For when your friend Dan isn't as funny as he thinks he is.
A bunch of bored researchers already published the obvious finding that 2019 was one of the loneliest times in human history.
2020 is looking to handily break that record. Considering social media's emphasis on constant human connection, it usually takes hard work and dedication to avoid people at all costs. But now, with over half a million podcasts streaming on Apple alone, we're finally free to go about our daily routines without speaking to another living soul. Still, when the number of available podcasts is bigger than the population of Miami, choosing which hosts should replace your real-life friends is a challenge.
But since your friends were never as funny as they thought they were (DAN Kahan), here are the top seven comedy podcasts you should be listening to:
MFM is hosted by Karen Kilgariff, a long-time comedian who will always remind you, "Fuck off, I'm almost 50," and Georgia Hardstark, a food blogger who hates on her own vocal fry. The two friends are "lifelong fans of true crime stories telling each other their favorite tales of murder and hearing hometown crime stories from friends and fans." But their natural banter and anecdotes about how worthless their 20s were rank MFM as one of iTunes' top four comedy podcasts.
Actor and comedian Henry Zebrowski co-hosts with fellow comedian Ben Kissel and their nerdy friend Marcus Parks. Last Podcast on the Left covers "all the horrors our world has to offer, both imagined and real, from demons and slashers to cults and serial killers." Tackling the most bizarre conspiracy theories and true crime stories has clearly driven the guys insane, and it's a miracle they can get through one cohesive story.
The actor hosts "a podcast that celebrates the messiness of being human." After parodying a love expert on The Ellen Show, Ellen Degeneres praised Shepherd's genuine talent for listening to strangers' problems and giving them sound advice. He launched Armchair Expert from the loft above his garage shortly after; now it ranks near the top of the iTunes chart.
Is there ever a good excuse for a terrible movie? Grace and Frankie's June Diane and her husband, Paul Scheer, co-host with Jason Mantzoukas, as they examine how a film can be "so bad it's amazing."
5. "WTF with Marc Maron"
The veteran comedian's weekly podcast has been going strong since 2009. Maron interviews guest-starring comedians and actors about controversies, allegations, and inflammatory current events with the same no-bullshit approach used in his comedy.
6. "The Flop House"
Brooklyn-based hosts Dan McCoy, Stuart Wellington, and Elliot Kaplan also dive deep into bad filmmaking. Every two weeks they select a critical and/or commercial failure to break down how and why it failed. Sometimes they try to explain the debacle with behind the scenes gossip; other times, Dan has no idea what the fuck was happening in the movie.
Comedian Nicole Byer is extremely single and wants to know why. Even though "she's smart, funny, has a fat ass, and loves giving blow jobs," Byer talks about drowning in the dating pool under role-play fetishists and weird penises. Bonus: if you leave her a dirty comment, she might read it on-air.
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Black people can't feel safe in America just by playing Pokemon or building LEGOs.
During times of hardship, we tend to gravitate towards nostalgia as a form of comfort and escapism.
Playing Pokemon games or building LEGO sets can transport us back to a time when life felt less complicated, but the sad truth is that those simpler times were always an illusion, and not every child had the privilege of living in that sort of bubble.
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Don't worry—no Bernie bros here.
For the few who haven't noticed by scrolling Twitter to the point of agony, the political climate sucks right now.
Partisan politics are pretty much always messy, soul-crushing chaos, but especially these days as the fate of the 2020 presidential election gets closer (but not too close...it's still March, people). Still, during these trying times, what better way to break up the centrist white man narrative than with some female-hosted political podcasts?
Whether you're a full-speed-ahead progressive or a more subtle centrist, there's a podcast to help you feel less alone.
Among the slew of podcasts that spawned from the fateful 2016 election is the Electorette, which features interviews with brilliant female minds—politicians, authors, activists, you name it. What each guest of the semi-anonymous host, Jenn, share is a passion for progressive policy and leading the resistance.
The Electorette Podcast
The Electorette Podcast open.spotify.com
Julia Claire and Kate Willett are comedians, political activists, and hosts of Reply Guys, a podcast in which they discuss progressive politics with like-minded guests with a healthy dose of filterless humor. If hating billionaires is a hobby of yours, this one's for you.
Reply Guys open.spotify.com
Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers host Pantsuit Politics, a bipartisan podcast that values connection and conversations to help us all understand politics a little better. This country isn't going to get any better if we don't learn how to cohesively and calmly discuss it, right?
Pantsuit Politics open.spotify.com
The Rachel Maddow Show
You know Rachel Maddow for her namesake commentary show on MSNBC, but her liberal hot-takes are available on-the-go in podcast form, too.
The Rachel Maddow Show
The Rachel Maddow Show open.spotify.com
On One With Angela Rye
Angela Rye is a CNN political commentator. Her podcast, On One, searches for honest, nuanced answers to the most important issues in politics, particularly how they pertain to race and pop culture.
On One with Angela Rye
On One with Angela Rye open.spotify.com
Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour Podcast
Hating Donald Trump has never been so uncensored. On Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour Podcast, the original "sexy liberal" talks politics and pop culture with her comical friends over stiff drinks.
Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour Podcast
Stephanie Miller's Happy Hour Podcast open.spotify.com
Hear the Bern
National Press Secretary Briahna Joy Gray hosts this podcast about everyone's favorite democratic socialist, Bernie Sanders, featuring discussions with campaign staffers, organizers, activists, regular people, and sometimes even the man himself.
Hear the Bern
Hear the Bern open.spotify.com
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