FILM

Marriage Story Might Help You Understand Your Parents' Divorce

Divorce is an emotionally turbulent ride, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Admittedly, I'm a little late to the hype train for Marriage Story, director Noah Baumbach's movie about a spiraling divorce between two people who still care about each other.

For months, seemingly every other article in the entire cine-sphere has been about how Marriage Story is Netflix's best movie of the year or how Adam Driver walked out of an interview after they showed a clip of him singing or how dancing Scarlett Johansson is a meme now.

So I got it. Marriage Story was supposed to be very good. But in spite of the accolades, I decided to hold off on watching it immediately. I had a feeling that, having grown up as a child of divorce, Marriage Story might induce some unpleasant flashbacks. I wanted to make sure I was in the right headspace to properly deal with that before going in.

To some extent, I was right. There are a lot of elements of Marriage Story that I imagine will drum up painful memories, both for people who have gone through divorces themselves and children who watched their parents go through the process. The most memorable scene in Marriage Story, perhaps, is the vicious argument between Adam Driver's Charlie and Scarlett Johansson's Nicole, wherein all of Charlie's pent up rage, both at Nicole and the divorce process, explodes. It's a scene absolutely surging with raw emotion, and it reminded me of all the fights I grew up watching at home.

But what truly makes Marriage Story great, aside from the impeccable performances from Driver and Johansson, is the catharsis it offers throughout. Baumbach's exploration of divorce is extremely nuanced, treating both of its lead characters with compassion and empathy. The movie opens with Charlie and Nicole reading letters that convey the things they love about one another, portraying both characters as exceedingly real. In the same way that sometimes people fall out of love over time, sometimes the same thing we once loved about someone transforms into something irreconcilable.



For instance, at one point in their relationship, Nicole loved Charlie's sense of direction in life and his ability to seemingly always know exactly what he wanted to do. But as their relationship proceeded, the downsides to that trait came into starker focus––Charlie always knew what he wanted to do, in large part, because he valued his own opinion and wants above everyone else's. Eventually, Nicole's love for that aspect of Charlie soured into the feeling that she had lost her own identity throughout their relationship.

The point to all of this is that, a lot of the time, children of divorce have a hard time reconciling two distinct images of their parents––the first image being their parents in a functioning relationship with one another and the second image being their parents as bitter enemies. Of course, this isn't true for all divorces, but it certainly was for me. Naturally, as children we oftentimes choose between our parents. But the beauty of Marriage Story is in its ability to show us an intricate, sometimes brutal conflict between two mostly decent people without making us pick a side.

Both Charlie and Nicole's hardships through the divorce process are on full display, and both believe that they're doing the right thing. They both love their son. Their relationship was complex, failing for multiple reasons, and their contempt is complicated by the fact that they both still care about one another. And after the dust settles, they figure out a way to be co-parents, even if it's not ideal for either party.

In a sense, Marriage Story is an almost wholesome view of divorce, ultimately conveying the message that even though divorce is harsh, brutal, awful even, eventually it will be over. And once it's over, people can heal, and people can change, and people who care about their children can continue to be there for them. My prevailing feeling by the end of Marriage Story wasn't bitterness or sadness, but hope. It's an emotionally turbulent ride, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

In the real world, people are much more complicated than whatever black-and-white images we may have of them from specific points in our lives. People change over time, and if they can change for the worse, maybe they can also change for the better. And while every relationship is certainly complex and entirely different, perhaps Marriage Story will help you look at whatever divorce lies in your past with a fresh perspective.

Adam Driver 'White Noise' premiere, New York Film Festival, USA - 30 Sep 2022

Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock

If you haven't heard, Marriage Story exists, and the memes are abundant.

After many years lurking in the shadows, tall man Adam Driver seems to be undergoing a transformation from mid-level meme to mainstream meme, and here at Popdust, we're very happy for him (albeit still half-convinced he's just a knockoff Keanu Reeves).

Marriage Story has received glowing reviews so far, and has also been excelling in screencap format. Most likely, this is thanks to the strength, notoriety, and expressiveness of its stars. Though most people would struggle to compete with Scarlett Johansson, who is capable of playing a tree, Driver seems to be even more distraught and emotive than our resident foliage impersonator in the film's seminal fight scene.

One frame in particular has captivated our imaginations:

Yes, it's a glorious before-and-during image of Adam Driver hitting a wall. It's the depressing, dramatic, suburban norm-core version of a primal scream, and it's instantly, beautifully relatable. In 2019, a year of chaos and pent-up energy, I'd imagine most people can relate to this image for one reason or another.

Perhaps 2020 will be better, a decade of change and action. But for now, no one is okay. There are just so many questions. Can we stan ScarJo after her Woody Allen comments? Just how tall is Adam Driver, really? How tall is Adam Driver, spiritually? Do we need another film about white people getting divorced within the confines of a beige room? The climate is changing so why even get married and have children when you're going to damn them to a future of unbearable suffering?

But we human beings are resilient. Maybe we will institute a Green New Deal and Medicare For All so people can suffer through unbearable marriages on this unbearable yet shockingly magnificent planet in relative peace and harmony.

Regardless, Kylo Ren, we relate.






TV

Oprah, "Neverland," and a Lot of Casting: This Week in TV

While you were still wiping up your sweat/drool from the "Shallow" performance, picking your jaw up off of the floor after Green Book won Best Picture, and humming along to the very classic songs from the "Co-Op" soundtrack, here's the TV news you may have missed.

imageSPACE/Shutterstock

While you were still wiping up your sweat/drool from the "Shallow" performance, picking your jaw up off of the floor after Green Book won Best Picture, and humming along to the very classic songs from the "Co-Op" soundtrack, here's the TV news you may have missed.

Oprah to Calm us all Down after Leaving Neverland

Leaving Neverland, the documentary about Michael Jackson's alleged sexual abuse of two young boys in the 1990s is so harrowing that counselors were waiting in the lobby during intermission of the film's premiere at this year's Sundance Film Festival. Because HBO can't provide counselors to all viewers when it airs the reportedly grueling, sexually-explicit 4-hour documentary on Sunday and Monday, they will air a special hosted by TV and entertainment's most comforting presence: Oprah. On Oprah Winfrey Presents: Leaving Neverland, Winfrey will host a Q&A with Jackson accusers Wade Robson and James Safechuck. The special will be taped in front of an audience of sexual abuse survivors and will air at 10 pm on March 4, immediately following the conclusion of the 2-part series (part 1 airs March 3 at 8 pm). Jackson's estate and family have denied all allegations.

JBH Replaces KLG

The Today Show officially announced that Kathie Lee Gifford would pass her wine glass along to Jenna Bush Hager. Gifford announced her departure from the fourth hour of Today with co-star Hoda Kotb last December. Hager, the daughter of former President George W. Bush, has been at Today since 2009 as a reporter and regular correspondent. Gifford, who herself claims to have "been in this business for 120 years," has co-hosted with Kotb for nearly 11 years. No word yet on who they will tap to record a new theme song.

90210.2

We are truly living in the era of Peak TV. Just when you think everything has been done, a new show jumps on the scene to provide an entirely new idea of what TV can achieve. The reboot of Beverly Hills, 90210 is not that show. Fox released a 10-second teaser announcing the return of the series, set for this summer. The gang is headed back to the Hills—stars Jason Priestley, Jennie Garth, Ian Ziering, Gabrielle Carteris, Brian Austin Green, and Tori Spelling are all confirmed, so far—only this time, the actors will be playing versions of themselves who get meet up to try to put a reboot together. Did you follow that? The reboot is about the reboot. Clever. Let's hope no one mentions the 2008 rebooted version or the universe will implode.

NBC's Got Love for the 99

After a slap-dash, 48-hour resuscitation following Fox's cancelation, NBC has once again given new life to Brooklyn Nine-Nine, this time renewing it for a seventh season. Nine-Nine has proven to be good business for NBC, and they recently expanded their sixth season order from 13 episodes to 18. Its dedicated and vocal fanbase took to Twitter to gif their excitement, but the best, most heartwarmingly on-brand tweet had to be the one in which the cast and crew learn the news.

Casting Calls

This week ushered in a slew of casting news. Brittany Snow will star in an untitled Fox drama based on the Australian Sisters, to be directed by Russian Doll's Leslye Headland. Jane the Virgin spinoff, Jane the Novela, has found its new Jane in East Los High's Jacqueline Grace Lopez. Showtime darling Damian Lewis (Homeland, Billions) will head to A+E with Damian Lewis: Spy Wars, a docu-drama look at real stories of global espionage. Goodfella Ray Liotta is said to be joining the cast of David Chase's Sopranos prequel movie, The Many Saints of Newark. And, in casting that wasn't: George R. R. Martin will not be making a cameo in the final season of Game of Thrones.

And, Finally, Watch Steve Carell Jump Out of a Box for Jenna Fischer

He presented himself as a gift for his former co-star's birthday on Busy Tonight.


Rebecca Linde is a writer and cultural critic in NYC. She tweets about pop culture and television @rklinde.



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