TV

5 Stupid TV Show Pop-Ups That Would Still Be Better Than the "Friends" Pop-Up Experience

The Friends Pop-Up Experience is stupid and anything else would be better.

NBC

Nobody told me life was gonna be this way, and by that I mean nobody told me that every stupid franchise would get a stupid pop-up "experience."

Is Friends the most bland, generic, milquetoast sit-com to ever grace television screens? Yes, of course. Is Joey the most annoying character ever written? Maybe. Do I want to punch David Schwimmer for no good reason? Possibly. Look, people like Friends for some reason, and that's fine. But why would anyone want to pay $29.50 to "experience" walking around a recreation of Chandler's apartment? If you want to walk around someone else's apartment, go to an open house for free. Also, you can "stick a turkey on your head," because dear G*d our entire world is burning.

But hey, if dumb TV show pop-ups are in, let's go all out. Pop-up everything! Here are some other stupid TV show pop-up ideas that people would probably still pay for:

The Office Pop-Up

the office NBC

At The Office Pop-Up, you get to experience a 9-5 workday like never before! Walk around a full recreation of the Dunder Mifflin Office. Sit at Jim's desk and pick up the phone. It's a client with questions about paper stock. Hope you know what you're talking about or you might lose the sale! For lunch, try some of Kevin's famous chili, but be careful, because you need to eat it off the floor. Attend a meeting where a man in a suit says some racist stuff. Guests are forced to stay for a full eight hours.

The Big Bang Theory Pop-Up

CBS

Step out of your living room and into The Big Bang Theory living room. Sit on Sheldon's couch! You can read one of his prized comic books if you want, but make sure not to bend the pages because it could be valuable some day. Best of all, The Big Theory pop-up is fully interactive. Four actors poorly pretending to be on the autism spectrum mill about, confronting guests (especially women) about nerd facts and then awkwardly hitting on them (only women). Just like The Big Bang Theory!

Glee Pop-Up

glee Fox

The Glee Pop-Up experience is kind of like going to a real high school glee club performance, except instead of paying $0, you pay $80. Broadway-level talent was unaffordable, so all of the singers possess roughly the same level of talent as the kids from your real high school glee club, too. In other words, the Glee Pop-Up offers the experience of attending a high school glee club performance because that's exactly what it is. But you still pay $80, okay? The price is justified because it's an experience? How dare you.

The Handmaid's Tale Pop-Up

the handmaids tale Hulu

Welcome to Gilead: every man's favorite American dystopian nightmare for women that seems closer to reality every day! Guests will be split into two groups: male and female. Anyone who doesn't conform to the gender binary is not allowed to participate. Male guests get enjoy the finer aspects of Gilead, including musty studies filled with books and angry glances from your repressed wife. Men will also enjoy a variety of wines and cheeses prepared by Marthas in Gilead-appropriate attire. Female guests get locked in a room where they can enjoy reciting bible verses for the duration of their time slot.

The Sopranos Pop-Up

the sopranos SOPRANOS, THE (US TV SERIES) Anthony Neste/HBO/The Kobal Coll

The Sopranos Pop-Up will be held in an Italian restaurant. Guests will be served heaping portions of baked ziti in Tupperware containers. As they eat their baked ziti, overweight Italian men will loudly discuss hits they've ordered using obvious double-speak for plausible deniability. One overweight Italian man might say, "Gino really whacked the ball," and then another overweight Italian man might respond, "Mikey's sleeping as sound as an old cannoli." Not all of these phrases will make perfect sense, but diners should get the gist.

CULTURE

Why Is Nobody Doing Anything about the Most Prolific (Alleged) Celebrity Sex Offender?

Why does this famous man continue to get away with crime after crime?

Meet the single worst, most prolific (alleged) celebrity sex offender, a man who continues to abuse his power and profit from his position, without anybody lifting a finger to stop him; meet reality TV star Patrick Resnick.

Best known for his role on the US version of Top Gear and a brief stint in public office, Resnick has been hit with at least 22 sexual misconduct allegations running the gamut from sexual harassment to sexual assault and rape. Amazingly, while so many around him have experienced the justice of #MeToo, Resnick has deftly evaded any comeuppance in spite of the fact that he faces more allegations than almost any other celebrity short of Harvey Weinstein.

patrick resnick Patrick Resnick


Resnick, or "Big Pat" as he called himself on Top Gear, gained a following for his loud, brash personality and passion for social justice causes, ultimately coming out with a vocal endorsement of Barack Obama. Publicly, Resnick has often been accused of being a "Social Justice Warrior" or "SJW" by detractors. Very active on Twitter, Resnick has gotten into heated feuds with many prominent personalities, particularly right wing personalities.

But off-screen, Resnick has been dodging sexual assault allegations for years. Some of the accusations were levied against Resnick by contestants on various other reality shows he had been a part of––one claimed Resnick had open-mouth kissed her, groped her, and thrust his genitals on her during what was supposed to be a job interview.

Many of the accounts similarly allege aggressive, unwanted groping and kissing, with Resnick accused of using his positions of authority both as a reality television star and a private business owner to lure in and intimidate women. Multiple women, for instance, claim to have been molested by Resnick at a club he owned. One describes being assaulted during a tour of the club, saying, "I turned around, and within seconds he was pushing me against the wall and forcing his tongue down my throat ... I was stunned."

Resnick has also been accused of misconduct towards underaged girls: Contestants on a teen beauty pageant he was hosting said he would randomly enter their dressing rooms to see them undressed. Many of the details of these accounts have been corroborated by major publications.

On his end, Resnick has publicly denied every single allegation to date. However, he did seem to brag about harassing the underaged girls at his pageant during a radio appearance, stating: "I'll go backstage before a show, and everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything else...You know, they're standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible-looking women. And so I sort of get away with things like that."

Recently, a prominent, well-respected writer with a long career in the public eye came out with rape allegations against Resnick. Her story recounts a chance run-in with Resnick at a department store, during which he asked her for assistance with selecting a gift. As soon as he had her alone in the dressing room area, the writer alleges that Resnick pushed her against a wall, causing her to bump her head, and "he ... pulls down my tights ... forcing his fingers around my private area, thrusts his penis halfway—or completely, I'm not certain—inside me." Her story has been corroborated by multiple independent sources.

Resnick first responded to the claims by saying that he had never met the writer before. However, a photograph of the two together at a cocktail party years prior proved otherwise. Afterwards, Resnick stated that the allegations are false because she's "not my type."

Incredibly, none of the many, many, many allegations against Resnick have stuck so far. With #MeToo in full swing, many powerful people have been held to task for their sexual misdeeds, but not Resnick. How has a reality television star who's been credibly accused of outright rape been allowed to move about unhindered for so long?

Get It?

By now, you've probably realized that there is no liberal, SJW, reality TV star named Patrick Resnick. But aside from his name and his political affiliation, every single piece of information here is true––except it's all about Donald Trump. And yes, he really was on Top Gear. Don't worry about the man in the picture, either––he doesn't actually exist.

This entire piece is intended as a thought experiment targeted towards people who either know about all of the sexual assault allegations against Trump and hand-wave them or anyone who simply doesn't care. The core question: If you found the outlined allegations disgusting when you thought they were attached to a fictional liberal celebrity, why do those same crimes suddenly stop mattering to you as soon as they're attached to Trump?

Assuming you started reading thinking this really was about some liberal reality TV star named Patrick Resnick, you probably reacted with disgust: "Why is nobody doing anything about this guy?" "Why is nobody holding him accountable?" Perhaps knowing he was a liberal made you even angrier. You might have felt a twinge of outrage towards rampant media bias, or thought, "Of course a liberal would do that!"

But no matter what lens you entered the story with, hopefully you read the allegations and thought they were horrendous. Hopefully, at the very least, you thought that the claims against Patrick Resnick should be thoroughly investigated. Because let's be honest, if we really were talking about these same exact allegations against liberal reality TV star Patrick Resnick, everyone across the board would be calling for his head.

Why, then, should a hypothetical reality TV star be held to a higher standard than the President of the United States? E. Jean Carroll's recent accusation against Trump is credible. She claimed she told two people about the incident shortly after the assault, along with citing the specific advice that those people gave her in response. Both parties independently confirmed the full account. Since coming out, she's received death threats in response. Shouldn't we all be calling for an investigation? Isn't the need for further inquiry something we can agree on across the board?

If it were someone else, anyone you disagreed with politically, wouldn't you want them to be held accountable? Why is Trump any different? Why is Trump immune to the reckoning of #MeToo? Why are we doing nothing? If you felt any degree of disgust about the actions of fictional liberal reality TV star Patrick Resnick, your subconscious already knows the answer.

Jennifer Aniston has been forced to deny claims that she had an affair with Matt LeBlanc during Friends.

The pair played Joey and Rachel on the worldwide hit comedy show and even had a little on screen romance (which was short lived and was totally unbelievable).

Now however Star Magazine has reported the claim by 48 year old Matt's father, Paul that their romance transferred off screen.  Speaking from his Florida home, Paul, 73, claims;

"He even had a relationship with one of the girls....Jen.

They would make out in the dressing rooms, he told me about it—it was when she was married to Brad Pitt."

Paul poses in a sultry Matt-does-aging-porn-star type fashion.

There are two noteworthy points to Paul's tale.  Firstly that he has been estranged from his son for pretty much most of his life. The actor was raised by his mother and didn't actually meet his dad until he was eight years old.  Matt did then form a relationship with his father, but cut it off later on because his father started "selling stories about me to the tabloids".  A good call by all accounts considering here we are umpteen years later and Paul is touting comments for money about the Friends gang.

‘Friends’ Jennifer Aniston & Lisa Kudrow Reunite For Curse Off—Watch Now!

The second interesting point is that Jennifer Aniston's publicity crew has issued a denial regarding the claim;

"I have commented in the National Enquirer and others.  It's 100 percent false.

Jennifer has never had a romantic or sexual relationship with Matt LeBlanc."

Now given the gazillion bullshit stories that are written about Jen, her people are well practiced in the art of not making any comment—as every publicist knows, it only draws more attention to the 'story'.  Therefore the decision to comment is strange.  Does issuing a denial indicate a lie or does it make us all think "Huh?".  I mean, why are they giving the story credibility by acknowledging it?

As Daddy mentioned, Jen was married to Brad Pitt at the time of the alleged hook up—this is probably the reason behind the denial.  Jen's team will want her to remain the injured party in the public's view in respect of the whole Angelina Stole My Husband situation.  Any revelation that Saint Jen cheated on Brad prior to his life changing decision to make the movie Mr & Mrs Smith just would not do (although at this point nearly ten years and six children down the line, seriously, who gives a shit?).

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Jennifer, 46, is now engaged to actor Justin Theroux and Matt, divorced from his wife Melissa McKnight in 2006, split earlier this year from his long term partner, actress Andrea Anders.

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Matt is currently starring in critically acclaimed hit comedy Episodes, which has just been renewed for a fifth season.  In 2012 he won a Golden Globe for his performance on the show, in which he (brilliantly) plays himself.

On the matter of Did They Or Didn't They?  There is of course, this photo taken outside a restaurant in 2004—just a pair of Friends or maybe a bit more?  You be the judge.

Friends with or without benefits?