CULTURE

What Your Favorite Presidential Candidate Says About Your Style

No matter who you're supporting, we have the perfect accessory for you.

Photo by Tabrez Syed on Unsplash

It's election season!

That means that you have to find the perfect outfit or accessory that expresses your political views. Fortunately, we have exactly the looks you need to make sure you're getting your candidate's message across. (Tom Steyer and Mike Bloomberg don't count, because you're not rich enough for them anyway!)

First and foremost, check your voter registration here, and get on that! If you're done with that step, try these outfits and look hot at the primaries.

1. Bernie Sanders

Every Sanders supporter, no matter your gender or lack thereof, deserves a floral or paisley-patterned button-up shirt and a beanie. These accessories work well at your low-level startup job, and they'll keep you warm on the trip to your apartment in deep Brooklyn, which is guaranteed to be flooded by rising sea levels unless we do something STAT about climate change. Of course, a real Bernie supporter would never order clothing online; they would thrift it at a clothing-exchange slash revolution planning session slash vegan potluck at their queer-friendly, illegally shared loft.

2. Pete Buttigieg

Pete Buttigieg supporters all need these Brooks Brothers suits, $249, for their next few days of mindless analyst work in a cubicle, followed by wine at the local wine cave, sponsored by your local fossil fuel baron.Brooks Brothers

3. Elizabeth Warren

Elizabeth supporters, all you need is a classic fleece jacket to fend off that Massachusetts cold as you're cheering your large adult son and Republican brothers on (a little too aggressively) at the town soccer game. Get it in grey so you can hop straight from the grocery store to the night's Bunco tournament, just as quickly as you hopped from the Republican to the Democratic party. Try this sporty fleece jacket from Marmot, $150, which comes complete with a few strands of golden retriever hair.Dick's Sporting Goods

4. Joe Biden

Joe Biden supporters will rock one of these literal Civil War-era shirts! Get this men's shirt, $12 on eBay, before it sells out—it was actually worn by a Civil War-era soldier, and it's the perfect way to show your support for Joe. It's certain to bring you back in time, just like all of Joe Biden's policies and his memory.ebay

5. Donald Trump

Every Trump fan deserves this orange-toned foundation from WalMart, $15; make sure you look around and find one that's preferably at least three shades oranger than your actual skin shade. (Note: This is not to be confused with the Trump Foundation, the defunct charity for which our president had to pay a $2 million dollar settlement for misuse of funds after it was accused of "functioning as little more than a checkbook to serve Mr. Trump's business and political interests," according to the attorney general Barbara Underwood).Walmart.com

6. Amy Klobuchar

Amy Klobuchar supporters can accessorize with this comb, $16, perfect for eating salads or throwing at your assistant. Plus, it's from Caswell-Massey, a department store based in the Midwest, like Amy Klobuchar, which is why sHe Can wIn.caswellmassey.com

7. Andrew Yang

Every (former) member of the #YangGang needs Yang's signature piece: this iconic Math pin. Buy it from Yang's store, $20. If Yang was elected, you could get 200 of these pins every month, and the price (like the price of everything else) probably wouldn't rise because of inflation for a few weeks, at least!cnn.com

8. Marianne WIlliamson

Our Orb Queen might be out of the race, but that doesn't mean you can't rock a floaty Stevie Nicks-inspired Free People shawl, $268, as you meander along the faery path to cast your vote for anybody but Pete Buttigieg. Accompany it with some crystals, some glittery eyeshadow, a flower crown, and an actually half-decent understanding of American democracy, and you're well on your way to enlightenment, we swear.

freepeople.com

The Strokes - Bad Decisions (Official Video)

Last night, the Strokes headlined a massive Bernie Sanders rally at the University of New Hampshire.

The legendary indie rock band took the stage before 7,500 Sanders-supporting students and volunteers, coming on after a stacked lineup that included Dr. Cornel West, Cynthia Nixon, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the indie band Sunflower Bean, and of course, the Senator from Vermont himself.

"This is no ordinary campaign," said Dr. West. "This is a movement that has a spiritual, strong coming together. It's part of the genius of Hebrew scripture—I don't care if you're Muslim, I don't care if you're Christian, I don't care if you're Buddhist, Hindu—it says the spreading of Hasid, the spreading of that steadfast love to the orphan, the widow, the fatherless, the motherless, the oppressed, the occupied, the dominated—it's rooted in the best of America… That's a moral and a spiritual dimension, and I thank god my dear brother Bernie Sanders has got the courage and the vision to bring us together."

"We're moving forward," said Ocasio-Cortez in her introductory speech for Sanders. "Forward to a multiracial democracy. Forward to guaranteed health care. Forward to a living wage. Forward to indigenous rights and honoring sovereignty. Forward! That's where we're gonna go! We're not going back to the days where people had to hide!"

Sanders is currently surging in nationwide polls and is expected to spar with Pete Buttigieg for the top spot in the New Hampshire primaries, which will be over by 7PM on Tuesday, February 11th. He took to the stage to cheers and the sound of "Power to the People," and delivered his typical invectives against the 1% and his calls for unity.

The Strokes, who performed last, remained relatively apolitical throughout their raucous set, which consisted of the infectious indie rock that made them into legends of the New York downtown scene in the early 2000s. They played some of their classics, like "Someday," and debuted a new song called "Bad Decisions." At one point, frontman Julian Casablancas announced that his album was coming out April 10th. At another, he launched into a tirade about pirates, who represent the "evil people" that "stole and r*ped for money" who "Bernie Sanders would knock out of office." He made sure to clarify that he meant "no disrespect to pirates" and added, "modern businesspeople? Way worse." The banter was strange, but the energy was undeniable.

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Near the end, Casablancas asked fans to look at a screen hanging above the audience. He then played a new song, "At the Door"—an autotune-heavy, synthy number reminiscent of his work with the Voidz—while a psychedelic animated video played in the background.

The video "At the Door" appears to follow several disparate science fiction-inspired storylines, and uses vintage Disney-style animation. There's a little boy who leaves his house with a Grim Reaper-type figure after watching his parents fight. There's a superhero-esque woman who kills her captors and embarks on a heroic journey in a racing car. There are a couple of rabbits reminiscent of Watership Down who are forced to run from both an enemy mutant rabbit and a massive dark sun. And then there are a host of aliens, who seem to live in a paradise world on the other side of the real one. Filled with starry, surreal imagery, the video blends science fiction and fantasy with reality and seems to present different possible futures, some apocalyptic and some Elysian.

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There are a lot of ways to read this video in the context of the rally. It could have little to do with the burgeoning political revolution that Sanders is leading. Then again, the rabbits, the little boy and the trapped woman could also represent some of the fear and suffering that occur in America—ecological disaster looms, suffering reigns, and mutations land people with incurable illnesses—and Sanders' campaign promises to fight these realities with environmental movements like the Green New Deal and beneficial programs like free college and Medicare for All.

Whether or not the Strokes' new video was a symbol of political revolution, it struck more than a few chords. But it was far from the end of the show. Casablancas had been complaining periodically that the lights had been turned on, and when someone told him that the cops were to blame, he launched into a version of the song "New York City Cops," an anti-police number. Perhaps frustrated by their presence and disruptiveness, and inspired by general frustration with cops, he invited audience members to jump onstage (much to the disdain of the present police).

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When the show finished, crowds poured outside and launched into an impromptu ice skating session on a frozen pond, writing "BERNIE 2020" in the snow.

Prior to the event, Casablancas released a more political statement that said, "We are honored to be associated with such a dedicated, diligent, and trustworthy patriot — and fellow native New Yorker… As the only truly non-corporate candidate, Bernie Sanders represents our only chance to overthrow corporate power and help return America to democracy. This is why we support him."

The Strokes—with their private school backgrounds and rockstar ethos—might not be the most obvious representatives of Sanders' campaign. But something in the gritty energy of their music seems to perfectly embody the spirit of hope and determination that's carried Sanders' campaign from obscurity to the front lines of the future.