Florence Pugh and Zach Braff

Photo by Stuart Hardy/ABACAPRESS.COM/Shutterstock

Florence Pugh has recently been the subject of much media buzz thanks to the age gap between her and her partner, Zach Braff.

Pugh, who is 24-years-old, has been dating Scrubs star Zach Braff, who just turned 45, for nearly four years. As Pugh's star has risen thanks to hit films like Little Women and Midsommar, media and fans alike have begun to question Braff and Pugh's age gap. Finally, tired of all the abuse, Pugh posted the following video to her Instagram account on April 9th. Watch the video here.

In the video, she firmly warns fans against commenting about her relationship on her posts. "I will not allow that behaviour on my page. I'm not about that. It makes me upset and sad that during this time when we really all need to be together and supporting and loving one another... a few of you decided to bully for no reason," the star said candidly. She goes on to say that she has been working and earning money since the age of 17 and paying taxes from the age of 18 and can make her own decisions when it comes to relationships.

"I'll underline this fact,' Pugh said. "I do not need you to tell me who I should and should not love and I would never in my life who they can and cannot love. It is not your place and really it has nothing to do with you. I don't want this on my page, it's embarrassing, it's sad and I don't know when cyberbullying became trendy or a points system. I don't know why it's a cool thing."

More recently, in an interview for Elle UK, the actress spoke out about the online abuse again, saying "I know that part of being in the spotlight is that people might invade your privacy and have opinions on it, but it's bizarre that normal folk are allowed to display such hate and opinions on a part of my life that I'm not putting out there," she said. "It's a strange side of fame that you're allowed to be torn apart by thousands of people even though you didn't put that piece of you out there." She went on to say, "I don't want to talk about it because it's not something I want to highlight, but my point to all this is that isn't it odd that a stranger can totally tear apart someone's relationship and it's allowed?"

While Pugh's rebuff of cyberbullies was inspiring, the question still remains: Why do people have such an issue with Pugh and Braff's relationship? Older male celebrities dating younger women is a tale as old as time. Think of Leonardo DiCaprio, known for dating women as much 20 years his junior, or Dennis Quaid (65) and girlfriend Laura Savoie (26). These couples don't receive the kind of abuse Braff and Pugh have weathered, so what sets them apart? Perhaps the answer lies with Pugh's fame. She is unquestionably the bigger star in the couple, so maybe fans' image of who a beautiful young star should date isn't compatible with Braff, who is cute in a non-threatening way and in no way the traditional Hollywood heart throb.

But then why don't people have issues with Leonardo Dicaprio dating little-known models and actresses? Well, sexism, of course. We expect a big star like Leo to date young beautiful women, and we have no issue with the age gap because we don't feel like we know the women in the relationship; they're just unknown, beautiful faces. Not only that, but we expect famous women to date men who are even more famous than them, in order to increase their own star power. Meanwhile, famous men can exist in their own orbit of stardom and date who they choose.

We expect young female starlets like Pugh to date hunky heartthrobs while she's in her prime, before she ages out of the narrow window in which women are valued in Hollywood. It makes us uncomfortable that Pugh is dating an older man who is not a massive star and not sexy in a traditional way, because it doesn't fit with the narrative we've come to expect from the people we choose to bestow fame upon.

Our response to Pugh's relationship also reflects the way society views a woman's personal autonomy. When Ashton Kutcher was dating much older Demi Moore, no one questioned his decision-making. But people seem to think that Pugh needs to be warned against making a mistake in dating Braff, that she isn't capable of making her own relationship choices. Why? You guessed it: sexism. Culturally, we don't trust women to make decisions in the same way we trust men. Not only that, but in the case of Leo and his semi-anonymous young lovers, in our eyes, the women in the relationship don't possess the kind of personal autonomy Pugh does; we don't know them, they're just pieces of eye candy. Pugh, on the other hand, has become a human being in our eyes, something that isn't automatic when we perceive women the way it is for men. But that doesn't mean she's free from the unfair expectations we place on all women, famous or not.

On some level, we feel that Florence Pugh owes us a sexy, tumultuous relationship with some hot young Hollywood star. We feel that since we have decided to make her famous, to watch her movies and invest in her personal life, it is her duty to entertain us. Having a stable relationship with a 45-year-old nice-guy who doesn't have a six pack and is known for a funny sitcom—not hit action movies—isn't entertaining. That isn't what we want to read about in the tabloids.

So, summarily, while you may think that it's anti-feminist that Pugh is dating a much older man, and you may think that commenting on her relationship is in some way proving your devotion to her, you couldn't be more wrong. If you have a problem with Pugh dating Braff, you're essentially saying that she can't be trusted to make her own choices, and you're making her relationship about you and your own prejudice, not her and her happiness.

Just let Florence Pugh and Zach Braff be happy, okay?

Amidst the loud colors, fanciful outfits, and poppy beats of your average K-POP boy group music video, the most foreign element to an average Western viewer likely has nothing to do with the pageantry. Rather, it's the fact that the boy band members frequently touch one another.

Take the music video for BTS's "Boy With Luv" featuring Halsey, for example:

BTS (방탄소년단) '작은 것들을 위한 시 (Boy With Luv) feat. Halsey' Official MVwww.youtube.com


All the members of BTS sit on a couch together, with one member's arm draped around another. Their relationship isn't portrayed as sexual or romantic. They're just really close friends. In Japan and South Korea, this act of intimate, platonic touching is called "skinship." And it's viewed as totally normal between straight male friends.

Human beings crave physical touch, and a lack of touch, or "skin hunger" as some psychologists call it, can result in negative psychological effects similar to depression. But in Western culture, straight men platonically touching other straight men is stigmatized. Two women can hold hands or cuddle without any fear of presumptions that they're sexually intimate with one another, but for male friends, this isn't the case.

The same is true for emotional intimacy. In spite of what many believe, men crave emotional intimacy just as much as women do. At the same time, men are socialized to be stoic and emotionally unavailable, especially around other men. As a result, men struggle to make and maintain friendships compared to women, which can lead to intense loneliness, especially later in life.

Unfortunately, Western media offers lackluster representations of male friendship, oftentimes relegating anything deeper than surface-level bromance to the realms of goofball comedy or "gay panic" humor. Movies like I Love You, Man and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry turn male friendship into a source of laughter rather than a genuine connection between two people who care about one another. Even Scrubs turned the close friendship between J.D. and Turk into a jokey musical number, rife with homoerotic innuendo.

Surprisingly, the best representation of a healthy male bromance to-date was in the 2007 high school comedy Superbad. Amidst all the stupid dick jokes, the relationship between Jonah Hill's Seth and Michael Cera's Evan feels as real as any rock solid high school friendship––the kind men tend to miss and yearn for as they age.

While Superbad's plot revolves around two high school losers' quest to get laid before going to college, the movie also possesses a solid emotional core regarding fears of growing up and moving on in life. Arguably,one of the best male friendship scenes in any movie comes near the end of Superbad when, after a big fight, Seth and Evan reconcile during a sleepover. The two talk openly about their fears regarding college and losing touch and verbally express their platonic love for one another. It's a sweet, honest scene, funny but not played for laughs.

I Love You, Man - Superbad (7/8) Movie CLIP (2007) HDwww.youtube.com

"I love you. It's like why don't we say that every day, why can't we say it more often?" says Evan.

"I just love you, I just want to go on the rooftop and scream 'I love my best friend Evan,'" replies Seth.

They're right. Why shouldn't male friends be more intimate with one another? Why are two men platonically showing affection for one another seen as socially inappropriate?

For whatever reason, the stigma gets pushed constantly. Worst of all, those pushing it are often well-meaning. In this misguided Telegraph article on "The 12 Rules of Male Friendship," the author lists rules like "3. Never openly verbalize that you value the friendship," and "7. Indirection can be intimate." It's hard to understand why these rules should have to apply to male friendships, especially when studies make it so clear that men feel otherwise and are capable of intimacy.

Similarly, fandom and shipping communities tend to imbue their favorite straight male friendships in fiction with sexual connotations, which may be fun but also further stigmatizes genuine emotional connection between male friends. A great example of this can be found in the Sherlock fandom's "Johnlock" conspiracy, which posits that Sherlock and John are actually written as gay characters in the BBC show, despite the creators' statements to the contrary. In fact, some writers even argue that it doesn't even matter what the actors behind the characters think about their own characters' relationships and motivations.

Even puppets aren't immune. Sesame Street pals Ernie and Bert have long been the subject of the "are they friends or lovers?" debate, which seems like a strange take in a series where nobody seems to have sexual or romantic motivation in the first place. Which begs the question: Why can't two guys just be very close friends? Why do we let society stop men from openly expressing friendships in healthy ways? Why shouldn't we cuddle with our bros?