in to save the day. The film went on to be nominated for five Golden Raspberry Awards, winning Worst Actor (Stallone) and Worst Song ("Drinkenstein.") </p>
Brad Paisley and LL Cool J<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7d047a80c2b13d15c2a95c6a4a2e2602"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/KSurzeGvPrQ?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>The title of the song alone is enough to warrant a fat cancellation in 2020, but the song itself, a country power ballad that equates slavery to the fight "of yesterday," somehow finds a way to even further trivialize racism. "The relationship between the Mason-Dixon needs some fixin," raps LL Cool J in complete seriousness. "The past is the past; you feel me?"</p><p><span></span>"I think it's ludicrous to think for a second that I would ever trivialize slavery," LL said on <em>The Ellen Show</em> after the track's inevitable backlash. "I don't feel like African Americans have to be upset. I don't define myself by slavery...I just wanted to have a real honest conversation with a guy about being a human being first." The track in and of itself is a cringe ballad, but the sentiment of being an "Accidental Racist" really drove home the point that this piece of work should never have happened.</p>
Brian May and Dappy<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="91b7b8b483b5089bc0e6b49d47c3a35d"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/J5tKSeSF8-w?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>One of them is one of Rock and Roll's most famous guitarists, and the other is from N-Dubz. Apparently, May was a massive fan of Dappy's work and wrote to the rapper, telling him he should "win an Ivor Novello for lyrics." "He told me, 'You are a very different artist and unique, so carry on what you're doing. There's nobody else challenging you," Dappy said of his conversation with May.</p><p>The bizarre mash-up is like a bastard child of the <a href="https://www.popdust.com/metal-bands-2647075079.html" target="_self">Nu Metal era</a>. It sounds like the rap of B.o.B got swallowed up by Dance Gavin Dance. The result is genuinely atrocious.</p>
Eddie Murphy and Michael Jackson<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d10cf758a8c9a0fff340e680b520b142"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/D9cQOcAC_K8?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>While it has all the makings of an effective parody, 1993's "Whatzupwitu" was 100% serious. Murphy had tried his hand at making music on more than one occasion, but his third studio effort, <em>Love's Alright,</em> was particularly cringe-worthy. Jackson became involved in "Whatzupwitu" after hearing the lyrics and thinking they had a positive message ("Men ain't got no power / He kills nothing but himself / men is a creation / men is nothing else, so"). </p><p>The track's coinciding music video, which features Jackson and Murphy aimlessly floating around a computer graphic made-background that looks jankier than those on Apple's Photobooth, was ranked by<em> MTV </em>viewers in 1999 as the <a href="https://uproxx.com/tv/about-the-time-vanilla-ice-went-apesht-with-a-bat-on-the-mtv-set-and-nearly-took-out-jon-stewart/" target="_blank">third-worst music video of all time</a>. From the sad clown at the video's beginning saying "the elephant is dying" to the animated graphic of three elephants standing on top of a sea turtle while holding Earth on their backs, this collaboration simply made no logical sense.</p>
Jack White and Insane Clown Posse<span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="84be21de1ec61a455691b704694bd7e7"><iframe lazy-loadable="true" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Qk2HD8-UtO4?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span><p>In August of 2011, Jack White contacted the Posse and invited the horrorcore duo to his mansion to collaborate. The rocker showed them a track he had been working on: an absurd arrangement of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's "Leck mich im arsch," the title of which translated to "Lick My A**." </p><p>The end result is absolute chaos, with a haunting choir singing "lick my ass" alongside rocking guitars, as the ludicrous duo rap about licking butts. Yet the collaboration somehow... works? I found myself humming the track's absurd chorus afterward, so that's something, isn't it? Maybe some music is so strange, it's good.</p>
Celebrity death hoaxes are pretty funny.
Why would anybody want to make up a story about a celebrity dying, knowing fully well that it's a blatant lie?
Attention? Power? Notoriety? Such is the mystique of the celebrity death hoax, a bizarre practice whereby someone spreads a fake rumor about a famous person's death.
Of course, celebrity death hoaxes are easily dismissed, considering the fact that the celebrity in question is always alive. All the celebrity needs to do is, y'know, absolutely anything, and then everyone with a brain will think to themselves, "Oh, that celebrity can't send a tweet if he's dead, so he must be alive." But as long as they manage to last, celebrity death hoaxes can be a great source of entertainment–especially the unbelievably stupid ones.
5. Bill Nye the Science Guy<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUwNTgzMC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNzY3ODEzOH0.c6yUa7tIxfKAisJ7tQWKXs7Y_86r5Q-QZBC8ApNBzTg/img.jpg?width=980" id="58b44" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="18532f69042f2d09ccd6adb5a88326ba" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Bill Nye" />
Cornell Chronicle<p>In 2012, just three days after making one of his first viral YouTube videos speaking out against creationism, Bill Nye the Science Guy—best known for being the only good part of elementary school science lessons—was presumably struck down by God. </p><p><a href="https://www.ibtimes.com/bill-nye-science-guy-not-dead-despite-twitter-rumors-video-759125" target="_blank">"RIP Bill Nye the Science Guy" suddenly began trending on Twitter</a>. One distressed user tweeted, "WAIT, WHAT! WHY IS R.I.P. BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY TRENDING?! No way man. I loved Bill Nye. He was the only good part of science class."</p><p>Except Bill Nye was perfectly fine. So why spread the rumor?</p><p>As far as science can prove, religious beliefs are entirely predicated on fiction, and even if God is real, he presumably doesn't give a sh!t whether or not Bill Nye the Science Guy is debunking creationism on YouTube. Still, it's funny to think that some dude was so peeved at Bill Nye's video that he started a death hoax.</p>
4. Jon Bon Jovi<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUwNTgyOS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMjIzNjU5MH0.vK-H2rtNLHBPdxmo_p_HTLgVkuI8hQjQAq4x5P6Qitg/img.jpg?width=980" id="6836f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="7d276f0eeadadbfcb78c46787a365b61" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Jon Bon Jovi" />
EDUARDO PARRA/WIREIMAGE.COM<p>In 2011, glam rock star and steel horse-riding cowboy Jon Bon Jovi allegedly went into a coma at a hotel. Bon Jovi immediately refuted this, releasing a photo of himself holding a sign that said, "Heaven looks a lot like New Jersey." </p><p>In and of itself, this is one of the most bland, boring death hoaxes out there. Imagine having the free reign to pick any cause of death for a guy who sings about being a cowboy who rides a steel horse and settling on "coma." Very lame.</p><p>What makes the Jon Bon Jovi death hoax so interesting is the fact that <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/jon-bon-jovi-death-rumor-jeffrey-goho-276548" target="_blank">Jeffrey Goho, a small time musician from Pennsylvania, public outed himself as the guy who started it</a>. </p><p>"All I heard was 'Bon Jovi this,' 'Bon Jovi's starting a restaurant,' said Goho. "What was the latest one? The Advil commercial? It was like, 'Jeez, Bon Jovi was a household name due to music, not business."</p><p>Apparently this dweeb was just really upset off that Bon Jovi did an Advil commercial, which begs the question: Why didn't he say Bon Jovi died from an Advil overdose?</p>
3. Eddie Murphy<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUwNTgyNy9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNzk3MjUyOH0.YcxbUcus0a9ravBooubXOD1sLxi6HvAfOzyDF-P8uhU/img.jpg?width=980" id="3a938" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="10e906b5ad604b826c6047bc41a3f59e" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Eddie Murphy" />Comedians In Cars w. Jerry Seinfeld & Eddie Murphy ‑ LA Tastemaker
Emma McIntyre/Getty Images<p>For whatever reason, celebrity death hoaxes become a lot more prominent right after another celebrity actually dies for real. Thus, when <em>Fast & Furious </em>star Paul Walker tragically died in a car crash, some people also decided that <em><a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/paul-walker-tragedy-sparks-eddie-murphy-death-hoax-8983035.html" target="_blank">Shrek </a></em><a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/paul-walker-tragedy-sparks-eddie-murphy-death-hoax-8983035.html">star Eddie Murphy died in a snowboarding accident</a>. </p><p>(Also, before moving forward, I'd like to take a moment to point out that the linked article, which was published by <em>The Independent</em> in 2013, continually uses the term "Chinese whispers" to refer to the children's game "telephone." <a href="https://www.gladstoneobserver.com.au/news/from-long-time-no-see-to-bugger-these-overused-exp/3517506/" target="_blank">"Chinese whispers" is an incredibly racist term</a>, and it's kind of mind-blowing that <em>The Independent </em>was still publishing this kind of stuff only seven years ago.)</p><p>The Eddie Murphy death hoax is really great because it's just so stupid. Has Eddie Murphy ever talked about going snowboarding? That's such a specific, high-skill activity that, quite frankly, it should be expected that anyone who doesn't actively talk about snowboarding probably does not go snowboarding. If Eddie Murphy had a famous joke about snowboarding, it would kind of make sense. But he doesn't. It's so out of left field, and that's just awesome.</p>
2. Paul McCartney<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUwNTgyNi9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MTU5MTkwM30.pupf-uJ26yjXbnY6T08LOCB-Rq38alwbviMwCmGOaOA/img.jpg?width=980" id="b4f5f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="631352c2015da9c3ad4109e976d1c32c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Paul McCartney" />
Getty<p>In perhaps the most famous celebrity death hoax of all time, rumors of Paul McCartney's death began practically by accident after <a href="https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/paul-mccartney-is-dead-conspiracy-897189/" target="_blank">a Detroit DJ played the Beatles' <em>White Album </em>backwards and thought he heard the words "Turn me on, dead man."</a> People then discovered that, at the end of the coda in "Strawberry Fields Forever," John Lennon said what sounds like, "I buried Paul."</p><p>As it turned out, John was actually saying, "Cranberry sauce," but that didn't stop the rumors from devolving into full-blown conspiracy theories. Unlike other celebrity death hoaxes, especially more modern ones which are immediately debunked thanks to the trusty ol' Internet, the Paul McCartney death hoax never went away. </p><p>Even after McCartney made multiple public appearances, some people posited that he was a body double and that the real Paul McCartney really was dead. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Paul-McCartney-Really-Dead-Documentary/dp/B01CYDKEN8" target="_blank">Some lunatic even made a documentary trying to prove it</a>. There's no arguing with crazy.</p>
1. Lucas Grabeel<img lazy-loadable="true" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yMzUwNTgyNC9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MzI1NjI1Nn0.gNpdrOrl417Aw1Fw_lnoc4Z5BCongjpnR-rdbMQ6OcE/img.jpg?width=980" id="a17ce" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="8b5f2d0d708151a06d87991411b7d79c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" alt="Lucas Grabeel" />LUCAS GRABEEL
Sosugary<p>The story<strong>:</strong> In 2013, a few years after his <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Food_Boy" target="_blank">last big movie role in <em>The Adventures of Food Boy</em></a><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Adventures_of_Food_Boy"></a>, washed up <em>High School Musical </em>actor Lucas Grabeel decided to leave his Hollywood dreams behind and set out on a new adventure to find himself. After selling off all of his belongings, Grabeel bought a one-way ticket to Brazil, telling friends and family that he was going to the Amazon Rainforest in order to be "the first person to discover a new plant."</p><p>Grabeel was last seen wandering off during a group tour. His whereabouts remain unknown, but he is presumed to be dead.</p><p><strong><strong>So where did this hoax come from?</strong></strong></p><p>Me. I told this story to a bunch of people in college, because I enjoy lying to people. At least one of them believed me. See? That's how easy it is to start a celebrity death hoax.<em></em></p>
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