A Defense of Face Tattoos (and a Few Cautionary Tales)

Face tattoos are far from just SoundCloud trends.

Face tattoos have a pretty bad rap.

We love to make fun of them, laughing at the knowledge that there are people out there who are going to be stuck with a garish numerical figure on their foreheads or a phrase like "Always Tired" under their eyes for the rest of their lives.

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On the other hand, tattoos in general have always received harsh criticism. Though every millennial seems to have at least a few fine-line arm tattoos nowadays, all over the world and in many faiths, tattoos are sacrilegious, evidence of Satan's corrupting influence or its many iterations. Thus, tattoos have always been mechanisms of subversion and counterculture, whether as markers of membership in certain groups, or monikers of individuality, or signifiers of devotion to a certain kind of art or person. They've been ways of reclaiming or altering one's physical appearance, ways of taking ownership of a body that, all too often, capitalism and the media try to devour or force to align with some standard.

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Worst terrible awful tragic fan tattoos ink disasters—these act as a reminder to always think before you ink...oh, and get a decent tattoo artist who can spell

Worst terrible awful tragic fan tattoos ink failures galore!

Some people are truly incapable of abiding by the motto: Think before you ink.

They remain seemingly oblivious to the reality that a spur of the moment tattoo will be there FOREVER.

Well, unless you want to go through the painful, expensive and time consuming process of tattoo removal.

So, before you go and spend your hard earned cash on a tattoo, it’s always a good idea to think good and hard about what you want.

And, nine times out of ten:

It’s an even better idea to think even harder and longer if you’re a fan and considering inking your body with a tribute to your idol.

For example:

When you’re a teen Spice Girls fan, it may seem like an amazing idea to get Posh, Sporty, Baby, Ginger and Scary tattooed over the whole of your back.

However, fast forward twenty years, and you’re a father-of-four and, well, yeah, it’s just plain scary…. without any of the spice….

Let’s face it, often you grow out of, or move on from, your celeb idols—or, they do something terrible, and you find yourself with that giant Bill Cosby tattoo.

But look, if you really HAVE to get a celebrity inspired inking, please make sure you find a tattoo artist that isn’t dyslexic.

Or, as one poor dude found out the hard way—you’re going to have to live forever with Riahnna emblazoned across your chest.

And, that’s likely more painful than having the tattoo done in the first place.

From grandma with the Twilight cast (really badly) inked all over her back, to truly creepy Michael Jackson tributes, to typos, to the just plain bizarre—these tattoos will truly make you think before you ink.

Or at least give you a really good laugh at others’ expense.

Check out Popdust’s gallery of the worst terrible awful tragic fan tattoos ink failures galore!

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Worst terrible awful tragic fan tattoos ink failures

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Worst terrible awful tragic fan tattoos ink failures

104 year old man tattoo

103-year-old Jack Reynolds is a record breaking dare devil!

He's like the new David Blaine! Or the old David Blaine. Or whatever.

Never too old to ink 104 year old man tattoo

To commemorate turning 104, Jack has decided to get a tattoo, and in so doing, will become the oldest person in the history of the world to submit to the needle.

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It will be such a milestone, in fact, that it'll enter him into the Guinness Book of World Records.

The spry humdinger's first choice was to take his granddaughter's hover board for a hover, but when his family begged him not to, the rebel Reynolds opted for ink.

All for a good cause 104 year old man tattoo

Two years ago, Jack tempted fate (and cardiac arrest) by becoming the oldest person to complete the “Ice Bucket Challenge."

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In the meantime however, Jack has a dilemma. He's worried his arms are too scrawny to properly display the design of the tattoo, but noted the design will be even more difficult to see if it's on his ass.

The solution is obviously to beef up his arms through dumb bell work-outs.

Asked if he's nervous about getting the tattoo done, he replies, “I'm a big strong lad - and I've have plenty of needles in me in my time, in various places."

Young at heart 104 year old man tattoo

Jack's daughter Jayne, who says Guinness World Records have confirmed it would be a new record, describes her dad as very young at heart—and says he spends a good chunk of his time on Facebook.

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She told the Ilkeston Advertiser, “Dad wanted to do something to raise money for charity again and I suggested he have a tattoo which he agreed to. We all think it's great."

He's already raised over $2,200 for the Chesterfield-based Ashgate Hospicecare—a U.K. based charity that provides care to people with any life limiting illness, helping them live for every day.

“I really love using my age to help me with my fundraising and I'd love for people to help me support Ashgate Hospicecare – it's a great charity and very close to my heart," Jack explains.

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“I think the tattoo should be his date of birth, or his nickname – Jacko – on his back," Jayne suggests. “My dad's absolutely amazing and everyone loves him."

Secret to a long life 104 year old man tattoo

When asked for the secret to a long and happy life, Jack says, “Work hard, always smile, get plenty of fresh air and last but not least have a tot of Grouse whisky in your tea in the morning and a tot before bed."

We'll drink to that Jack!

You can sponsor the young whipper snapper here