Time Paradoxes Will Come into Play for Another Reveal of Hidden Superpowers
As a child, I remember hearing the idea of God as a being who knows not just what I'm doing or what I have done, but what I will do for the rest of my life.
My reaction was to stay up at night picking at that idea like a scab. I would think of doing something spontaneous and unpredictable—throwing a book across my bedroom—plan on it, prepare the muscles in my arms to follow through, then slam the book shut in my lap instead.
God scene from futurama www.youtube.com
But even at that age I could tell that my sudden shifts in intention were illegitimate. I had already planned to change my mind. The kind of God I'd been led to believe in would have seen right through my pretense. Free will—the freedom to follow a course other than the one laid out for me—was incompatible with such a God. Eventually I stopped picking at that scab, and the idea seemed to have healed over—until I watched the latest episode of HBO's Watchmen last night. It was like peeling back a scar to find the wound still festering underneath. Just so it's clear, from here on out there will be spoilers.
The particular wrinkle that the episode "A God Walks into Abar" has added to this old paradox is in making Doctor Manhattan both godlike and human. He has the ability to control matter at the atomic level, to create life, to exist in multiple places and to divide his consciousness across multiple times, allowing him to seemingly predict the future. But there are limits to his powers. He is vulnerable to tachyons. He cannot know anything outside of what he will experience while his powers are intact, and all it takes for him to be stripped of his powers is for his memory of them to be suppressed—by some dubious neurosurgery.
Another issue that seems to be hinted at is that Doctor Manhattan does not truly experience all of time at once. He has access to all of it, the same way that a person with cable has access to every channel, but the number of channels he can watch at once seems to be limited, and they all seem to play out at a fixed pace.
The evidence for this is in Doctor Manhattan's laughter. When Angela Abar and Adrian Veidt contradict each other on the topic of his imagination, Doctor Manhattan chuckles at the coincidence of their synchrony, and when Angela interrogates him about the other times he's experiencing, he continually uses the verb "now," in the same way a human would use it to describe ongoing events to someone not present. If he was experiencing his entire life at once, there would be none of these coincidental synchronies—no surprises or organic reactions. Each moment would be equally tied to every other.
So, while he claims not to experience the concept of "before," the truth seems to be that his "before" is just immensely more complicated than ours. His future contains moments of awareness that precede what he knows now, and his past contains moments of awareness that reach far into the future, but he is not constantly aware of everything he will ever know. Different moments play out together across time, like multiple TVs playing different channels in the same room.
So, just as we never see him embody more than a handful of physical forms, he seems to experience only a handful of separate moments concurrently, and while he can report from the future, his behavior throughout the graphic novel and now in the new series, has consistently suggested that he cannot act in a way that will alter the future he perceives. He tells Will Reeves, in this episode, that his powers to control events are limited. After all, if he changes the events that inspire him to make those changes, he erases the knowledge that allowed him to act. This is the kind of mind-melting paradox that makes time travel such a confusing topic.
But could a god-man like Manhattan navigate the mess in order to avoid catastrophe—like Cyclops gaining his powers? Has he even tried? Having been a god for so long, detached from human motivations, he may simply have lost the will to try to change things—to destroy a timeline he knows and has already experienced. Does he believe himself incapable of changing the timeline, or does he simply prefer not to take the risk of making things messy and confusing? Because that's something else we learned in this episode: It is possible for Doctor Manhattan to be confused.
With the tachyon device removed from his skull via hammer, Jon Osterman—AKA Doctor Manhattan, AKA Angela's husband Calvin—has to relearn how to live as a god, and incorporate what he's learned as a human. With all his tremendous knowledge flooding back to him, it seems he is once again putting himself back together— mentally this time. And just as the experience of physically rebuilding himself in 1959 taught him how to access his powers, coming back to his uninhibited form after ten years as a human seems to unlock new understanding for him to process. He tells Angela, "I am experiencing confusion as a result of the device being removed, and am not entirely sure when I am."
He teleports himself to walk on the water of their backyard pool, and tells Angela this will be important later, then he teleports their children to safety—anticipating the impending shootout. He operates as a walkie-talkie-through-time for Angela and her grandfather, Will Reeves. Angela, looking for answers, accidentally incepts the idea that Judd Crawford—whom Will has never heard of—is a member of the organization Will devoted his life to defeating. And this is the defining moment of the episode.
Angela's distress about having caused the event she was trying to understand sets Manhattan off on a philosophical musing on the chicken or the egg, and the nature of his unique relationship to time—the paradoxical way in which a reaction to an event can become its cause. It no doubt also sets in motion the as-yet-unseen events of the finale, but Jon/Calvin/Doctor's immediate response is to go cook waffles.
"Watch the eggs," he tells Angela as the fridge pops open in front of her. She smashes the carton on the ground. He must have known she was going to do that—that he would not be able to finish making those waffles. He might as easily have conjured completed waffles if he had wanted to. He allowed the eggs to fall as a pretense for dropping a hint that Angela will no doubt pick up at just the right moment. Now, here come the real spoilers...
I have eaten the egg. I know what's going to happen in the finale.
What exactly does "watch the eggs" mean? The egg in the beer as Manhattan tells Angela that he can imbue a mortal with his powers through food. The egg of Calvin's suppressed memory, and of Adrian's comment that a moment of instinct may unlock his powers—which prompts Manhattan to say "Thank you, Adrian, now I understand what happened." The egg of the promised and insisted dinner—Manhattan spends his whole first night together convincing Angela to have dinner with him, yet with all the time jumps we never see the dinner take place. The chicken that will hatch is whatever tragedy is about to end their relationship.
Calvin didn't save Angela from the Kavalry shooter. He didn't zap that shooter away. Angela did it herself in that moment she blinked her eyes. Whether she knew it at the time or not, Manhattan gave her his powers at that dinner in 2009, their second night together. Perhaps she still didn't believe who he was then—he says, that first night, that he prefers for her to remain uncertain. She ingested those godlike abilities, but because she doesn't realize she has them, she cannot yet use them. When she learns what her husband has made her—when she can walk on water herself, and no longer relate to the humanity of her adopted children—will she be able to forgive him?
Jon's musing about the chicken or the egg—"The answer appears to be both at exactly the same time"—inspired him to meet Angela in the first place. To set up that dinner. To drink an egg while talking about passing on his powers. To go make waffles that he'll never finish, and tell her to "watch the eggs." Even to track down Will Reeves and have him dose Angela with Nostalgia. For all we know, he supplied the bomb that killed her parents in the moment she felt inspired by a VHS tape.
den of Geek
It is all deeply confusing, but what has become clear is that whatever tragedy ends their relationship in the next episode, it will involve Angela coming to terms with the fact that she is a god. Perhaps a better god—for her traumatic life experiences—than Manhattan could ever hope to be. Sister Night. A god with the will to fight against evil even when events seem immutable. That moment—when Manhattan tells her that their tragedy is unavoidable and she decides to fight anyway—is the moment he falls in love with her, and it's no doubt why he chose to make her a god in the first place. For the first time in Watchmen history, a hero will have superpowers. And we will see how she flies.
Watchmen 1x09 Promo "See How They Fly" (HD) Season Finale www.youtube.com
Of course there is someone else whom Jon has been feeding. A man with an all-consuming will to power—to reshape the world according to his vision. Adrian Veidt has been eating food that Doctor Manhattan created for the last ten years—including the cakes that Phillips and Crookshanks presumably pack with eggs. Is the horseshoe baked into that last cake perhaps a clue that the good Doctor has created more than one god? A good, humble Angela to oppose an evil ambitious Adrian? For that, and so much more—the millennium clock!—I don't have an answer. So you should probably tune in for the finale.
- Marvel Dates, "Stargirl," "Watchmen" Finale Teased - Dark Horizons ›
- Watchmen episode 7 review & recap: “A jaw-dropping twist sets up ... ›
- Watchmen: Season One Ratings - canceled + renewed TV shows ... ›
- Watchmen: "See How They Fly" in Season Finale Preview ›
- HBO's Watchmen: 12 Big Questions We Have After Episode 8 ... ›
- Watchmen: Episode 9 Promo | HBO - YouTube ›
- Watchmen Season Finale Trailer Teases That the End Is Nigh ... ›
- Watchmen 1x09 Promo "See How They Fly" (HD) Season Finale ... ›
- 'Watchmen' Finale, 'The Expanse': What to Watch and Stream, Dec ... ›
Protest music aside, there is a slew of good underground music out today
An invigorating slew of protest music hit the shelves today.
Detroit-based emcee Tee Grizzley collaborated with Queen Naija and the Detroit Youth Choir to craft a melodic ballad that attempts to open up a dialogue with police. Meanwhile, alt-Jazz pioneer Terrace Martin took a different approach in his collaboration with Denzel Curry, Daylyt, G Perico, and Kamasi Washington, with "Pigs Feet" being more of an angry f*ck you than an attempt at communication.
What's next for the geniuses behind the "lady-folks and jocks" model of human interest?
When I learned that Game of Thrones alum David Benioff co-wrote X-Men Origins: Wolverine–the movie that portrayed the 4th-wall-breaking antihero Deadpool as a skinhead with his mouth sewn shut–it made a lot of sense.
After all, Benioff and his GOT co-showrunner D.B. Weiss have a proven knack for treating beloved franchises like sh*t.
Finally breaking their silence after the overwhelmingly negative fan reception to the Game of Thrones series finale, Benioff & Weiss participated in a, quite frankly, baffling panel at Austin Film Festival. One Twitter user live-tweeted the discussion, wherein Benioff & Weiss almost seemed to brag about how inexperienced they were going into the project and how little respect they showed to the source material.
Highlights include Benioff & Weiss removing fantasy elements from the...you know...fantasy series in order to better appeal to "mothers" and "NFL players."
Then, right after revealing their ingenious "lady-folks and jocks" model of human interest, Benioff and Weiss abandoned the massive Star Wars project they were planning to helm in favor of their massive two million dollar deal at Netflix. But while this is certainly a boon for Star Wars fans, whose beloved franchise is now safe from the dull-blade hands of the two biggest hacks in Hollywood, it begs the question: What other franchises are now at risk of being destroyed by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss?
The Legend of Zelda
There have long been rumors that beloved Nintendo franchise, The Legend of Zelda, will be adapted for Netflix by Castlevania producer Adi Shankar. And while not everyone loves the idea of Zelda getting turned into a TV show by anyone, Castlevania is an incredibly promising example of a great animated adaptation of a great video game franchise.
But the problem with rumors is that they're unconfirmed, so here's a worst case scenario that still exists within the distinct realm of possibility:
Netflix really is putting out a show based on The Legend of Zelda, but it's being run by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Worst of all, Benioff and Weiss subscribe to a particularly venomous brand of awful whereby their work initially seems great and competent, only to sh*t all over itself halfway through once you're already invested. In other words, Benioff and Weiss aim to truly waste your time, getting you excited and then crushing all your hopes and dreams with terrible writing and ridiculous plotting.
Their Zelda adaptation would probably follow Link and Zelda as they wage battle against the evil Ganondorf in order to save Hyrule. We'd spend the first half of the story experiencing Link and Zelda's growth as characters, juxtaposed with Ganondorf's descent into madness as he's built up into an unstoppable foe. Then, halfway through, Ganondorf would get anticlimactically murdered by Tingle, who would then become the God-Emperor of Hyrule, much to everyone's chagrin. The next four seasons would follow Tingle as he romances Epona the horse and opens a pie shop. Benioff and Weiss would probably think this was a good idea, because there are too many Zelda games for them to properly draw themes from, and "a man in spandex having sex with a horse" would probably really speak to them on a visceral level.
In a lot of ways, the beloved anime/manga series Naruto is right up Benioff and Weiss' alley: It's an epic saga spanning many years (and even generations), it has a rich lore full of deep characters and tactical battles, and best of all, Naruto is full of things that, if done incorrectly, could turn the story into an absolute trainwreck––the ol' Benioff and Weiss specialty.
In their version of Naruto, just like in the original, we would meet our plucky ninja hero as a young boy. The first season would follow him through Ninja school and his first few missions, his rivalry with Sasuke, his unrequited love for Sakura, and finally his confrontation with the mysterious killer assassin Zabuza and the real world of ninjas––a world full of violence and bloodshed.
Except in the Benioff and Weiss telling, subsequent seasons would shift perspective to a singing ninja (a bard, if you will) played by Ed Sheeran, who travels the ninja world showing his genitals to townsfolk and sometimes using ninjutsu to molest the women. That would be it. No more Naruto becoming a ninja; this isn't about Naruto. What, the fans wanted Naruto? Sorry, this is meant to appeal to a more general audience, namely "sexual predators." Benioff and Weiss won't be reading the Internet comments either, because what the fans want doesn't matter and they'd rather not have their feelings hurt.
20th Century Fox
What if: PSYCHE! Benioff and Weiss really are coming back to Star Wars; they just made you think they weren't, so you wouldn't be mad.
Imagine it's time for the new Star Wars movie, and oh boy, you nerds better be prepared for some crazy lightsaber action. Benioff and Weiss' Star Wars introduces us to a brand new Sith Lord, Darth Phallus, who uses his evil force powers to forcibly have sex with Stormtroopers during every exposition scene. This is because Benioff and Weiss aren't very good writers, and they hope that watching Darth Phallus assault Stormtroopers will make their shoddy dialogue seem edgy or something. But it's not, and there are no battles. This is just three 2-hour movies dedicated to an unhinged man raping Stormtroppers. Eat your hearts out, Star Wars fans, Benioff and Weiss are back!
But for now, the pair have wisely stepped away to focus on their deal with Netflix. Beware.
- "Game of Thrones" Win Proves an Emmy Is Worthless in 2019 ... ›
- David Benioff and DB Weiss ›
- How David Benioff and D.B. Weiss Destroyed Every Main Character ... ›
- 'Game of Thrones' Showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss Break ... ›
- 'Game of Thrones' Creators Benioff & Weiss Ink Overall Deal at ... ›
- 'Game Of Thrones' Showrunners David Benioff And D.B. Weiss ... ›
- 'Game of Thrones' David Benioff, D.B. Weiss exit 'Star Wars' trilogy ›
- Game of Thrones creators Benioff and Weiss drop Star Wars movies ... ›
- 'Game Of Thrones' Showrunners David Benioff And D.B. Weiss ... ›
- Game of Thrones creators sign $200 million Netflix deal to make ... ›
- Creators David Benioff & D.B. Weiss ›
- Game of Thrones: David Benioff and DB Weiss break silence on ... ›
- David Benioff - Wikipedia ›
- Star Wars: Benioff & Weiss Deal Altered, Johnson Moving on from ... ›