CULTURE

7 People Besides Greta Thunberg Who Need Donald Trump's "Anger Management" Advice

Why are these people always getting mad about major societal injustices?

Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg arrives to deliver a speech at the Assemblee Nationale, French parliament, in Paris, France, 23 July 2019.

Photo by IAN LANGSDON/EPA-EFE/Shutterstock

In the wake of Time Magazine's selection of Greta Thunberg as their "Person of the Year", critics of science, ice caps, and the existence of youth have come out of the woodwork to criticize the choice.

She's a scold! A puppet! She's "mentally ill!" She's too young to have anything of value to say! But perhaps none have had more trenchant criticisms of Thunberg than the two Donald Trumps, both Junior and Senile. Don Jr. lashed out at Time for overlooking the Hong Kong protesters, a common thread among critics of Time's choice.

After all, the protests have been going on for more than six months now, and they give Americans an excuse to ignore the protests in the Middle East and Latin America—which implicate US foreign policy—and focus on the crimes of mainland China and the thank you messages to Trump. Instead of honoring the people who honored his father, Time Magazine devoted their cover to, in Junior's words, "a marketing gimmick."

It's unclear which marketing department came up with Greta Thunberg. The planet's? Generations-of-people-yet-to-be-born's? Whatever Madison Avenue genius came up with an impassioned teenage girl with Asperger's trying to save the world, give that guy the Don Draper award for clever gimmicks. Bravo. Never would've thought of it myself.


https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg


Not to be outdone though, President Trump tweeted some advice for Greta. Apparently, she needs to work on her "Anger Management problem" and stop involving herself in the grown-up business of destroying the future. Instead, President Trump advised that she should just "go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend. Chill Greta, Chill!" And she took his advice—yay!— altering her Twitter bio to reflect this sage wisdom from one of her biggest moral role models.

With this rousing success, maybe Trump should consider sending similar advice to some other angry people. Here are some current and former rageaholics who could really use a Trump-brand chill pill.

The Parkland Teens

"If you don't do anything to prevent this from continuing to occur, that number of gunshot victims will go up and the number that they are worth will go down. And we will be worthless to you."

Wow, calm down, Emma Gonzalez, why don't you go to a water park or something to take your mind off the trauma you've experienced and the lack of action to address this uniquely American type of horrifying violence.

FDR

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941—a date which will live in infamy—the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan."

Damn, Frankie, hold a grudge much? You're almost as bad as your boy Winston "Beach-Fight" Churchill. I know you guys are worried about those Axis powers trying to take over the world, but why don't you go fly a kite and see how you feel in the morning.

Rosa Parks

"The only tired I was, was tired of giving in."

Geez, it's just a bus seat—and the systematic oppression of black Americans that deprives them of society's best resources and the opportunities to improve their lives. Go get a couple scoops of ice cream and you'll feel better.

The Standing Rock Sioux

"The invisibility of our humanity in this country is literally killing our women; they are offered up as easy prey and their disappearances are often lacking consequences for the perpetrators."

Okay, Chairman Archambault, so the decision to run a hazardous oil pipeline through your tribal lands actually points to a general disregard for the humanity of indigenous peoples, and that results in terrifying mistreatment. But have you considered going to a good old fashioned game of baseball? Might help you relax.

Simone De Beauvoir

"All oppression creates a state of war. And this is no exception."

What is it with these feminist political thinkers always getting so hot under the collar about not having the same rights, freedoms, and legal recognitions as men? Just go to a barbecue and stop worrying so much!

James Baldwin

"To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time."

Okay, James, but have you tried not being relatively conscious? Try huffing some good old-fashioned ether, or downing a couple bottles of high-strength chill pills.

Now if these other hotheads would just take President Trump's sound advice before the year is over, maybe Time will change their minds, and give "Person of the Year" to the kind of calm, chilled out person who deserves it.

I knew my weight had been steadily creeping up since I turned 30, but it happened so subtly, I didn't think it was a big deal. I turned 45 recently, and it turned out that those extra couple of pounds each year had added up. My doctor told me I needed to lose twenty pounds to improve my health, which was a real wake up call. Heart issues run in my family and I'm not getting any younger, so I knew the doctor was right. Staying healthy for myself and my family is really important to me, so I started looking into different programs to help shed the extra pounds.

I've never been a big gym guy. To be honest, I don't really like working out and I hardly have time for it anyway between work and my family, so I knew I needed to focus on changing my eating habits if I was going to reach my goal. Some of the weight loss programs I heard about sounded complicated, like counting points or "macros" or having to weigh my food. It's like they wanted me to become a scientist just to lose a little weight! That's when I did a little Googling and found Nutrisystem for Men. I'd heard of Nutrisystem from their TV commercials and was really happy to see they had a program specifically designed for men like me. They take all the guesswork out of losing weight by sending fully prepared meals and snacks right to your door, all portioned to be the right number of calories for your weight loss.

The Nutrisystem for Men program has been nothing short of incredible for me. Before starting, I was worried I'd have to cut out the foods I like to eat. My wife's friends are always talking about "zucchini noodles" and "cauliflower crust", but I'm a meat and potatoes kind of guy. I wasn't interested in swapping out my favorite foods for their vegetable alternative. On Nutrisystem for Men, I get to eat real burgers, pizza, and pasta that are delivered to my door. The ice cream sandwiches are also delicious. They have over 160+ meal and snack options I can choose from so I never get bored with the food—Mexican one night and Italian the next! I was also concerned the portions might be small, but unlike other cookie cutter programs I checked out, Nutrisystem for Men takes into account the extra calories a man's body needs, so I'm satisfied after meals.

This program is both simple and effective. In only a couple of months, I've reached my goal weight and all I've had to do is follow the plan they send me. I order my meals online, they arrive at my door, and I pop them in the freezer or pantry until it's time to eat. I didn't have to cook and even lost weight without once stepping foot in the gym. I thought I was going to be starving all the time, but the Nutrisystem meal plan allows you to eat six times a day so I never feel deprived. On top of the weight loss, I'm experiencing other great benefits like increased energy and mental clarity. I'm able to focus at work more easily, and I wake up less tired because I'm sleeping better since shedding the extra pounds. It's inspired me to get healthier, and now I'm actually considering working out to feel stronger.

For the first time in my life, I can't wait to go back to the doctor and show him how much weight I've lost. My wife is so impressed with the positive changes I've made through this program, and the kids love that I have more energy to do activities with them. I'll never go back to my old way of eating—this is just too easy and enjoyable. Plus, my meals and snacks cost me just over $2 each, which is super affordable! I feel younger, stronger and more agile. Weight loss is only the beginning—there are so many positive side effects of this program. If you're struggling with your weight, there's just nothing I'd recommend more than Nutrisystem for Men.

UPDATE: The awesome folks at Nutrisystem are extending a special offer to our readers.Follow this link to receive 50% OFF the one time rate with new 4 week auto-delivery order!

This content is sponsored by Nutrisystem.

I'll be honest here, there are three main things that keep me motivated to work out:

1) Thinking about all the food I can eat without feeling guilty if I burn more calories. Fudge brownies... mac n cheese... glazed donuts……...

2) My cute gym outfits from YogaClub: ladies, this is the BEST subscription box you'll ever get. They send you 3-piece, individually styled outfits from designer name brands at an unreal deal. First, you take a short style quiz online so they know what colors & styles & designs you like. Then, sit back (I mean, do some squats!) and wait for their expert fitness fashionistas to individually curate your outfit. Each box is just $79 for over $160 worth of athleisure. This saves you over 60% of what you would've paid in store since they only carry high-end brands like Beyond Yoga and Niyama Sol. It may sound silly, but opening my cute pink box and getting my new hand-picked outfit gets me so excited to look and feel amazing at the gym!

3) Watching cute GIFs of animals working out. Well, not really, but it's great procrastination and I tell myself that if they can do it, so can I. Here are a couple of my favs to help motivate you - and at the end of the list there's a special gift from YogaClub!

Friends who speed walk together, stay together

Laaadies, now let's get in formation

When Netflix 'n chill counts as your workout

When you tell yourself you're gonna do sit ups & then realize... that's not happening (watch until the very end!)

When all your fit friends are working out so now you have to

Yay! You made it to the end! Watching animals workout is pretty much like working out yourself… right? If that wasn't motivating enough for you, I highly recommend YogaClub. What's not to love about high-quality athleisure outfits for a price more amazing than these GIFs (almost)? You can pause or cancel your membership easily online, and there's no quarterly or annual commitment - you only pay when you're getting a new box. So now, take the 3-minute style quiz and get excited for your new outfit!

Get Motivated: Our friends at YogaClub are offering a special discount to our readers. Follow this link to knock your monthly price down from $79 to $69!

Recently, I've heard about all these dinner-delivery kits that show up on your doorstep with pre-planned dinners and groceries, neatly organized and ready to cook. I thought maybe they could save me some much needed time and energy to make my life easier. Over the past few years, making dinner has become a chore. I used to like to cook, but recently, I've been too tired to decide what to make for dinner, and my husband and I revert to the same boring meals every day. I tried a few dinner delivery services first, but HelloFresh, which came recommended by a friend (greatly appreciated), totally changed my lifestyle.

HelloFresh recipes take only 30 minutes, and the dinners are fresh and delicious. My husband, is a simple steak-and-potatoes guy, and I like my salmon and veggies, so we needed something simple and versatile. Some of the other meal-kits had me chopping vegetables for 20 minutes and spending more time cooking than I'd planned for. But HelloFresh allowed me to cook my dinner stress-free and with very little setup and cleanup.

Every HelloFresh meal comes in mini boxes perfectly packed with everything I need for each recipe. Each box fits neatly in my fridge, and it's ready to go when I'm ready to cook. It helps me break the cycle of just grabbing a bag of chips and plopping on the couch.

We like the Classic Plan, which provides 3 nights of dinner for two people each week. I am picky when it comes to veggies; I like them colorful and crispy, but off-season grocery store specials can make this challenging. The HelloFresh veggies were just the way I like them—beautiful orange carrots, green broccoli, and red tomatoes.

My favorite recipe was the Shrimp Burgers with Sriracha Mayo and Carrot Fries. I followed the instructions and found the burgers, including the sriracha mayo, to be surprisingly delicious. The recipe called for a brioche bun that we warmed in the oven for 5 minutes before. It was heaven: just like when you get to the bakery first thing in the morning. The carrot fries were something I never would have thought up on my own. We sliced the carrots so they looked like orange french fries, drizzled them with olive oil, a pinch of salt and pepper, and baked them for 15 minutes— that was it. Easy peasy. Altogether it was a wonderful meal, and even the cooking part was fun.

I tried HelloFresh with hopes it would save me time, but it's actually helped me get back into cooking. I don't have time to be a gourmet chef or the energy to come up with creative meals, but I want to eat healthy, and live a more balanced lifestyle, something HelloFresh helped me to accomplish with ease. The quality of produce was just as fresh as my farmer's market, and they have really good meats. Plus, their website offers a variety of plans and dietary options, and they allow you to turn on and off delivery each week or pause your account. And you can cancel at anytime.

Update: The folks at HelloFresh are extending a special offer to our readers.Follow this link to get $80 OFF including FREE shipping on the first box!

Whoever you are or wherever you live, I can bet you that you've heard of meal kits. You may not know much about them, but I'm fairly sure you've heard of them. Instagram, Facebook, or even through your mailbox, you've heard of them somewhere.

For those of you living under a rock, meal kit companies like HelloFresh send you recipes and the exact ingredients to make 3 meals for two people (frequency and servings are flexible), in a box right to your door. So instead of measuring out 2.7 tablespoons of curry powder, you bung it all together, and voilà, you have yourself a delicious, home-cooked meal.

While I, like you, have been aware of their existence for quite a while, I had never considered it for myself. I can make six recipes well, and I don't see why I would need a service like this. Then I was over at my mate's place, who is a famously lousy cook, burning both toast and baked beans when we lived together at university, and he presented this divine looking steak with a chimichurri dressing and a potato and spinach salad.

He swore it hadn't just come from the local takeaway, but I wasn't convinced, that was until he showed me the HelloFreshrecipe card. I realized that a meal kit wasn't for the lazy or the privileged bloke, but for anyone who liked food and needed the inspiration to spice up their weekly dinner routine.

I ordered a box on the way home to surprise my girlfriend Olivia, and a week later we gave it a go. It was so straightforward to order, and I even got to choose which meals we were going to have in the box, even though that was quite difficult as they all looked so tasty. It was new, it was fresh, and it was also a bit of a laugh too.

I value convenience very highly because when I get home from work, all Olivia and I want to do is quickly whip up something to eat and argue over what to watch on the telly, not do a shop then spend 2 hours cooking. With HelloFresh, we can not only make these tasty new dinners with just 30 minutes in the kitchen, but we also get to try new flavors and cuisines that we never thought we'd cook up ourselves. We've even started becoming more adventurous with the food we eat.

The first thing Olivia said to me when we sat down to the first meal was, "this is bloody good." I was stoked. I guess we associate convenience with something bad for you, boring or not tasty, but that is certainly not the case with HelloFresh.

It has really re-inspired our dinner time, as we are no longer eating the same thing week in, week out. We've continued it ever since for 3 meals a week, giving us the chance to still eat out when we want to. With the meals starting at $9 each, it's hard to see how we could get better variety in such a convenient way and at such a good price versus the supermarket.

Writing this, I can already tell you're a tad skeptical about the whole thing and fair enough, I was too.

I can honestly say though it's changed our week, coming home knackered and not having to go down the shop or think of what to have, the excitement and simplicity of HelloFresh makes dinner a breeze.

Update: The folks at HelloFresh are extending a special offer to our readers! Follow this link to get $80 off HelloFresh!