The first gay couple ever to appear on American television dates back to 1975 — in Norman Lear’s groundbreaking and highly controversial sitcom Hot I Baltimore.
Back then, featuring an LGBTQ+ couple on national TV was considered horrifying, even shameful. Although it’s far more common nowadays to see LGBTQ+ characters represented in film and television, we still have a long way to go.
These days, we’re lucky to have such a diverse array of incredible gay and lesbian couples gracing our screens, both big and small. Let’s take a look at some of the most fabulous same-sex pairings represented in the media over the years.
Jack and Ennis - Brokeback Mountain
Brokeback Mountain was one of the first same-sex romance films to make it to the mainstream media. Back when the movie was in production, A-list celebrities turned down the leading roles of Jack and Ennis right and left. Back then, the idea of a gay-gay love story was so taboo in Hollywood that actors like Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Wahlberg were quick to say “no” because they were terrified that the world would think they were gay and their careers would be over.
It looks like it was their loss, though, since the 2005 film was an Oscar-winning triumph. The roles were given to Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger, respectively. Gyllenhall and Ledger play Wyoming cowboys caught up in a 20-year-long forbidden romance.
Despite their undying love for each other — Jack famously tells Ennis, “I wish I knew how to quit you!” — they’re held back by spousal duties and the restrictive social norms of the time.
Ronit and Esti - Disobedience
Rachel McAdams and Rachel Weisz play forbidden lovers in this gut-wrenching 2018 film. Esti (McAdams) and Ronit (Weisz) seem to have all the odds stacked against them. Set in an Orthodox Jewish community, the highly religious standards make it just about impossible for the two to express their passions. But gloriously, they find a way.
In private, when no one’s watching, Esti and Ronit are finally free to act on their years of pent-up emotions.
Grab a box of tissues for this one. Disobedience is a total tear-jerker.
Carol and Therese - Carol
This 2015 film captures the sizzling love affair between Therese (Rooney Mara) and Carol (Cate Blanchette.) While the film is a stunning visual masterpiece, the snowy Manhattan backdrop and lush mid-century decor pale in comparison to Mara and Blanchette’s on-screen chemistry. In the film, our leading ladies Therese and Carol must keep their love affair a secret because Carol has a daughter and is going through a tough divorce. Their forbidden romance is constantly disrupted by Carol’s suspicious husband, a private detective, and … you guessed it … the constricting social norms of the 1950s.
Elio and Oliver - Call Me By Your Name
Call Me By Your Name is an exquisite love story that’s set “Somewhere in Northern Italy.” Based on the novel by Andre Aciman, the 2017 film put Timothee Chalamet on the map and launched him into the stratosphere.
What separates Call Me By Your Name from the other films listed is that there’s no bloodthirsty antagonist determined to tear Elio and Oliver apart. But the only people preventing Elio and Oliver from living happily ever after are… Elio and Oliver.
Since there’s no evil force lurking in the corners, Call Me By Your Name unspools like a sun-dappled fantasy. Their romance is met with nothing but support from friends and family.
Due to the film’s lack of obstacles, a handful of critics have labeled this story unrealistic. It doesn’t have the many hurdles that same-sex love interests usually face, both in real life and in media portrayals.
Yet author Aciman says this is very much intentional. Quoting Aristotle, he said of Call Me By Your Name: “Art is not about what happens, but about what should, and ought to happen.”
Nicky Nicholls and Lorna Morello - Orange is The New Black
Orange is The New Black made waves — seismic waves — when it premiered on Netflix in 2013. The series is groundbreaking both for its diversity and its depiction of an array of lesbian relationships.
While Piper and Alex are Orange’s primary couple, many fans found themselves gravitating more towards the second-tier couple, Nicky Nicholls and Lorna Morello.
Played by Natasha Lyonne and Yael Stone, respectively, the frisson between these two is enough to set fire to Litchfield Prison. What starts out as a casual friend-with-benefits deal eventually grows into one of the most heartbreaking romances on television.
Blaine and Kurt - Glee
Kurt Hummel went through hell and back during the first handful of seasons on Glee. As the only openly gay kid in his closed-minded Ohio-based high school, he bore the brunt of constant torment from his peers.
Just when he was at his lowest point, Blaine (Darren Criss) waltzed in to flip Kurt’s life upside down once and for all. It was a heartwarming change of pace for Kurt, who had spent his whole life on the outside looking in.
Santana and Brittany - Glee
Initially, Santana and Brittany’s liaison was played off as a joke. But as the series evolved, so did their relationship. The pair went on to become one of the most popular couples on Glee.
Tweek and Craig - South Park
Tweek and Craig, South ParkComedy Central
When we hear the term South Park, the word “progressive” doesn’t immediately spring to mind. After all, the animated series is famous for its shock humor and toilet jokes. This makes it all the more amusing that the Mountain Town series has one of the hottest LGBTQ couples on TV.
The romance between Tweek and Craig was borne out of fan service. Ever since they appeared in a 1998 episode titled “Tweek and Craig,” some starry-eyed fans of the show had been “shipping” these fictional characters.
This did not go unnoticed by creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, who decided to respond by making Tweek and Craig a “canon” pair.
Cam and Mitchell - Modern Family
It’s safe to say that Modern Family wouldn’t be the same without Cam and Mitchell. Their comedic charm brings so much wit to the ABC sitcom, and many regard the pair as fan favorites. Despite having conflicting personalities, their differences only seem to strengthen their bond.
Patrick and David - Schitt’s Creek
Schitt’s Creek’s David and Patrick have the perfect relationship. From the beginning, it’s been nothing but smooth sailing for these two. Their lack of drama is quite refreshing for LGTBQ+ couples, who are mostly represented in the media through a tragic lens. And while there’s certainly a place for that, it’s nice to see a breezy gay couple getting on with their lives together.
One of the cutest moments in TV history was when Patrick proposed to David. Instead of a typical engagement ring, Patrick proposed with four rings — typical of what David usually wears.
They say, “To love them is to know them.” Based on Patrick’s four-ring proposal, he certainly knows David!
Nicholas Galitzine in SXSW Closing Night Film, "The Idea of You"
Courtesy of Prime Video
All the cool film girlies just came back from Berlin. Specifically, they are fresh from the 74th Berlin International Film Festival, and they still smell like cigarettes to prove it. Between anecdotes about how Berghain is ruined, they’re telling me how they watched Cillian Murphy (my father, emotionally) give another masterful, award-worthy performance in the Enda Walsh adaptation of Claire Keegan’s novel Small Things Like These. This is apropos of nothing, except that I was not in Berlin, so I will have to wait alongside everyone else to see one of my favorite books on screen later this year.
But how can I be bitter? This week, half of Los Angeles will flock to Texas for South By Southwest in Austin, and I’ll be delightfully distracted by a whole new slate of upcoming releases premiering at this year’s festival. There are so many new films to be excited about premiering at the festival — even without Cillian Murphy’s cheekbones.
Let’s get into it.
What is SXSW?
I’m in for a week of acronyms: SXSW in ATX FTW - LFG!! South By Southwest (aka SXSW or SX or South By) is a film festival, music festival, and industry conference all rolled into one. Fueled by Texas BBQ and Torchy’s Tacos, creative people in the tech, film, music, education, and culture industries swarm from theater to concert hall and conference room networking (allegedly), writing pretentious reviews about the future of culture (guilty), and being menaces to the residents of Austin by causing even worse traffic jams than the city is used to— and I can’t wait.
When is SXSW 2024?
SXSW 2024 will be held from March 8 - 16 2024. Highly anticipated events include Rolling Stone’s Future of Music Series (my artists to watch are Flo Milli and Faye Webster), and the SXSW Music Festival (which, this year, includes The Black Keys, Bootsy Collins, and many more). Of course, the highlight is the insane 2024 SXSW movie lineup. I can’t wait to laugh, cry, and contemplate my very existence while staring up at a screen at SXSW. In the words of Nicole Kidman, “We come to this place to dream.” And this week, the dreamers are all in Austin, Texas.
Here are the films at SXSW 2024 we’re most excited about – starring an assortment of all our favorite actors (even though Cilian won’t be making an appearance). Still, we’re excited to see new performances from faves like Ayo Edebiri, Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Gosling, Aaron Taylor Johnson, Jonathan Groff, Hunter Schafer, Rachel Zegler, Anne Hathaway, Nicholas Galitzine, and a whole lot more.
SXSW 2024 Official Opening Night Selection
Road House
This is not Patrick Swayze’s Road House (1989) — but by the time Jake Gyllenhaal is done with you, you’ll love it as much as the original. Gyllenhaal stars as an ex-UFC fighter-turned-bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, owned by Frankie (Jessica Williams). Facing threats from a criminal gang led by Brandt (Billy Magnussen), Dalton's violent past emerges. When he is confronted by Knox (Conor McGregor), a lethal gun-for-hire, the escalating brawls and bloodshed become more dangerous than his days in the Octagon. Fans of real-life, ex-UFC fighter Conor McGregor are excited to see him in this film, even if he is the villain. Road House is coming to Prime Video on March 21st.
SXSW 2024 Official Closing Night Selection
The Idea of You
This film is like if your mom stole your Wattpad moment. Created by two-time SXSW Audience Award Winner Michael Showalter, it’s his great return to SXSW and it’s sure to be a riot. Allegedly based on Harry Styles (and a little bit of Prince Harry, too), The Idea of You is the salacious story of a 40-year-old single mom who begins an unexpected romance with her daughter’s favorite popstar. She goes from begrudgingly chaperoning her daughter to Coachella to meeting, and falling for, 24-year-old Hayes Campbell, the lead singer of a band based on One Direction. This odd couple romance promises to be more than meets the eye. The couple is played by Red White & Royal Blue’s Nicholas Galitzine alongside Anne Hathaway so I am ready and willing to go on this ride. I’m expecting something that feels like a mix of After, A Star is Born, and How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Watch the trailer HERE. And listen to the first song from the Original Soundtrack by fictional boy band August Moon HERE.
Other films to watch at SXSW 2024
I Wish You All The Best
I am unspeakably excited for Tommy Dorfman’s queer coming-of-age drama. Written and directed by Dorfman and starring Corey Fogelmanis, Miles Gutierrez-Riley, Alexandra Daddario, Cole Sprouse, Lena Dunham, Amy Landecker, Lexi Underwood, and more (wow!) it’s an adaptation of Mason Deaver's novel of the same name. A queer tale of chosen family, it follows Ben DeBacker, a non-binary teen who is thrown out of their house and forced to move in with their estranged older sister, Hannah, and her husband, Thomas. Struggling with anxiety, they come out only to Hannah, Thomas, and their art teacher, Ms. Lyons, while trying to keep a low profile at their new school. Ben's attempts to survive junior year unnoticed are thwarted when Nathan, a funny and charismatic student, decides to take Ben under his wing. With the help of Nathan, and his friends Sophie and Mel, Ben discovers themselves, and what started as a disastrous turn of events looks like it might just be a chance to start a happier new life.
A Nice Indian Boy
A Nice Indian Boy
I’ll watch Jonathan Groff in anything — and this original odd-couple comedic drama would have taken me no convincing anyway. Self-effacing doctor Naveen Gavaskar meets Jay Kurundkar, a white man adopted by two Indian parents, when Jay takes his picture at the hospital. Despite initial skepticism on Naveen’s part, the two quickly fall in love. Naveen avoids telling his traditional family—parents Megha & Archit and sister Arundhathi—who accepted his sexuality years earlier and are close to him but increasingly don’t know much about his life. Eventually, inevitably, Jay, with no family of his own, has to meet the Gavaskars, who have never met a boyfriend of Naveen's.
The Fall Guy
The Fall Guy
Don’t fret, Barbie fever is over, but Ryan Gosling will be back on your screens soon enough with this comedic action blockbuster. Ryan Gosling stars as Colt, a stuntman who, after a near-career-ending accident, is drafted back into service when the star of a mega-budget movie—being directed by his ex, Jody (Emily Blunt)—goes missing. Now, this working-class hero has to solve a conspiracy and try to win back the love of his life while still doing his day job. Certified heartthrob Aaron Taylor Johnson is also in this — giving me something to look forward to as I wait patiently for his role in Kraven: The Hunter later this year. I’m sat.
Omni Loop
Omni Loop
The more Ayo Edebiri in the zeitgeist, the better. Alongside Mary-Louise Parker, Steven Maier, Eddie Cahill, and more, she stars in this existential sci-fi feature. Zoya Lowe, a 55 year old woman from Miami, FL, has been diagnosed with a black hole inside her chest and given a week to live. But what the doctors and her family don’t know is that she has already lived this week before. She’s lived it so many times, in fact, that she doesn’t even know how long it’s been. Until one day she meets Paula, a young woman studying time at a lab in the local university, and together they decide to try and solve time travel so Zoya can actually go back— back into her past, back to a time before she settled, back to when her whole future was still wide open in front of her—back so she can do it all over again, and finally be the person she always wanted to be. It’s this year’s Everything Everywhere All At Once so I have high hopes.
The Greatest Hits
The Greatest Hits
Harriet (Lucy Boynton) finds art imitating life when she discovers certain songs can transport her back in time - literally. While she relives the past through romantic memories of her former boyfriend (David Corenswet), her time-traveling collides with a burgeoning new love interest in the present (Justin H. Min). As she takes her journey through the hypnotic connection between music and memory, she wonders if she can change the past. Think Yesterday, but … no, pretty much just exactly Yesterday.
Y2K
Y2K A24 Movie
The children are our future! This A24 disaster comedy, Y2K, stars Rachel Zegler, Jaeden Martell, Julian Dennison, Lachlan Watson, Daniel Zolghadri, Mason Gooding, The Kid Laroi (yes, from that Justin Bieber song), and more as high schoolers who crash a NYE party in 1999 and end up fighting for their lives. But doesn’t all high school feel like that?
I Love You Forever
I Love You Forever
Directed and written by Cazzie David and Elisa Kalani and starring Sofia Black-D'Elia, Ray Nicholson, Jon Rudnitsky, Cazzie David, and Raymond Cham Jr, this film portrays the sad reality of the dating landscape. It follows Mackenzie, a disillusioned 25-year old law student tired of the apps — because who isn’t. When she has a “real life meet-cute” with a charming journalist who makes her believe true love may actually exist. Ultimately, it starts to go left and Mackenzie finds herself trapped in a tumultuous and depleting cycle of emotional abuse.
I Don't Understand You
Like our beloved White Lotus, this is about an Italian vacation gone wrong. Starring Nick Kroll and Andrew Rannells as an American couple, it's about a babymoon turned nightmare. On the verge of adopting a baby, they go on an Italian vacation — an opportunity to reconnect before the new addition arrives. Everything is picture-perfect; the epitome of a European baby moon, when things begin to spiral out of control. On the way to dinner, they get their rental car stuck in a ditch and are stranded in rural nowhere in a downpour. These two Americans, who are used to being catered to, are now in a foreign land without service, an Italian language comprehension of about zero, and clear relationship turmoil that could explode at any minute. Fear obviously takes over.
Doin It
Doin It
Starring internet sensation-turned-host-turned-actor Lilly Singh, Doin It is a comedy of errors about an Indian woman trying to lose her virginity. Fans of Never Have I Ever, which also starts with that premise, should flock to this film. After teenage Maya is caught in a sexually compromising position, her mom moves the family back to India so Maya can learn proper discipline. Years later, she returns to the US to find funding for her teen-focused app, and gets a job as a substitute high school teacher so she can research her target demo. But when the principal assigns her to teach sex ed, Maya —who’s still a virgin— sets out on a quest with her best friend to make up for the high school experience she lost out on. It also stars Ana Gasteyer, Sabrina Jalees, Stephanie Beatriz, Mary Holland, Utkarsh Ambudkar, and Sonia Dhillon Tully.
Civil War
Civil War
No, not the Marvel film. Much more chilling and dystopian — especially since it’s set in a plausible, near-future. It stars Kirsten Dunst, Wagner Moura, Cailee Spaeny, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Sonoya Mizuno, and Nick Offerman taking us on an adrenaline-fueled thrill ride through a fractured America balanced on the razor’s edge, going through a civil war.
Birdeater
Birdeater
A bride-to-be is invited to join her own fiancé’s bachelor party on a remote property in the Australian outback. But as the festivities spiral into beer-soaked chaos, uncomfortable details about their relationship are exposed, and the celebration soon becomes a feral nightmare. I’m imagining part Saltburn and part Get Out from this feature debut.
Babes
Babes
After becoming pregnant from a one-night stand, Eden leans on her married best friend and mother of two, Dawn, to guide her through gestation and beyond. Starring lana Glazer, Michelle Buteau, John Carroll Lynch, and Hasan Minhaj, this comedy about friendship and motherhood is sure to be both belly-busting and heartwarming
Musica
Musica
Based on writer, director and star Rudy Mancuso, Música is a coming-of-age love story that follows an aspiring creator with synesthesia, who must come to terms with an uncertain future, while navigating the pressures of love, family and his Brazilian culture. Alongside Mancuso are Camila Mendes, Francesca Reale, Maria Mancuso, and J.B. Smoove.
Freaknik: The Wildest Party Never Told
Freaknik: The Wildest Party Never Told
If anyone else has heard about Freaknik endlessly without hearing about Freaknik, your time has come. This documentary feature is a celebratory exploration of the boisterous times of Freaknik, the iconic Atlanta street party that drew hundreds of thousands of people in the 80s and 90s, helping put Atlanta on the map culturally. At its height, Freaknik was a traffic-stopping, city-shuttering, juggernaut that has since become a cult classic. This documentary will, too.
The Black Sea
The Black Sea
Immersive and inspired by Derrick B. Harden’s travels to Bulgaria, The Black Sea details the transformative journey of a man who finds unexpected connections in a small coastal Eastern European town even as he finds himself to be the only black person around.
Pet Shop Days
Pet Shop Days
I love a very serious thriller with a whimsical title. Starring Jack Irv, Darío Yazeb Bernal, Willem Dafoe, Peter Sarsgaard, and more, you know this one’s going to be good. In an act of desperation, impulsive black sheep Alejandro flees his home in Mexico. On the run from his unforgiving father, Alejandro finds himself in New York City where he meets Jack, a college age pet store employee with similar parental baggage. Together the two enter a whirlwind romance sending them down the rabbit hole of drugs and depravity in Manhattan’s underworld.
Toll
Toll
This Brazilian feature is definitely going to chill me to my core, I’m calling it now. Suellen, a Brazilian toll booth attendant and mother, falls in with a gang of thieves in an attempt to keep her family afloat. In doing so, she realizes she can use her job to raise some extra money illegally for a so-called noble cause: to send her son to an expensive gay conversion workshop led by a renowned foreign priest.
My Dead Friend Zoe
My Dead Friend Zoe
My Dead Friend Zoe follows the journey of Merit, a U.S. Army Afghanistan veteran who is at odds with her family thanks to the presence of Zoe, her dead best friend from the Army. Despite the persistence of her VA group counselor, the tough love of her mother and the levity of an unexpected love interest, Merit's cozy-dysfunctional friendship with Zoe keeps the duo insulated from the world. That is until Merit's estranged grandfather—holed up at the family's ancestral lake house—begins to lose his way and is in need of the one thing he refuses... help. It stars Sonequa Martin-Green, Natalie Morales, Ed Harris, Morgan Freeman, Utkarsh Ambudkar, and Gloria Reuben.
A House Is Not a Disco
A House Is Not a Disco
Directed by Brian J. Smith, this documentary shows a year-in-the-life in the world’s most iconic “homo-normative” community: Fire Island Pines. Situated fifty miles from New York City, this storied queer beach town finds itself in the midst of a renaissance as a new generation of Millennial homeowners reimagine The Pines for a new, more inclusive era. Filmed like a Wiseman movie on magic mushrooms, a large cast of unforgettable eccentrics, activists, drifters, and first-timers reflect on the legacy of The Pines while preparing their beloved village for the biggest challenge it has faced since the AIDS crisis: rising seas caused by climate change.
Brandy Hellville & the Cult of Fast Fashion
Brandy Hellville & the Cult of Fast Fashion
My eighth-grade self, experiencing all the stages of grief in the Brandy Melville changing room, is ready for this expose. It examines how Brandy Melville developed a cult-like following despite its controversial “one size fits all” tagline. Hiding behind its shiny Instagram façade is a shockingly toxic world, a reflection of the global fast fashion industry. Fast fashion isn’t all glitz and glamor – it’s a business that sacrifices humanity and pollutes the planet for the sake of profit.
When Angela Bassett set the car on fire in Waiting to Exhale. When Aubrey Plaza spirals for a full episode after finding the condom wrapper in White Lotus. When Rosamund Pike fakes her death, frames her husband — Ben Affleck — for murder, and disappears completely after discovering his affair with EmRata in Gone Girl. Chefs kiss to all of it. Because one thing about me? I love the wrath of women.
While I don’t support the scorning of women, I support the actions of scorned women. Just like Lady Gaga said on the House of Gucci’s red carpet, “I don't believe in the glorification of murder. I do believe in the empowerment of women.”
And recently, both Shakira and Miley Cyrus metaphorically murdered their cheating partners — Gerard Piqué and Liam Hemsworth respectively — by skewering them with the spikes of hit break-up anthems.
It’s the Taylor Swift treatment. Immortalizing a man in song — in the worst way possible … for him. Jake Gyllenhall and John Mayer are probably texting Piqué and Hemsworth words of support. They’ll need it.
In case you missed it, here’s a quick rundown on current breakup anthems on the charts that are bringing back girl power.
The backstory behind Miley Cyrus’s “Flowers”
Miley Cyrus is no stranger to penning songs about Liam Hemsworth. After being married for only one year, Cyrus and Hemsworth divorced in February 2020. However, their tortured romance has been making headlines since 2010. That means Liam Hemsworth wasted this woman’s time for an entire decade. No wonder she’s pissed.
Ever since they fell in love on the set of The Last Song, Miley’s been dedicating absolute bangers to her on-again-off-again partner. The movie’s breakout track, “When I Look At You,” should have netted her a slew of awards. A snub I shall never-ever get over. But since then, there have been many others: “Wrecking Ball,” “Malibu,” and even one named “I Would Die For You.”
But the instantly viral hit “Flowers” has special significance. The single is the first release from the former-Disney star’s upcoming album, Endless Summer Vacation. But this single was released on January 13th — little Liam’s 33rd birthday. It seems Miley is in her petty era. And we love it for her.
Even the lyrics of the song allegedly dig at her former relationship. “I can buy myself flowers,” Miley sings, “I can hold my own hand.” This assertion of self-love is a direct response to Bruno Mas’ “When I Was Your Man.” Why? Well, apparently Liam dedicated this song to Cyrus at their wedding. Odd, because it is a breakup song. Foreshadowing, maybe? At least we now get a breakup banger out of it.
The video is also sure to go down in music video history. Its vintage fashion looks were instantly striking, but when fans looked closer, they sussed out the deeper meaning of the video's captivating narrative. First off, the video contains multiple references to Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Classic and unhinged.
But that’s not all! Turns out, it was filmed in the very house where Hemsworth allegedly cheated on Cyrus… with multiple women… multiple times! And there she is, reclaiming her space and her time. As she should!
The backstory behind Shakira’s “Out of Your League”
One other woman-scorned dominating the news? None other than the ever-iconic Shakira. The Columbian singer shattered YouTube records for the most streamed Latin music song in 24-hours. The track, “Out Of Your League,” is an unapologetic rant to her former partner Gerard Piqué. Astoundingly, it’s logged 63m+ YouTube views in 24-hours, making it the most-watched new Latin song in the platform’s history.
And the story behind this song? More infidelity, unfortunately.
Rumor has it, Shakira realized her former partner was cheating on her after returning home to find that her jar of jam had been eaten. And, supposedly, Piqué has never tasted jam in his life. Shakira playing detective and ending up with a hit song? I’m obsessed.
The song is pretty much a diss track. And like all fine diss tracks, it’s filled with savage jabs and no pulled punches. Shakira — 45 — sings: “I’m worth two 22-year-olds,” referencing her ex’s quick rebound with a 22-year-old. She sings: “You swapped a Ferrari for a Twingo/You swapped a Rolex for a Casio.”
The title is also a play on Piqué’s profession. As a soccer player, he’s familiar with leagues. But Shakira is definitely far beyond his.“I was out of your league,” she says, “which is why you’re with someone just like you.”
Not just any 40 year man — a pretty successful one, with two new high profile projects on deck. This means: you're exceeding at your job. This means: everyone loves you. Congratulations! You're a Sagittarius so this public approval really fuels your fire — it's what you live for and you're living swell.
You're in your prime. Then — suddenly — a woman you dated over a decade ago … ruins your life.
And how does she do it? By releasing a music video which — for all intents and purposes — is about a scarf she left at your sister's house in 2010. Where is the scarf now? You haven't thought about it in 11 years — yet this woman is alleging that you have it, and are keeping it as a token of your affection and … regret at breaking her heart?
Who could have known then, what we know now
The logic is difficult to follow — but, though you're a pretty boy, you're both beauty and brains. Famously, you attended Columbia University. Famously, so does your 20-something year old current girlfriend.
Your new relationship has now become a subject of conversation, as said-ex tells everyone "I get older but your lovers all stay my age." She's not wrong. You're caught. Especially because you (famously) told her that you couldn't date her because of the age gap. Aw, man, you're the hypocrite now.
You're a 40 year old man, about to have a tough few weeks. You're Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift just released a short film for the ten-minute version of her epic song about your relationship, "All Too Well."
Let's Rewind: What Happened?
The long and short of it: Taylor Swift and Jake Gylllenhaal briefly dated in 2010. She was 20-going on 21, he was 30-going on 31. They're both Sagittarians and have late birthdays, a fact Taylor wrote about in a number of her songs.
Though the relationship was brief, it served as much of the fodder for Taylor Swift's 2013 album, Red. The record was upbeat, dynamic, more pop-based than her country roots, and received a ton of attention for Taylor's noticeable maturity. It was Taylor's entrance into adulthood, no longer the wide-eyed girl at the CMAs, but an actual force to be reckoned with — as a person and as a musician.
However, according to speculation and song lyrics, one person who didn't think Taylor was mature: Jake Gyllenhaal. Allegedly, he broke up with her after a few months of dating, citing their age difference.
This hit Taylor hard. So while her album is packed with love songs about the positive parts of their relationship, it's most notable for the song which many consider to be the songstress's magnum opus: "All Too Well."
For years, Swifties have thrown themselves on the altar of that song: its unrepressed longing, its narrative exploration of betrayal, and its finest lyric's searing indictment that brands Gyllenhaal as: "so casually cruel in the name of being honest."
It's the breakup anthem to end all breakup anthems. And now, there's a 10-minute-long version.
Why is it back on the brain?
Taylor Swift — queen of pettiness and corporate music feminism (you'll remember, she removed all her songs from Spotify for a bit because she wasn't getting paid enough — is on a mission to ruin Scooter Braun.
Because Braun holds the rights to Swift's original masters — and makes money from them every time her songs are played — she is re-recording every one her albums note-for-note.
Fearless (Taylor's Version) was the first of these do-overs — which also include demos and bonus tracks to give the fans something extra.
Now, with the release of Red (Taylor's Version), fans are not only treated to the extended version of "All Too Well," but a video to match, starring Sadie Sink (of Stranger Things) and Dylan O'Brien (of Maze Runnerand Teen Wolf).
Directed by Taylor Swift herself, the short film is a knife to Jake Gyllenhaal jellyfish heart. The man is now undoubtedly the subject of the song.
This has reignited the rage of Swifties everywhere — a terrifying feat.
So we ask: Jake Gyllenhaal, how are you doing? How are you coping? How are you sleeping, knowing what you've done?
The Bedding That Would Bring Even JG Some Peace
While we — and the song itself — like to imagine that Gyllenhaal is tossing and turning, utterly sick with regret, it's been a decade since his breakup. He's probably over it.
Whether this renewed fervor is affecting him or not, we can't know. But any press is good press if nothing else — especially when you're an actor with new projects out — as well as on the horizon.
But here's my confession: I, too, have been accused of being "casually cruel in the name of being honest." Not in such poetic terms, sure. But the sentiment has been levied against me.
As someone who empathizes with Gyllenhaal — though to be clear, Swifties, I'm not on his side — What truly helps me sleep at night? The perfect bedding.
Yes, I may sometimes be cold, but the temperature-regulated bedding from Pillow Guy keeps me warm and cozy at night.
Pillow Guy makes luxury bedding to fulfill all your sleep needs, from pillows to sheets and comforters. Made of 100% cotton, these soft and durable products are certified to be free from harmful chemicals that are found in most bedding.
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With recent cameos in John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch and Saturday Night Live, Jake Gyllenhaal is going from playing "somewhat mentally ill main characters" to "total lunatics."
Photo by Reynaud Julien/APS-Medias/ABACA/Shutterstock
Since his breakthrough in the 1999's October Sky, Jake Gyllenhaal hasn't shied away from outré movie characters.
From portraying Donnie Darko's tormented title character to earning critical acclaim for his lead role in the queer masterpiece Brokeback Mountain, Gyllenhaal seems to enjoy pushing the envelope, although it's usually by way of dramatic films. However, I can't help but notice lately that Gyllenhaal has taken a liking to rather off-the-wall, comical roles. It appears that he might be rebranding himself as an absolutely insane person, and frankly, I love it.
Late last year, Gyllenhaal made an unexpected cameo in John Mulaney's child-focused Netflix special, John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch. The actor starred as Mr. Music, who tries using a Calypso-style tune to teach the cast of kids that you can find music anywhere (he fails miserably). Speaking on his decision to cast Gyllenhaal, Mulaney explained: "I'd seen him in Sunday in the Park with George, the musical, and I remember watching him and I was like, 'oh man, I'm never gonna be an actor. That guy thinks he's the person. Like, he's out of his mind.'"
Mulaney also mentioned having seen Gyllenhaal in Parasite director Bong Joon-Ho's 2017 film, Okja, portraying a hilariously deranged zoologist and TV personality. In both of these roles, Gyllenhaal is convincingly nuts. Is he OK in his real life? We're not so sure anymore. Do these characters make us a little uncomfortable sometimes? Kind of. But do we love it? Of course we do.
Gyllenhaal and Mulaney had a brief Sack Lunch Bunch reunion on last weekend's episode of Saturday Night Live, wherein the latter portrayed a very confused kiosk cashier at LaGuardia Airport. Gyllenhaal, decked out in a matching pajama set, played a man who enjoys going through airport security a little too much, singing to the tune of "Defying Gravity" about being fondled by TSA agents. All the while, he's being suspended a few feet above the floor, because why not? He's Jake Gyllenhaal, and he's crazy.
None of this has diminished my respect for Gyllenhaal, whom I still consider to be one of today's most talented actors. He's no stranger to playing mentally unstable characters, but his new foray into borderline deranged roles makes me, maybe, respect him even more. We're all a little insane, and if Gyllenhaal can make this hysteria work in his favor, so can you.
In December of 2005, Brokeback Mountain shifted queer-coded cinema into the mainstream.
Prior to 2005, "New Queer Cinema"––a term coined by film scholar B. Ruby Rich in Sight & Sound to define the queer-themed independent film movement, which focused on rejecting heteronormativity and concentrated on LGBTQ protagonists––existed on the fringe of the film world. It's worth noting that while the movement primarily refers to the boom in independent LGBTQ films from 1992 onwards, queer cinema existed for many years prior, albeit without a proper name. But regardless of nomenclature, New Queer Cinema was typically designated for niche audiences, relegated to arthouse showings at best.
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And then came Brokeback Mountain, a wide-release movie about two queer cowboys, directed by Ang Lee and starring A-List actors Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal. In a sense, Brokeback Mountain went viral, spawning endless memes, parodies, and even an entire episode of South Park. New Queer Cinema had entered the mainstream public consciousness.
"I mean I don't want to underestimate the extent to which Brokeback did its work, because it really did," reflected Rich in a 2015 retrospective on the film. "It changed attitudes across generations. It was obviously extremely powerful among gay men, but it was also unimaginably transformative for people in rural areas outside of major metropolises." In the years following Brokeback Mountain, the conversation around queer culture changed drastically, with LGBTQ representation becoming more and more prominent in media and the Supreme Court finally legalizing same-sex marriage.
But in 2005, before Brokeback Mountain even came out, there was another viral piece of queer-coded media that took the Internet by storm––a video dubbed "Fabulous Secret Powers," and alternatively, "He-Man Sings" or "HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA."
Originally posted to the Something Awful Forums––the pre-YouTube platform that spawned many of the Internet's early memes––"Fabulous Secret Powers" spread from forum to forum, eventually going on to rack up over 150 million views on YouTube and becoming one of the early Internet's most viral sensations.
Combining animated footage from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe with a cover of alt. rock band 4 Non Blondes' 1992 single "What's Up," "Fabulous Secret Powers" follows a forbidden romantic affair between He-Man/Prince Adam and Man-At-Arms/Duncan. The songs' sound and lyrics lend themselves surprisingly well to this endeavor.
Set to a pulsating electronic keyboard beat, the ridiculously catchy chorus ("And I say, hey hey hey hey / I said hey, what's going on?") is almost always coupled with He-Man in a pink shirt, head thrown back against a glittery rainbow background. The image became so popular that it even inspired an official special edition "Laughing Prince Adam" action figure. But the verses betray a starker reality.
As the upbeat keyboard continues, He-Man sings: "And so I cry sometimes / When I'm lying in bed / Just to get it all out / What's in my head / And I am feeling a little peculiar." We then catch a glimpse of He-Man's AIM (AOL Instant Messenger, for you Gen Z trash) chat with Man-At-Arms. "Hey STUD!" writes He-Man, before quickly following with, "LOL j/k."
He-Man's plight likely mirrored the experiences of a lot of young queer people in the early 2000s who were forced to come to terms with their identities during a time when they were still considered taboo in mainstream culture. "Oh my god do I try / I try all the time / in this institution," sings He-Man. "Oh my god do I pray / I pray every single day / For a revolution."
As He-Man wrestles with the contrast between the societal position he finds himself in and his feelings for Man-At-Arms, we realize that his love isn't unrequited––Man-At-Arms has feelings for He-Man, too, and is seen gazing at He-Man longingly. The beat slows down as the two men face one another, and the Sorceress of Castle Grayskull intrudes to tear them apart: "Don't cry out loud / Just keep it inside / Learn how to hide your feelings." A tear rolls down Man-At-Arms' cheek.
Slackcircus
The song concludes on a downbeat note, the music now soft and slow with He-Man surrounded by empty black space: "Twenty-five years and my life is still / Trying to get up that great big hill of hope / For a destination."
Watching the video, it's obvious that "Fabulous Secret Powers" is intended to be funny. Created by two animators from a group called Slackcircus who were inspired by Eric Fensler's G.I. Joe PSAs––mainstays on early Internet meme boards––"Fabulous Secret Powers" almost certainly wasn't intended to be New Queer Cinema. But at the same time, there's also no denying that "Fabulous Secret Powers" was ahead of its time on LGBTQ representation.
Unlike many Internet cultural artifacts from the early-mid 2000s, "Fabulous Secret Powers" didn't portray a queer identity as something bad or wrong. Rather, it approached queer identity from the perspective of He-Man, presented here as a closeted queer man (which, for the record, is a common reading of the character by queer people) attempting to come out. The video, while humorous, also places us into He-Man's shoes and plants us firmly on his side. He isn't seen as wrong for wanting to express his feelings. Society is wrong for forcing him to push those feelings down. In 2005, pre-Brokeback Mountain, that was not a common sentiment online.
Ultimately, despite the fact that it rejects heteronormativity and focuses on LGBTQ protagonists, it still might be a stretch to deem "Fabulous Secret Powers" as New Queer Cinema—particularly because most film critics wouldn't want to place feature films and Internet videos into the same categories. Still, "Fabulous Secret Powers" was arguably one of the first queer-centric viral videos to hit a mainstream level of popularity (or at least as mainstream as something could get online in the mid-2000s). So while
Brokeback Mountain certainly paved the way for future generations of Queer Cinema, perhaps "Fabulous Secret Powers" laid the groundwork for someone, somewhere, in some Internet niche, to reassess their views just a little bit earlier.
Tweek and Craig, South ParkComedy Central
Who could have known then, what we know now
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