Justin Bieber's "Yummy" Is an Absolute Ear Worm

Bieber's first song in five years is easy to listen to and impossible to ignore.

Justin Bieber has an uncanny ability to stir the pot even while minding his business.

Justin Bieber - Yummy (Lyric Video)

The prodigious pop star's seemingly tumultuous marriage to Hailey Baldwin attracted a considerable amount of the spotlight in 2019 and made for one very popular but vanilla Vogue expose. When the glitter and sheen of celebrity was wiped away, Vogue's profile showed a pair of pretty normal 20-somethings dealing with conflicts that readers could at least partially relate to. The main takeaway: Marriage is already hard enough, and it's twice as hard when everyone's watching it unfold.

But the beauty of "Biebwin" is that they seem to really want to make their marriage work. They're taking their time, going to therapy, putting their respective grinds aside to reflect on themselves and on each other and what matrimony means in the context of international stardom. Now, as Bieber steps out to release his first new song in 5 years, the result is a lighthearted reflection on his relationship with his wife. "Fifty-fifty love the way you split it," Bieber croons on "Yummy," in reference to the duo's combined wealth and refusal to sign a prenup.

When inspected under a fine tooth comb, there's very little that sets the song apart from every other pop hit on the radio; it's got classic hip-hop stylings with a catchy pop chorus. "Yummy" will undoubtedly be successful in large part thanks to Bieber's name. Sure, it's undoubtedly catchy, but radio hits are easy for Bieber at this point; Purpose was chock-full of 'em. But Purpose was crafted from drama and tumult, as the singer was actively trying to rewrite his troubled narrative. "One thing they have learned is that they are pretty happy homebodies," wrote Vogue about the obviously transformed Bieber and Baldwin. Now that all that drama has passed, "Yummy" plays out rather comfortably in contrast and indicates that maybe Justin Bieber is finally content with relative normalcy.

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Justin Bieber Teases Hilariously Cringey YouTube Series, "Seasons"

The Biebs overcomes years of mild inconveniences, returning to the stage in his brilliant, insulting new trailer.

Are you a Justin Bieber fan? Cool! He think's you're an easily manipulated idiot.

Today, Justin released the trailer for his upcoming docuseries, Seasons, on his official YouTube account. It's intimate, emotional, inspiring, and it's also overt propaganda designed to manufacture relevance and public support for a fading pop star-turned-meme. Every aspect of the trailer wants you to see Bieber as a victim, from the cliché, sad piano underpinning the first 40 seconds to the laughably melodramatic testimonial clips from "concerned" friends and family. It's unintentionally pretty funny, but also gross.

Justin Bieber: Seasons | Official Trailer Ft. Yummy | YouTube Originals

While no details are given in the video regarding the hardship Bieber has been going through, we do get dramatic shots of him moping in various locations. The classic rule of filmmaking: Show don't tell. Here we can actually see Justin grappling with his inner turmoil and heroically overcoming his trials and tribulations.

Justin Bieber sad in the desert Justin Bieber searching his basketball shorts for hope, unable to find it under wads of cash.

You can tell he is really sad here, because the footage is in black and white. Plus, he is in the desert, completely alone (with the exception of the massive film crew and catered food outside the shot). Just like Jesus, JB is confronting demons, like how "coffee [used to] come out better."

At one point in the video, JB's manager, Scooter Braun (the guy Taylor Swift accused of bullying her) literally says: "No one's ever grown up, in the history of humanity, like Justin Bieber."

"WHAT?!" gif

I can name a couple, Mr. Braun, and their legacies didn't age very well.

That's what pisses me off about Seasons and this ad for it. Bieber and the team behind this project are deliberately attempting to manipulate the audience to feel bad for him, as if he has resembled anything close to an underdog since age 13.

Justin Bieber looks for birds It was 8th period algebra. He was much better at AP revisionist history.

"But wait," you argue, "he isn't actually hurting anyone or manipulating anyone." WRONG! This is a PR stunt combined with a promotional campaign for an upcoming album, and its sole purpose is to get public sentiment back on his side, then take your money for that album and all subsequent merchandise and tours. Furthermore, it hurt my brain to watch.

Justin Bieber Seasons Meme

I legit loved the episode of SNL when Justin Bieber hosted. I thought he was great.

I hope I'm wrong and that Seasons is a quality docuseries with heart. Perhaps this trailer was cooked up by YouTube executives or some marketing agency and Justin Bieber is contractually obligated to push such promotional materials on his personal social media accounts. YouTube is paying $2 million per episode (10 episodes total), so I wouldn't be surprised. Or maybe he likes the video because it shows off some sweet new tattoos. To his credit, it looks very well shot. If the implicit and explicit messaging of the trailer weren't so intellectually bankrupt, insulting, and self righteous, I'd be super psyched for this Entourage reboot.

Oh and his upcoming single, "Yummy" just sounds...creepy.