A girl can dream.
American Horror Story is gearing up for its 10th season, and Sarah Paulson, Evan Peters, Finn Wittrock, Lily Rabe, and Kathy Bates are signed up to return. So is Macaulay Culkin, and that fact alone is the only reason that I might actually watch the show.
Don't get me wrong: I loved AHS when it first came out. Murder House disturbed me more than most horror flicks ever have, and Asylum and Coven were both wonderously twisted and genuinely well-written. But somewhere along the way, things started getting formulaic. The excess of violence felt less purposeful and more like empty gore. The campiness felt less resonant, the characters less sympathetic. By Hotel, I was done.
I never thought I'd return to American Horror Story. I did binge-watch Roanoke during a rather low period in college, but watching that miserable show actually might qualify as self-harm more than anything else. I stumbled on someone watching an episode of 1984 while home for the weekend and felt my insides shriveling up like the baby corpses in the basement of the murder house.
Then, AHS announced that Macaulay Culkin is joining the cast this season. They haven't yet announced the series' title, but I am sincerely hoping that we'll be graced with American Horror Story: Macaulay Culkin, starring Macaulay Culkin as himself.
That might be the only hope the series has left. Culkin could star as a haunted, washed-up former child actor who continues to relive the traumas of his notorious near-death experiences during the filming of Home Alone. The whole thing could be a commentary on childhood and memory and the thin lines between commodity and tragedy. It could be about the commodification of violence in Hollywood and mostly just about Macaulay Culkin, waking up screaming in the night as he hears yet another killer trying to break into his home.
Most likely, AHS's 10th season will be called something like "AHS: Martians," "AHS: Zombies" or "AHS: Beach House." I may also be converted by a show called "AHS: Climate Change," but that might be too real.
You can watch the ominous and admittedly aesthetically pleasing first glimpse below, via Ryan Murphy's Instagram account:
Despite all the headlines that have spread rumors about him over the years, Culkin actually seems to be doing quite well. He's dating Brenda Song, and he has a satire website called Bunny Ears, a podcast with 100+ episode, and two cats named Apple and Dude. He was once in a pizza-themed comedy band and his legal name is "Macaulay Macaulay Culkin Culkin." And now we'll get to see him embroiled in at least a few brutal murders.
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SahBabii, UnoTheActivist and more make up this weeks under appreciated releases
Juice WRLD's posthumous release, Legends Never Die, has already sold over 400,000 copies, putting it in the running for the biggest release of 2020.
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The next cast of "AHS" has been announced, and we're still not sure if this show is okay.
American Horror Story has been feeding America's craving for creepy, campy horror since 2011.
With the cast of season 10 including Macaulay Culkin, many viewers are hoping that the show leans further into its cutting social commentary and goes easier on the gratuitous sexual violence and grotesque body horror that's detracted from its later seasons. Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk have created a show that steps over the line time and again to challenge our notion of decency and decorum in an age of pandemics, mass shootings, fake news, and Marianne Williamson (a.k.a. actual Supreme witch). At times the show has almost certainly gone too far in its depictions of the terror humans wreak upon each other. It's also created disturbingly sympathetic villains who challenge the harsh tribalism that divides most American opinions—suggesting, if only for the duration of a gory amputation scene, that the shadows of Absolute Evil we see in the world are usually projections of the evil lying within ourselves.
All that's to say: Murder House was the absolute best season of AHS, and if you don't agree, then you're not the Supreme. Whether you're ready to cancel AHS for stepping over the line or you love to confront the show's moral ambiguity, these are some of the most stomach-churning moments throughout the show's eight seasons.
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