What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a fashion industry that ignores her?

You get inappropriate laughter, white face paint, and a mononym title for a villain's gritty origin story. In other words: exactly what you deserve.

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The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

Lionsgate

The first excerpt from Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games prequel, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, is now available to read, and the new protagonist might come as a surprise.

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Warner Bros.

I have to get something off my chest, and no, it's not my luscious, curly chest hair.

As The Mary Sue point out in this enlightening article, Marvel apparently decides to shave almost all of their male superheroes' chests. As a dude sporting a pretty shaggy torso mat myself, I can't mince words here: Marvel's behavior is abhorrent, and I won't stand for it.

Everyone who's not a chud understands that body positivity––or at the very least, body acceptance––is, well, positive. In general, our media landscape has followed suit, if perhaps a little slowly. The cinematic landscape is far more diverse today than ever before, and a lot of that diversity centers around rejecting a uniform aesthetic of what is or is not attractive. And yet, as The Mary Sue illustrated, Marvel seems hellbent on telling hairy men that their chest hair is unwanted.

But here's where things get even worse for us forest-breasted lads: It's not just Marvel sending this message of hate.

Take Jason Momoa, for instance. Here's a man with some nice chest hair. Just look at his chest hair as Khal Drogo. That's the kind of chest hair one would expect from a barbarian warlord.

Khal DrogoHBO

Now look at him in DC's Aquaman.

Aquaman ShirtlessWarner Bros.

Undoubtedly, DC made a conscious decision to shave Jason Momoa's chest hair. But why? Is it because swimmers often shave their body hair in order to glide more easily through the water?

Okay, fine. Well, then explain this. Here's Joaquin Phoenix, a handsome man with some nice chest pubix, in You Were Never Really Here.

Joaquin Phoenix ShirtlessAmazon Studios

Now, here's Joaquin Phoenix shirtless in Joker. Can you tell what's missing?

Joker ShirtlessWarner Bros.

Yeah, that's right, no chest hair. Don't even try to tell me that Arthur Fleck just randomly decided to shave his chest during a mental episode, because I don't buy that for a second. The chest shaving of The Joker is an intentional effort by DC to show us that the ideal male body does not have an ounce of pec hair.

But I don't think Marvel, DC, and whatever other hairless superpowered smut purveyors are in it alone. No, I think the rabbit hole goes deeper.

Considering the fact that we live in a capitalist hellscape, what if (and this is just a theory) superhero movies were marketing all their male heroes as bare-chested in an attempt to sell razors? What if the true mastermind behind all these no-chest hair superheroes was Gillette?

Okay, I know that's crazy. It's not like there's…

Marvel GilletteGillette

Oh.

DC Comics GilletteGillette

Oh boy. This is it. Not only has Gillette collaborated with both Marvel and DC on superhero-themed razors, but they also started #TheBestASuperHeroCanGet campaign in what can only be summed up as a hate crime against voluminously stranded men.

If we men take any pride in the strands around our nips, we cannot let this stand. No longer will we let Gillette and their cabal of superhero capitalists tell us that the only male beauty is the hairless kind. We must rise up and throw our razors in the trash. We must pinch our bountiful locks in our fingers and shout, "I'm a hairy man, and that makes me beautiful." Then, at last, we must throw our superhero Blu-rays in the trash. #HairyANDSuper

Good luck finding a movie in 2019 that's sparked more public discussion than Todd Phillips' Joker.

Set in 1981, Joker stars Joaquin Phoenix as Arthur Fleck, a mentally-ill, failed stand-up comedian who turns to a life of crime and chaos in Gotham City. Despite the film spawning debates on mental health, mass shootings, and the value of comic book movies, Joker is a box office smash, becoming the highest earning R-rated movie ever.

One thing isn't up for debate, and that's the dancing ability of Joker. Honestly, Phoenix's dancing is downright impressive. While The Joker displays dark, sadistic, and creepy intentions, Phoenix's moves are dazzling, sophisticated, and majestic. NY Times dance critic Gia Kourlas said Phoenix is a "great dancer" and "moves with uncultivated finesse — dreamily, animalistic, like a rock star."

In Joker, Phoenix has two memorable dance numbers: One takes place in the bathroom and the other on a set of now iconic stairs. The bathroom scene takes place after Arthur kills three men on the subway. While in his faded clown makeup, Arthur runs into a disgusting public bathroom, embraces his inner demons, and celebrates his new love for chaos with a spell-binding dance routine.

If you've been on the Internet in the past month, you've probably already seen the second dance number, which takes place on a set of now infamous Bronx stairs. Fresh off another kill, Arthur celebrates his new love of violence by chaotically dancing down the stairs on his way to guest star on his favorite late-night talk show.


Both dances are expertly crafted, but where do they stand among cinema's most memorable dance scenes?

Dirty Dancing, Final Dance

1 / 5

Nobody puts Baby in a corner, and nobody out dances Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey. Joker's dance scenes might be memorable, but Dirty Dancing has an enrapturing dance number that culminates with the iconic lift during "(I've Had) The Time of My Life." In regards to the lift, New York City-based choreographer Sydnie Mosley said to not try it at home because of the difficulty in "finding that point of balance in the air." Good luck trying to mimic Swayze and Grey. Edge: Dirty Dancing

FILM

The FBI's Afraid of "Joker"—But Here's Why They're Wrong

"Joker" is a mirror, and we need to examine the source of what it's reflecting.

Joaquin Phoenix as Joker

Photo by Faiz Zaki (Shutterstock)

The FBI has warned service members of the possibility of a mass shooting at viewings of Joker,Gizmodo reported.

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CULTURE

Down the Rabbit Hole: Exploring Weird YouTube

From terrible dating advice to Shrek culture, Weird YouTube has it all.

With nearly two billion active users and over 300 hours of content uploaded every minute, it's no surprise that YouTube houses a lot of weirdness.

Beneath its colorful surface – one full of music videos, Fortnite gameplay, and attractive people reacting to mundane things – YouTube brims with bizarre content. From obscure subcultures to strange ideologies, YouTube is rife with proverbial rabbit holes. These tunnels of interrelated videos offer perspective outside of anything close to day-to-day reality.

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