FILM

Jack Waz Is on a Mission to Release the Butth*le Cut of "Cats"

His inside source says that 400 shots of cat butth*les were censored from the final cut, and Jack believes they can still be retrieved

Update 4/2/2020: A fan has stepped up to produce a trailer with restored buttholes, and it is glorious.

CATS: The Butthole Cut www.youtube.com


In recent months writer Jack Waz has made it his mission to gift the world what we were deprived of on December 20 of last year.

In the rush to prepare a final cut of Cats—including edits that continued until just 36 hours before the film's premiere—Director Tom Hooper made a grave error: He deleted the butth*les. Jack Waz is the absolute unit of a Hollywood writer who has devoted himself to righting that grave injustice.

If you saw the film, you may have assumed that the utter lack of visible butth*les on any of the humanoid cat-monsters was simply a gross oversight. For a film that features Sir Ian McKellen perfectly embodying the physicality of an aging stage cat—complete with meows, grooming, and lapping up milk—it was instantly off-putting to not see the entire cast constantly displaying their butth*les to one another and the camera.

Anyone who's ever been intimately familiar with a cat knows that, along with rubbing their cheeks against you, letting you get a good look at their naked pink butth*les is among the best ways they have of showing their affection. Did Tom Hooper and the effects team seriously forget to include that? How much work are we as the audience supposed to do in suspending our disbelief? For the true cat lovers among us, it lent an eerie sense of unease to all the Jellicle interactions—as though these hideous cat-creatures, that are supposedly all members of a tight-knit organization, were holding onto a secret distrust of one another. In every shot of the film—even when butts were prominently on display—there was nary a butth*le to be found. Were they all clenching so tightly? Why were they concealing their butth*les?!

Jack Waz has the answer, and has spent the last three months trying to spread the word of the Butth*le Cut to a world that ignored him—until Tuesday night, when his message finally got some attention and became a trending topic on Twitter—even receiving an endorsement from Star Wars: The Last Jedi director Rian Johnson. Maybe it's because social-distancing for the coronavirus pandemic has pushed culture increasingly online, or because Cats has recently become available through on-demand streaming services—prompting Seth Rogen to live-tweet his first viewing while high. Whatever it was that got people to finally notice, Jack Waz had the inside scoop.

According to a tweet from Waz, an acquaintance who works in visual effects was brought onto the project in its final months to remove butth*les from around 400 shots of what would have been a much better movie. To put that in perspective, the final cut of Avengers: Infinity War contains around 2,900 visual effects shots in total. In other words, 400 altered shots represents a huge chunk of the movie that originally featured the butth*les that we all went to this movie expecting. How much time and money went into removing the most expressive part of a cat-chimera's body from the film? Those resources could have been spent on improving scale issues, replacing human hands, and cleansing the world of the image of tiny, line-dancing mouse and roach-people being swallowed by Rebel Wilson.

If censoring the butth*les was deemed necessary to maintaining the film's baffling PG rating, they could have at least allowed the cats the dignity of Twinkle Tushes—the only jewelry designed to hang from a cat's tail and cover its butth*le. Instead, they opted to rob them of their essential character, their felinity, their butth*les.

Twinkle Tush

Thankfully, now that Jack Waz has brought this issue to light, we can abandon juvenile fantasies like the #SnyderCut and the #JJCut, and focus on a movement that can unite the world. In one voice we must rise up against this injustice and demand that Universal Pictures release the butth*le cut. #ReleaseTheButth*leCut

FILM

"Cats" Is the Worst "Star Wars" Movie Yet

If you were hoping that Cats would be a great Star Wars movie, you're in for a disappointment. It's a bad one.

Movieweb

As a huge Star Wars fan, I've spent months looking forward to the latest entry in the saga: Cats.

I wish I could say that all the anticipation was worth it, but I honestly think it's the worst Star Wars movie yet—and yes, I'm including the prequels. While I understood the backlash to The Last Jedi, I didn't expect J.J. Abrams to so thoroughly retcon all of Rian Johnson's contributions to the Star Wars universe. It was like starting over from scratch.

cats

Perhaps that's why he also felt the need to throw in such a huge cast of new characters we've never heard of before. New characters appear and are introduced so quickly that it's hard to know who we're supposed to care about, which really saps the energy out of all the intrigue and interpersonal drama. Leaving aside the introduction of new elements like the Heaviside Layer—which promises new life, erasing the stakes of mortal danger—I just didn't find myself invested in any member of the Jellicle tribe (who seem to be the new faction of the Resistance).

James Corden as Bustopher Jones

Early in the film it seemed that Rum Tum Tugger—a rebellious character with a lot of sex appeal, in the mold of Han Solo—was going to be central to the action now that Han himself has been killed off. But as things progressed, I was less and less sure. Was I supposed to be looking for some conflict to arise with the new Jabba the Hutt character—an imposing plutocrat named Bustopher Jones? Or is the true villain the kidnapper Macavity, played by Idris Elba, who steals away the sage, Obi-Wanesque Old Deuteronomy, as portrayed by Judi Dench?

And can we please talk about these new names? Star Wars has always had some weird ones—I'm not going to defend Jek Porkins—but Munkustrap? Skimbleshanks? Bombalurina? Do all the new characters have to have dumb names like this? Obviously I'll make an exception for the bright spot that is Mr. Mistoffelees—whose name is almost as cool as his mysterious new force powers.

Mr. Mistoffelees

Speaking of force powers, it's great that there are so many new force-users performing acrobatic Jedi moves, but does it have to be such a focus? The newest installment was so obsessed with showcasing these impressive abilities that it seemed to forget entirely about Star Wars staples. With very little in the way of training montages, characters seem to be able to perform superhuman feats the likes of which we've never seen before, but I don't think I saw a single light saber battle.

Speaking of Star Wars staples, did John Williams drop out of this one or something? The music in this one was fun at times, but it lacked the thrilling, epic scale of Williams' orchestral sound. And all the characters singing about themselves and each other didn't really help. I also thought it was a strange decision to make the switch back to CGI from the practical effects that have dominated in the sequels so far.

acrobatics

That said, replacing all the characters with sexy anthropomorphic cat people was a great call, and made me really excited for the future of Star Wars. Go see this one with your parents.

Getty Images

The massive popularity of movies based on comic book characters and storylines seems obvious. But before Batman Begins and Iron Man, they were often a risky investment followed by a major flop. And now, both Marvel and DC have their own universes created through interconnecting movie franchises. With each new film, audiences are expected to be familiar with the ongoing storyline, characters, and sequences of events. That might seem like common sense, but this serialization is pretty new for movies. And it's turning us all into nerds.

Franchises are the big ticket in Hollywood. Almost everything has a sequel and trilogies are a dime a dozen. But most sequels can be easily understood and enjoyed without having seen any of the previous films. The classic example of this is James Bond. There are over 20 movies in the series, but you can watch them all in any order you want and still be able to understand the plot. This is typical of action movie franchises like Die Hard and Taken. Many comedy movie series are similar, like The Hangover. The basic premise is set up within the first few minutes of the movie and allows the audience to jump in regardless of their previous knowledge of the franchise. It's essentially a fresh start every time — regardless of how high the number is in the movie title.

But the universes Marvel and DC are creating on screen with their characters break this mold. Every Iron Man sequel builds on the plot set out in previous movies as well as events in other Marvel franchises. These movies are often full of cameos, references, and call backs. Audiences are just expected to keep up. Sure, these films can be enjoyed without much prior knowledge. However, Avengers: Infinity War is set to be a blockbuster in 2018 and is the culmination of 10 years of movies. The film will include basically every character that has been introduced in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And the plot will likely have far-reaching implications for each of the heroes in the story. Meaning, every single Marvel movie franchise will be affected by what happens. So if you only care about Spider-Man or Captain America, you kind of have to watch this movie to understand what will happen next. And that a huge change for Hollywood.

Yes, franchises like Die Hard and The Hangover do address events in the past. But this is usually limited to just a line or two and past events don't really affect future films. Just think about it. The plot lines of these franchises start to become ridiculous when you try to connect them all together. There isn't really any rational explanation for why John McClain always ends up in a hostage situation or why four friends can't party without blacking out and losing someone.

Marvel isn't the only one committed serialized stories in movies. There are rumors that the DC Extended Universe of movies will be rebooted with the upcoming Flash movie. Essentially, The Flash runs so fast that he goes back in time and creates an alternate universe. This could create a fresh start for most DC properties. This event would allow Warner Bros to recast Batman without much confusion. In the Hollywood before serialized stories, you could replace an actor and move on without mentioning it or addressing it. Like James Bond. But now, DC and Warner Bros feel compelled to adapt a complicated storyline to explain why some of their actors might be replaced.

In the decades before, this kind of storytelling was dismissed as something only comic book nerds wanted. Now it's almost a cultural staple. And honestly, Hollywood is playing a game of catch up. Serialized stories are the basic medium of any TV series nowadays. You can't even watch a 30-minute sit com without having to deal with character development and developing storylines. Netflix and Hulu originals have been creating popular serialized stories for years. There's a reason you can't wait for the next season of Stranger Things. You just have to know what happens next.

But this concept isn't entirely new in Hollywood. Star Wars is probably one of the earliest and most relevant examples. Each new film is another installment in the ongoing storyline. You can't really expect to watch The Last Jedi or The Force Awakens without having seen any other Star Wars movie. Disney and LucasFilm are taking the concept further with their anthology installments. Rogue One and the Han Solo origin film are intended to fill in the gaps the original episodes left open. And this is all to please the voracious appetite of committed long-time fans. It really wasn't that long ago that most films were created for the casual movie goer. Now, production studios are working to create large fan bases by providing rich lore and building a shared universe. This has already occurred with The Matrix trilogy and even the Fast and Furious franchise.

Comic book films have proved that movie goers enjoy serialized stories just as much as the graphic novel reader or the drama series binger. Like it or not, this kind of storytelling is here to stay. Might as well get nerdy with it.


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FILM & TV

BOX OFFICE BREAKDOWN | What's coming to theaters this weekend?

DEC. 14th-16th | Star Wars: The Last Jedi is finally here! And more films to discover!

Even if you haven't been waiting for the latest installment in the Star Wars franchise, get ready to laugh along during the 1980s and smile at a cute bull with this weekend's premieres.

In Popdust's new column, Box Office Breakdown, we aim to inform you of the top flicks to check out every weekend depending on what you're in the mood to enjoy. Looking to laugh? What about have your pants scared off? Maybe just need a little love? Whatever the case may be, we have it.

Take a peek at our top picks for this week...

Permanent

The 1980s were not the best times for fashion and beauty, but they were a time for families and fun. Go back in time with this less-than-glamorous comedy about a young teenager who wants nothing more than for her hair to be curly and stylish, and her parents who are just trying to get their own lives together. Laugh, cry, and thank God you never got the idea to put a perm in your hair as you watch this family decide whether or not they are going to accept the blessed mess that they are. Warning: spandex might make several appearances.

Purchase Tickets for Permanent!

PG-13 | Running Time 1hr 33m | Magnolia Pictures | Director: Colette Burson
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Patricia Arquette, Kira McLean, and more!

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