CULTURE

My Darkest Secret Crush: Street Sharks

The ideal male body has a dorsal fin.

Street Sharks - The Animated Series - Intro

As a young boy growing up in the mid-90s, I spent many an afternoon preoccupied with the fantasy of transforming into an anthropomorphic shark.

While Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might have been the era's predominant "group of teenage animal-man crime fighters" cartoon, turtles aren't nearly as cool as sharks. Why would any kid want to mutate into a slow, boring turtle wearing a bandanna when they could mutate into a powerful, vascular shark oozing sex appeal in skin-tight pants?

These are the thoughts that 6-year-old me didn't possess the language to express but undoubtedly understood on a primal level.

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Pharrell Williams

AFF-USA/Shutterstock

Pharrell Williams is evolving.

In a new interview with GQ, the singer, producer, and fashion innovator discussed personal and political evolution, spiritual warfare in America, and his newfound appreciation for the fact that we live in a "chauvinistic" culture—an appreciation he gained through criticism he faced for the lyrics of "Blurred Lines," the 2013 hit he cowrote with Robin Thicke.

When that song first appeared, it was quickly criticized for its "rapey" implications and coercive lyrics that pushed the boundaries of consent. Williams defended the song at the time of its release, and he told GQ that when he created it, he believed the song was actually a tribute to women's independence and sexual liberation. Also, the fact that some women enjoyed the song somehow led him to believe it would be enjoyable for all women. "I didn't get it at first. Because there were older white women who, when that song came on, they would behave in some of the most surprising ways ever… So when there started to be an issue with it, lyrically, I was like, 'What are you talking about?' There are women who really like the song and connect to the energy that just gets you up." (Because older white women are obviously the arbiters of all women's sexual preferences).

Fortunately, his views and understanding changed over time. "I realized that there are men who use that same language when taking advantage of a woman, and it doesn't matter that that's not my behavior. Or the way I think about things," he said. "It just matters how it affects women…. I cared what they were feeling, too. I realized that we live in a chauvinist culture in our country. Hadn't realized that. Didn't realize that some of my songs catered to that. So that blew my mind."

While Pharrell's comments are indicative of a lifetime of ignorance, they actually reveal something that should be praised more: a growth mindset.

Most men, and humans in general, are not born with innate knowledge of what is acceptable and what is not in terms of sexual consent, and a great deal of media and social norms (like hit songs like "Blurred Lines") only serve to rehash distorted perceptions of what is acceptable and what is not, perceptions usually shaped by the very chauvinistic culture that they help perpetuate.

Although Pharrell's comments on "Blurred Lines" might make us cringe, at least he's realized that consent isn't something people should be coerced into, that women often have different ideas of what constitutes consent, and that desire should always be clarified and re-confirmed prior to each sexual act. If more people were like Pharrell, open to learning about what it actually means to be a feminist and willing to listen to others' voices, then we would be living in a very different world.

This doesn't mean we should be willing to forgive inappropriate behavior or provide abusers with a cushion of forgiveness. Too often, men who are implicated in #MeToo cases are willingly reintegrated into society and allowed to continue with their careers, while research and follow-ups with women who reported assault cases reveal that these groups often suffer, in terms of their careers and mental health and other aspects of their lives.

So instead of being preemptively forgiving of willful ignorance, we should be willing to embrace people like Pharrell who reshape their worldviews after learning from their past mistakes. Most of the interview finds Pharrell speaking with a highly tuned sense of moral and ethical responsibility as well as a strong feminist ethic. He openly supports women's leadership and criticizes white male-led masculinity while addressing the fallout that is resulting from the downfall of this ancient and destructive hierarchy. "Man, what would the world be like if women held all of the highest positions worldwide?" he said.

He also addressed the fact that gender politics can't be extricated from other issues like race and class. "If you ask me, when we talk about masculinity, it's also very racial, this conversation," he said. "Because the dominant force on this planet right now is the older straight white male. And there's a particular portion of them that senses a tanning effect. They sense a feminizing effect. They sense a nonbinary effect when it comes to gender."

It does seem like he's had thick blinders on for a very long time. For example, he states that he "just read the Declaration of Independence the other day" and his "jaw dropped" when he saw that the document "[refers] to the Native Americans as merciless savages." On the other hand, while these ideas might be well-known in progressive circles, much of America still celebrates Columbus Day. To collectively grow, we're going to have to be open to a lot of people having these kinds of revelations, which are of course too little too late, but are better than nothing.

Maybe the wisest thing Pharrell says in the whole interview is, "I don't think my opinion is everything. I don't know anyone else's plight." As Socrates once said, "All I know is I know nothing, and I am not quite sure I know that." These ideas are the polar opposite of the message of "Blurred Lines," which is, of course, "I know you want it."

That's not to say that we should forgive people who disregard others' rights to exist or walk safely in the streets, or that anyone should be expected to corral their anger when faced with bigotry. But instead, maybe we should be more open to those who have done the work and grown and changed, and allies should never pretend to be authorities on others' experiences.

The Internet's algorithm may thrive off dissent and snap judgments, and nuance and active listening may be lost causes in this age of polarity, but change and evolution are some of this life's only constants. In light of this, we need to be more comfortable with growth and with admitting that we've done wrong in the past. We need to listen to the voices of others and accept discomfort and criticism instead of resisting them.

Recently, the actress Jameela Jamil faced heat for stating that she only recently learned of the extent of George W. Bush's war crimes in Iran, and in response, she started the hashtag #ProgressNotPerfection in order to emphasize the importance of being open to learning, to questions, and to changing our minds in order to change the world.

So in the spirit of #ProgressNotPerfection, here's to Pharrell speaking the truth and denouncing "Blurred Lines" six years after the fact. It would've been nice if that happened before the song's release, and if we could've been spared the collective trauma of watching Miley Cyrus twerk on Robin Thicke—but that's in the past. Today we're living in the era of flying cars, hopefully a female president, and finally admitting that we don't know a damn thing.

Culture Feature

Every "Man" Angry About Gillette Needs His Diaper Changed

It's called "toxic masculinity" because you soiled your pants.

Two days ago, Gillette, the razor company, released their new Super Bowl spot on YouTube.

Its title, "We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film)," lets you know that this isn't just another commercial. No sir, this is a short film. Gillette isn't just about selling razors anymore. Gillette is about real issues affecting real men. Gillette is woke. So listen up, dude, because Gillette is slicing up some hard truths: toxic masculinity is bad.

Here's the deal: Pretty much nobody likes this commercial—sorry, short film. The problem isn't that it's offensive. The message behind it— that "boys will be boys" is a damaging sentiment that holds men to a lower standard, and that we should be better than that— is spot on. The problem is that it seems disingenuous and pandering coming from a company owned by Procter & Gamble. These issues are too important to be paraded out in a ploy to get us to buy branded razors.

That's not to say the people behind the campaign don't genuinely care about toxic masculinity and the myriad ways in which it negatively impacts both men and women. But if you're actually a woke dude™, you don't need a razor company to tell you toxic masculinity is bad; you already know. And if you're not a woke dude, you're probably not going to become enlightened by a corporation whose primary interest is making money.

Make no mistake, the ad is a bust, missing its target audience completely.


THAT BEING SAID...

Some men are mad about the campaign for a different reason: Gillette is clearly attacking masculinity.

Take professional waste-of-space Piers Morgan, for instance:

Imagine seeing a razor commercial that basically says, "hey guys, let's be nice to each other and not sexually harass women," and thinking, "this is a global assault on masculinity." Imagine that headspace. You would have to be so delusional, so completely immersed in your own victim-complex, that you internalize any piece of commentary on a well-documented phenomena affecting most women as a personal attack.

But Piers Morgan isn't alone in crying about his manflake feewings being hurt by a commercial. Former talented actor and current total nut job James Woods is also getting in on the fun:

Ah, yes, the "men are horrible campaign," the one that, after decades of powerful men getting away with sexual abuse, is finally holding some of them accountable. James Woods is right. Men should be mad! How dare we not be able to assault women unchallenged! Isn't that what it means to be a man? We spit and fart and beat people up and allegedly try to leverage our celebrity to pick up underage girls. And we'll be damned if a stinking razor blade commercial tries to take that away from us.

Some pathetic, non-famous dudes are also mad that their precious manhood is being cut off by big bad Gillette. They've been posting their outrage under #GilletteFAIL.

We're talking about pillars of masculinity here, men to emulate.

Guys who know that the most victimized men are the white ones.


Guys who think "soyboy" and "cuck" are insults instead of confessions of deep-seated insecurity.

Guys who definitely don't have manginas.

And of course, guys who are protesting by not shaving their handsome, oh-so-manly faces.

Let's be honest here. If you claim to value traditional masculinity, but then proceed to get so deeply shaken by a commercial that you need to cry about it on twitter, you are not a reflection of your own values. You are a whiner. You are a complainer. You are a little baby crying into a void and your diaper needs changing. So sure, the Gillette ad may be "virtue signaling," but to the toxic "men" who are so, so offended by it: you're proving their point.

Oh, and check out the video above because as bad as corporate pandering may be, toxic dudes are a whole lot worse.


Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com


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In a long awaited collision of the prettiest boys in show business, Harry Styles recently interviewed Timothée Chalamet for i-D magazine, eliciting soft chants of "kiss...kiss...kiss…" from teens all over the world.

The friendship has been dreamt about for some time, with Tumblr accounts, video montages, memes, and fan fiction dedicated to the cherubic pair.

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