Film Reviews

Cancel Your Netflix Subscription!

There’s nothing on Netflix anymore. The best-of-the-best titles stream on Hulu — from Selena Gomez’s 'Only Murders in the Building' and the brand new, 'Rosaline'

Hulu's Rosaline

via Hulu

You know that shocking, stomach-sinking feeling you get when you catch a glance of your weekly screen time notification? Well, if they tallied up the hours I’ve spent scrolling through Netflix for a tv show or movie — hello, ANY-thing — to watch, I’d undoubtedly feel so much worse.

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TV Features

How To Watch the Tokyo Opening Ceremony — And Why You Can't

Because while so much has changed, one thing remains the same: NBC still sucks.

On Friday evening in Tokyo — 6:55 AM EST — the "2020" Olympic games officially kicked off with an opening ceremony taking place almost exactly a year after it was originally scheduled.

The global upheaval caused by the COVID-19 pandemic has resulted in a number of changes to these games, beyond the obvious delay. For a start, the local feelings about the games have ratcheted up from the usual simmering resentment regarding ballooning costs and the disruption of daily life all the way to full-blown hatred and mortal terror.

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Film Features

How China Is Controlling Hollywood

What "Red Dawn" taught us about defeating Chinese invaders–oops, we mean North Korean.

Photo by nuno alberto (Unsplash)

From Trump threatening to ban TikTok in the US to hordes of angry Americans defending their vituperative rhetoric as "free speech," America is in the midst of a "disinformation war."

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Film Features

How A24 is Saving Movies

How the Small Distribution Company is Giving a Much Needed Voice to First-Time Directors

Set

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

My first proper date with my first ever girlfriend was to see Spring Breakers, the weirdest movie granted a wide theatrical release in 2013.

Directed by the mostly-underground Harmony Korrine, the film became notorious for James Franco's performance as Alien, an off-beat, very colorful gangster with a head covered in dreadlocks and an accent somewhere between a Tallahassee truck driver and Marcellus Wallace. I saw that movie in theatres. I didn't know it at the time, but the A24 Productions logo that kickstarted the experience would go on to become one of the most important symbols you could pin to a movie in the 2010's. It's since become a mark of excellence. Now, in 2020, you see a movie distributed by A24, and you know one thing: that movie will certainly be awesome, but might even be visionary, too. A24 is very quietly saving movies, and they're doing it by going against the most time-held and obvious of box office rules: They invest in uncertainties.

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FILM

Why Sonic the Hedgehog's Movie Design is Genuinely Amazing

What if Sonic looks horrifying on purpose?

What if we've been looking at this whole “Sonic the Hedgehog has teeth and human legs" debacle the wrong way?

From lackluster games to lackluster spin-offs, from Knuckles' weirdly broad shoulders in Sonic Boom to everything else about Sonic Boom, Sonic fans have been shafted since at least the mid-2000s. So it's inevitable that, upon seeing Sonic's grotesque new design in the upcoming live-action movie, everyone would write it off as yet another stab into the bloated carcass of a once great franchise. After all, why the hell would they make Sonic so hideous? The design flaws seem extra strange considering how well they nailed the design of Sonic's arch-nemesis, Dr. Eggman.

Except, maybe it's not so baffling after all. Yes, it's true, if Sonic the Hedgehog is the protagonist of this movie and, somehow, a full team of concept artists and graphic designers and SEGA executives approved his design, then it would stand to reason that there is a legitimate conspiracy to kill the franchise for good. But what if this isn't just another terrible video game movie nobody asked for or wanted? What if this is a deconstruction of terrible video game movies?

As far as video game villains go, Dr. Eggman has never been particularly deep. He's simply a rotund, middle-aged megalomaniac who's partial to robotics and hell-bent on world domination. Put simply, he's a big douchebag. That's always been Dr. Eggman's motivation.

But the Sonic the Hedgehog trailer paints a different picture. In the first scene with Dr. Eggman, played like an asshole Ace Ventura by Jim Carrey, he looks exceedingly normal. Aside from his goofy mustache, this Dr. Eggman isn't the fat, red-suited lunatic from the video games––at least not until the final shot of the trailer. Here, Dr. Eggman is a dead-ringer for his in-game counterpart. This suggests that during the course of the movie, the initial Dr. Eggman we meet will grow into the character we've always known. What if this isn't Sonic's story at all––what if it's Dr. Eggman's?

Through Dr. Eggman's lens, Sonic's horrendous design makes perfect sense. Dr. Eggman isn't a big douchebag trying to exterminate some dumb, blue hedgehog for no reason. He's a top government scientist attempting to capture a fascinating creature with the potential to change the course of science. Consider this version of Sonic as some sort of animal abomination that managed to grow human teeth: how does its DNA relate to the human genome? Does this creature have the potential to grow other human body parts? Could there be an alternative to stem cell research? These are all questions that Dr. Eggman would have certainly considered and, as a top scientist, he clearly realizes that capturing this monster is the best option for the betterment of humanity. (As a side note, the monster is clearly disgusting and a menace to society, so removing it from the public benefits humanity in myriad ways.)

If Dr. Eggman is the protagonist, a human genius at the height of his career who's attempting to revolutionize science and robotics, it makes sense that his antagonist would be a godless blue monster. And if that's the case, Dr. Eggman's motivations––and his fall into obesity––would be all the more compelling.

Hold out hope for the new Sonic the Hedgehog movie. While it certainly looks terrible in every capacity so far, it just might prove to be the greatest video game movie of all time.


Dan Kahan is a writer & screenwriter from Brooklyn, usually rocking a man bun. Find more at dankahanwriter.com


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Film Lists

7 Movies to Look Forward to in 2019 (That Aren't from Comic Books)

Look, "Pokémon: Detective Pikachu" looks like it could be really, really bad; but a true pokemon fan shouldn't care at this point.

Movie

Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

From new seasons of binge-worthy favorites to horrible reboots of reality TV, 2019 will bring some of our dreams and nightmares to the small screen.

On the silver screen, this year will bring a record-breaking number of superhero movies to theaters. But a windfall of new features from masterminds like James Cameron, M. Night Shyamalan, and J.J. Abrams are also slated for release. Here are seven upcoming films on which to pin all your hopes for the future of cinema:

1. Alita: Battle Angel

Release date: February 14

Most of America had probably never heard of Alita: Battle Angel before the teaser trailer dropped a little over a year ago, but heck, the visuals look darn good. Apparently this film has been a passion project of James Cameron's for years, as the director first announced it was going into development in 2003. The movie was held up due to Cameron's work on Avatar, and after proving his talent with some impressive rewrites, the reigns were handed to action film auteur Robert Rodriguez. This movie looks like an epic cyberpunk sci-fi classic in the making.

2. Us

Release date: March 22

Get Out was a perfect horror movie, and no one saw it coming. Us gives us the return of Jordan Peele as writer and director, and this time we're ready for it from the get-go. The trailer is a work of marketing genius, notably taking the Northern California hip-hop classic by Luniz, "I Got 5 On It," and weaving it into a haunting, ambient backdrop. The twist of the film seems to have already been revealed in all of the trailers, but for brevity: a family moves to a new beachfront home in California and are soon visited by shadowy figures. The film seems more like a straight-forward slasher film than the psychologically stimulating Get Out, and everyone should be pumped.

3. Glass

Release date: January 18

Okay, okay, so this is kind of a comic book movie—but not really! M. Night made these guys up all on his own, and as a sequel to his beloved sleeper-hit Unbreakable and Split, we should all be excited. It's uncharted territory for both the fans and M. Night himself, so we're all in this together. The trailers have been hyping the movie for months, and the cast is brimming with fan favorites, like the unparalleled Sarah Paulson, the ghoulishly talented James McAvoy, and the legend himself, Samuel L. Jackson. Oh, and Bruce Willis looks like he'll be in this too, but who knows if he'll be acting, or just kind of…there. Check out the trailer below.

4. Star Wars IX

Release date: December 20

Can the Star Wars sequel trilogy be redeemed from the abysmal fan response to The Last Jedi? Well, Disney scrapped the underdog director strategy and put the King of Cliffhangers, JJ Abrams, back in the saddle, so at least we know we're going to get something we're used to. Promotional material for this final chapter in the trilogy has been sparse, and the beloved main characters from the original trilogy are effectively un-reprisable. At this point, the fans are all just wondering what could possibly be next. Well, one bit of good news is we're getting the original Lando back!

5. Pet Sematary

Release date: April 5

Of all the horror movies that have been rebooted in the last 10 years, none has better deserved a revamp than Pet Sematary. The remake looks dark, eerie, chilling, and refined. From the trailer, Jason Clarke seems to bring a much more nuanced approach to the character of Louis Creed, and it also looks like they've done away with the distasteful element of the "ancient Indian burial ground." As far as horror movie remakes go, this one looks like it's worth the facelift.

6. Godzilla: King of Monsters

Release date: May 31

Alright, almost everyone in America was monstrously disappointed by the 2014 Godzilla reboot. The pacing was sluggish, and we didn't get any of that sweet, sweet Godzilla action until the last 15 minutes of the movie. Well, the producers at Warner Brothers heard our pleas and answered with Godzilla: King of Monsters. With two trailers promising epic monster brawls and dramatic existential conflicts, both the hardcore and casual Godzilla fan should be excited.

7. Pokémon: Detective Pikachu

Release date: May 10

If you were born in the 90's and had a halfway decent childhood, odds are you played a lot of Pokemon growing up. For us now-adult poke-fans, the idea of a live-action, feature-length film starring our favorite magical monsters seemed to be relegated to the world of cheap but excellent fanfiction. But no more. Our dreams have been made real, with the confusing (and potentially disastrous) casting of Ryan Reynolds as everyone's favorite electric mouse, Pikachu. It looks like it could be really, really bad; but a true pokemon fan shouldn't care at this point. We just want to see Pokemon in the real world - if we have to suffer through Reynold's annoying yammering for an hour and a half, so be it.


Ahmed is a media writer, tech enthusiast, and college student. He has a Twitter: @aahsure


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