POLITICS

Faith, Politics, and Abortion: Is Joe Biden a Real Catholic?

If the USCCB had their way, no Catholic would be qualified for political office.

Joe Biden delivers remarks during a DNC post election event at the Howard Theater in Washington, DC, USA, 10 November 2022.

SHAWN THEW/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

In 1960, as John F. Kennedy was running for president of the United States, a question of his faith became a major issue in the campaign.

Only one previous Catholic candidate had ever been nominated by a major party — Al Smith, a Democrat who lost badly to Herbert Hoover in 1928. Many protestant voters believed that Kennedy would be subject to the will of the Vatican and would serve the pope before he served the American people.

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Culture Feature

Kennedy Conspiracies: RFK Jr. Banned From Instagram

Conspiracies and misinformation have played a central role in much of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s life.

Robert Kennedy Jr's speech on Trump's decision to exit Paris climate agreement, Granada, Spain - 08 Nov 2019

Miguel Angel Molina/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

On Thursday environmental activist, lawyer, and vaccine "skeptic" Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was banned from Instagram as part of parent-company Facebook's ongoing fight against misinformation on their platforms.

A spokesperson for Facebook reported that they had cut off his account for "repeatedly sharing debunked claims about the coronavirus or vaccines." This comes just a few months after Kennedy's group, Children's Health Defesne, filed suit against Facebook for rejecting their ads and fact-checking posts about vaccines and 5G. But to truly understand how we got to this point, it's worth taking a look back at the history of misinformation that has swirled around Kennedy's family.

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MUSIC

Bob Dylan’s First New Song in 8 Years Is About JFK and the Death of America

It's an exploration of JFK's assassination and its aftermath.

Bob Dylan - Murder Most Foul (Official Audio)

Bob Dylan has released his first new song in eight years.

"Murder Most Foul" is a 17-minute tapestry of Americana history that is, as most things from Bob Dylan are, folkloric and reverent. Here, the object of Dylan's horror and worship is John F. Kennedy's death, which ties together countless references to everything from ANightmare on Elm Street to "Moonlight Sonata" to Stevie Nicks and Ray Charles.

As violins and drums mutter in the background, Dylan laments America's complex, largely mythological, often wicked history. His focal point is the 1960s and the fallout from JFK's 1963 murder. He mentions Woodstock, the Age of Aquarius, and Altamont, the doomed California music festival that was invaded by Hell's Angels and ended in bloody disaster.

Despite its focus on the mid-20th century, the song veers throughout time and across mediums. The title itself is a reference to Shakspeare's Hamlet, and he specifically shouts out Lady Macbeth in one verse, then pivots to messages of sympathy for a woman whom we can safely assume is Jackie O.

Bob Dylan Revisits His Long, Twisted Relationship with John F. Kennedy

Dylan's complex obsession with John F. Kennedy's death goes far back in time. He apparently called JFK "fake" and a "pretender" and did not vote in the 1960 election. But in 1960, he told Rolling Stone, "I don't know what people's errors are: nobody's perfect, for sure. But I thought Kennedy, both Kennedys – I just liked t hem. And I liked Martin Luther King. I thought those people who were blessed and touched, you know? The fact that they all went out with bullets doesn't change nothin'. Because the good they do gets planted. And those seeds live on longer than that."

Later, when asked about the assassination, he said, "Of course, I felt as rotten as everyone else. But if I was more sensitive about it than anyone else, I would have written a song about it, wouldn't I? The whole thing about my reactions to the assassination is overplayed."

He pivoted yet again thanks to an excess of alcohol. When accepting the Tom Paine Award from the National Emergency Civil Liberties Committee in 1963, allegedly "a drunken, rambling Dylan questioned the role of the committee, insulted its members as old and balding, and claimed to see something of himself (and of every man) in assassin Lee Harvey Oswald."

"I'll stand up and to get uncompromisable about it, which I have to be to be honest, I just got to be, as I got to admit that the man who shot President Kennedy, Lee Oswald, I don't know exactly where—what he thought he was doing, but I got to admit honestly that I too—I saw some of myself in him," said Dylan. "I don't think it would have gone—I don't think it could go that far. But I got to stand up and say I saw things that he felt, in me—not to go that far and shoot."

Now he's gone back on his word and returned to JFK nearly half a century later. "Murder Most Foul" is apocalyptic and brooding, and it can't be an accident that Dylan released it in the midst of a pandemic. "What's new pussycat? What'd I say? / I said the soul of a nation been torn away / And it's beginning to go into a slow decay / And that it's 36 hours past Judgment Day," he drones, words that—like the best Dylan lyrics—seem to apply to anything and everything at once.

"Murder Most Foul" Questions America's Motives and JFK's Legacy

JFK's rise represented a profound moment of all-American optimism, but to many radicals he was just another figurehead. Dylan's confusion and rage at the government feels relevant today, especially because it was released the day after a controversial and resolutely non-populist stimulus package—which allots $500 billion to big businesses while giving a small one-time check to working people and nothing at all to hospitals—was announced.

Sometimes, in these pandemic days, it does feel like we've passed through some kind of long-feared cataclysm, and now we're in the free-fall. John F. Kennedy's assassination, like 9/11 and like COVID-19, was a moment that marked an entire cultural conscience and revealed the vulnerability of American ideals and the insubstantiality of all our great institutions, for better or worse.

But we still have music; that's one thing that's not going away. In the end, "Murder Most Foul" is just as much of an ode to music as it is an ode to the ephemera of the past.

Bob Dylan - Murder Most Foul (Official Audio)www.youtube.com

Scrooged

Why does Bill Murray want to work at the P.F. Chang's in the Atlanta Airport?

In his recent appearance on Amy Schumer's podcast 3 Girls 1 Keith, Murray expressed his admiration for that specific branch of the "Chinese" restaurant chain, remarking that it's "one of the great places."

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Anyone who's eaten at a P.F. Chang's can see the issue with this statement, and if you never have, you can simulate the experience at home with their range of microwaveable frozen meals. At best, it's an underwhelming pastiche of east Asian cuisine. At worst, it's an underpaid service job in the world's busiest airport. Is Bill Murray just being his wacky, random self, inserting himself into random contexts to the surprise and delight of strangers? Or maybe you think he was making some ironic commentary on the hellish existence of corporate service employment. No, no, and wrong. Bill Murray knows something that we don't about Concourse A of the Atlanta Airport.

Think about it. For decades, conspiracy theories have swirled around the Denver International Airport, which is supposedly a hub for the elite secret society known as The Illuminati. But why would this secretive organization make their home so obvious? One of the DIA's most notable landmarks is a 30-foot demonic horse that killed its creator. That is just way too on the nose. The only reason to mark your secret evil lair with such an ostentatious sign of evilness is if that's not your real evil hangout spot at all.

Thrillist

The DIA is just the distraction to keep us from looking too closely at the real evil airport. Bill Murray has given us the key. He didn't say that the P.F. Chang's there is a great place. He said it's "One of the Great Places." It's time to go full-on Jeff Goldblum-in-Independence Day and crack this conspiracy wide open.

First, the evidence: Coca-Cola and CNN. I dare you to think of two organizations more aligned with elite global power than those. And where are they headquartered? New York? LA? Denver? No. They're both in Atlanta! We've already covered that Atlanta's airport is the busiest in the entire world, with more than 50 million travelers passing through each year. How else would you hide the dark, illicit activity of the Illuminati headquarters, if not through a constant flurry of human activity? ATL is also the hub for Delta Airlines—a famously evil company—and Delta is the triangular Greek symbol for change, as in: "the Illuminati uses the Delta Sky Club in Concourse A of the Atlanta Airport as the control center for changing the course of global events."

Next, Bill Murray. He does whatever he wants at all times and seems to be fully immune to cancellation. He's done some genuinely terrible stuff, yet the whole world loves to fawn over him. Is all that adulation just good will left over from Caddy Shack and other movies where he attempts to murder large burrowing rodents? Impossible. The only answer is that he controls his reputation as a member of the Illuminati, with access to all the Elite Powers and Great Places that membership entails.

And finally P.F. Chang's. Other than the fact that it's not the real name of any person ever, and must therefore stand for Powerful Forces (of) Chang(e), what's suspicious about this location in particular? How about the fact that it opens at 6:30 AM? Every other location I've found is closed before 11:00 AM. Who in the world wants to eat bad fake Chinese food pre-dawn? Not even bad fake Chinese people want that. There must be another purpose!

At this point the only explanation should be obvious, but I'll spell it out so the Powers That Be know that I'm watching them: The P.F. Chang's in the Atlanta International Airport contains a secret entrance into the Illuminati's subterranean headquarters, and Bill Murray was expressing his desire to move up in the ranks and gain access to the highest levers of power. We'll have to wait and see how Beyonce and Zuckerberg and Jonathan Taylor Thomas choose to respond.