Culture Feature

A Brief History of Shakespeare's Possible Bisexuality

Recent research suggests now, more assuredly than ever before, that the Bard wasn't straight.

What do cuffed jeans, bob haircuts, septum piercings, the song "Sweater Weather" by the Neighborhood, and Shakespeare have in common? They're all tenets of bisexual culture.

Yes, you read that right: William Shakespeare, inarguably the greatest English-language writer of all time, has been inducted into bisexual culture—a celebration of things that are generally thought to be affiliated with, in one way or another, people who are bisexual. Speculation surrounding Shakespeare's sexuality is nothing new, but recent evidence proves that the English playwright was almost definitely not straight.

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​Shakespeare's Dicks and Vonnegut's Farts: Teaching Literature in the Time of COVID-19

Or, One Teacher's Confessions About "Remote Learning": I Don't Care Anymore

Remote Learning

Photo by Chris Montgomery on Unsplash

Do you spend your nights sheltering-in-place reading Ernest Hemingway's "Hills Like White Elephants?"

Are you moved by the irony of Kate Chopin's "The Story of an Hour" while you gaze at spring out the window? What role does Edgar Allan Poe's Gothicism play in your quarantine experience? For the two dozen college freshmen I'm assigned to teach via "remote learning" in New York City, those questions affect their studies, their grade in my course, and how they spend their hours during the week. What I can't tell them is this: It doesn't matter. At best, it will temporarily distract you during this time of crisis, but ultimately your memory and ability to process information is compromised because your brain functions differently during a crisis.

Additionally, some of my students' families are sick. Some of them don't have stable access to an Internet connection or even a working computer. They complete their work on their phones, emailing me their apologies when it's riddled with typos. Some of them, most frighteningly, have barely sent word that they're even okay.


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BTS

Jordan Strauss/AP/Shutterstock

Kids these days are up to a lot of things.

Saving the planet, running businesses, starting social movements... It's fair that we'd all be concerned for their well-being. Fortunately, the Internet has come through with a handful of codes and cheat sheets that you can use to decipher what your child is really getting up to online.


Astrology

BTS

(Timothée) Chalamet

Decolonization

(Edgar Allan) Poe

Financial Crisis (2008)

Guinea Pigs

Hamlet

Intersectional Feminism

Julio-Claudians

Kingdom Hearts

Love, Simon

Molecular Biology

Naruto

Oklahoma

Pop-Punk

The Q'uran

Radical Liberalism

Stew

Tide Pods

Unions

(Two Gentlemen of) Verona

Writing

X Factor Auditions


(The New York) Yankees

Z


The truth is that these memes are more about Boomers and Gen X'ers than they do about kids these days. We all know that older generations spend more time than anyone leaving angry comments on Facebook pages, and they're the ones who worry relentlessly about the Internet when maybe they should have been worrying about climate change or gun violence. But hey, as long as your kid isn't texting about communism, everything's going to be just fine.

Now, please, let's all get off the Internet.